When everyday feels like Groundhog Day

It’s been just over a year now with shutdowns, lock-downs, stay at home orders, grey zones and red zones, and just like most of you, I can’t keep up. Regardless of what colour or lock-down type it is, we’ve pretty much been indoors. Going out for a few drives, dropping off groceries for my daughter who lives an hour away from us and only going out when we must for groceries, and even that, hubby has that covered so I remain mostly indoors. It feels like Groundhog Day every day. One day blending into another into one very long and tiring year. To find some light to things and stay motivated, I’ve been trying to find something new, something to look forward to everyday. It’s hard at times when everyday feels just like the day before but I really do try. It gets me up and looking forward to the day and maybe the event I’m anticipating, however small that maybe.

I’ve listed some of my favourites and yes, they are somewhat in raking order.

·       Leafs games!!

·       Raptor’s games and the Jays – although I still can’t sit through an entire baseball game on tv yet.

·       Long drives by the Lakeshore or anywhere near water.

·       A long walk in nature.

·       New yoga classes.

·       Online seminars and learnings – these have been great to keep up with what others are doing to adapt to this new norm and stretch my learnings.

·       A virtual coffee chats.

·       House party with friends – no not an actual party but an app that’s a bunch of games you play virtually with friends.

·       A good book – this has been something really exciting to look forward to, and I don’t give the ones that don’t resonate with me anymore of my time. I was someone that pushed through to continue reading but not anymore. There are way too many good ones to get to.

·       Duolingo – another app – I’m learning Spanish. I’ve been keeping this up every day. I will be well prepared the next time I travel whenever that is.

·       Planning the next trip. Researching, looking up new destinations, flipping through You Tube videos has me looking forward to the next trip. Definitely not the same as going but planning, plotting and researching is lots of fun. I have three booked and am waiting for the green light to fly.

·       A meal from a local restaurant.

·       A new project.

·       Shutterfly – I spent an entire weekend converting all those old vacation pics into photo books. It was an absolute joy to get the books and go through them.

·       Netflix series – there’s some great ones. It’s nice to look forward to a new episode each day.

·       Explore new ideas and opportunities. Plan them out. Make it happen.

·       Change up a room. We spruced up the principle bedroom with curtains and what a transformation it was.

·       I’m fortunate to be working on a big construction project. There is never a dull moment at work and seems something new happens everyday that never fails to surprise me.

·       Selfcare. So essential, so carve out the time!

·       Declutter – organize! 

·       I hate cooking – but a few times I did make it a point to plan and cook a meal – Moussaka one day and nachos another. It was something to look forward to and everyone enjoyed it. I am yet to plan the next but again…something to look forward to.

These are just a few of my favourites and I am always looking for more ideas. When everyday feels like Groundhog Day, challenge yourself to find something new. Dig deep. What’s new? Tweet me some of your ideas I can try out.

Mindful Leadership

 Mindfulness is being aware of yourself, your feelings and being in the present moment fully. It’s being super focused on the present without judgment. Fully being here in the now. No thoughts of your to-do list, what’s in the past or what’s to come. Not as easy to do specially with all the distractions and “noise” all around. 

We have been trained to multi-task, tackle an endless list of tasks amongst the myriad of distractions. If we can’t juggle, churn results and compete tasks with speed often times we are left with feeling lack and failure. So it’s no wonder we can’t be still, be present and just tune into the present moment. This is exactly what mindfulness is. It’s shutting down that chattering mind and pressing pause, to truly take in what’s happening, what you are feeling and reflecting without judgement of yourself and others. 

So what is mindful leadership? Let’s break it down. Leadership is about empowering, guiding and moving people forward to be better, do better. Mindful leadership is about doing just that in addition to being fully present for yourself and others. Consciously being aware of the present and giving yourself and others your full attention. At times we confuse leadership with getting things done through others. It’s not just getting things done that’s important but HOW it’s done. How it’s delivered and how it’s impacting the people we lead is just as important, if not more. This is where being mindful comes in. Being mindful and truly aware of the present moment, how you are feeling and how those you lead maybe feeling allows you to not only deliver results but also deliver them mindfully, effectively and compassionately, truly empowering others to be and do their best. 

