You promote what you tolerate

Let that sink in. You promote what you tolerate. Let that sink in again.

I saw that on someone’s t-shirt and that mantra has stuck with me ever since. I am very careful as to what I tolerate.

What are you tolerating?

·       Lack of respect?

·       A toxic environment?

·       Bad behavior?

·       Negativity?

I could keep going on. There are some things I have absolutely no patience for. The above list is an example. I absolutely will NOT tolerate any form of it. Not even a teeny little bit of it. When I recognize it, I walk away and walk away quickly. No further reason needed.

If you cannot change it, then you need to change yourself. That could mean walking away from people or places that do not suit you or go against your core values. Never put up with bad behavior or a toxic culture. Learn to walk away as soon as you can before that becomes your norm or you promote that behavior inadvertently. Remember “you promote what you tolerate”. I have walked away from situations, people and places that do not suit my lifestyle or value system.

So, what happens when you don’t have the luxury of not being able to change the situation and you cannot just walk away?

·       You let your voice heard – Speak up of what you are willing to accept and what you will NOT put up with. Be clear with your expectations. Be clear with why you will not accept it. Be reasonable. Make sure you are not the unreasonable one or the one causing all the stir. 

·       Start planning - You plan your next move. Carefully. You assess what you will do next. You can’t change the past, but you can certainly make calculated moves towards the direction you need to go to next.

·       Get help – I’ve been in conflict situations where I could not change the very unreasonable person I was dealing with. I did try, but I couldn’t change them, not one little bit. So, I got help to change my attitude towards the person and the circumstance. I did eventually plan out my next move. It was too much of a toxic person/environment to ignore and put up with.

Never put up with people or situations that are negative towards your health (including mental health), be guarded with your inner circle and be WELL aware of what you tolerate. You promote what you tolerate.