How can we practice more mindful leadership? Here’s a few of my suggestions;

1. Meditation or set aside quiet time - start with a daily habit of setting aside about 10-20 min daily to meditate or sit quietly turning off the mind chatter. Meditation is one of the most effective ways of cultivating mindfulness. It maybe difficult for some to practice quiet meditation at first, so start with small, gradual steps. There’s a ton of apps to help start a good meditation habit. Bringing awareness and focus to your breath - in through the nose, and out through the nose is one of the quickest ways to tune into the present moment and quiet the mind. Start with small moments, with a minute or two and begin to increase it slowly.
2. Pause before you act or react. Next time there’s something tugging your attention, stop, reflect, and then take action. Not everything will be a fight or flight moment. Practicing a pause allows you to be in the present moment, and reflect your best next steps. 
3. Check in with yourself and others you lead regularly. How are you doing? How are you feeling at this present moment? These are some questions you can ask yourself and others that you lead. Give yourself and others that space to answer. LISTEN to the answers without judgement. Being mindful is about being in the present moment and  your feelings with no judgement. Recognizing that there is no good or bad but that it just is. Let it sit. 
4. Hold space - to hold space for someone is truly being present, withholding judgments, and that human tendency to go into solution mode. This is true even for yourself. It’s giving yourself and those you lead the time and space when they are going through a difficult problem to slowly work itself through. 
5. Avoid picking up the phone - set aside time to leave the distractions at bay. Tempting as it maybe to multi-task, just stop. Put down the phone or whatever the other distraction is and focus on just one thing. While multi-tasking maybe an essential skill these days it dilutes the mind of really staying focused and finding that flow. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but find sometime throughout the day to focus on one thing and one thing only. 
6. Exercise - it’s yoga for me. I find an easy linkage between yoga and mindfulness but it maybe something else for you. A run, a walk, or whatever choose, find time to move. Working out the body also works the mind. It’s also a great way to release tension and stress which often gets in the way of being present and being mindful. 

Mindful,leadership is an essential quality in good leadership. You can’t be a good leader without being mindful. Practicing and cultivating mindfulness should be a daily habit. What are some of your suggestions? 

Life is precious – don’t take it for granted!

It was 9/11 about a week ago and I am reminded how fragile and precious life is.  All those who lost their lives that day, headed out that morning to work, boarded a plane, went out for a walk or started their daily routine not knowing that it was their last. Their lives and the lives of their loved ones altered forever in just a fraction of a moment. Just like that.

I remember when the son of a very good friend of ours died in a boating accident. He was 13! I recall hearing the news stunned in disbelief. He was my son’s hockey team mate. He was out on their family boat on a long weekend in the summer when tragedy struck. I still remember the faces of the family members at the funeral and my son, along with five other team mates walking beside the casket. It hit home. Life is precious. Not a single moment should ever be taken for granted.

That experience taught me a lot.

·        Don’t save things for special occasions

·        If you have something nice to say to someone, say it. Don’t hold back

·        Pursue your dreams – write them down, set goals and keep chipping away at them

·        Every morning is a gift – treat it as such

·        Your family is the most important thing in this world. Never ever take them for granted

·        Appreciate the simple treasures in life

·        Don’t put off things you can accomplish today

·        Cultivate a grateful mindset

·        Never sweat the small stuff – “Let it go” ~ Frozen

·        Appreciate all the beauty around you

·        Live in the moment. Appreciate it. Treasure it. Soak it in

·        LIVE

·        Life is short – buy the shoes, take the trip, eat the cake

·        Know that you CAN make a difference, even in the smallest of ways you can

·        There is no such thing as a perfect time

I could keep going on. We get so caught up with life and the littlest of things at times that we forget to treasure the moment, enjoy the present and really and truly be grateful for the gift we have called life. So, live it. Treasure it. Take it in. Be ever so grateful for the gift of it.    

Own it and turn it into brilliance

Have you ever seen the TV series Ballers? It’s about a “fixer”/ “man Friday” to pro-football players and a series we are hooked on watching right now. Anyway, in one of the episodes the lead character Spencer, tries to patch things up with an old rival player, Balsamo, by having him throw out the first pitch at a baseball game. It’s a huge moment for the retired footballer, Balsamo. As he comes out, the crowd cheers him on and chants his name. It’s a flashback to his glory days. He takes to the pitcher’s mound and swings it hard towards home plate. He completely misses and slams the ball straight into the stomach of the boom-mic guy on the side. The crowd starts booing and someone yells “Balsamo, you suck”. Balsamo utterly butchered his spotlight moment and he stands frozen looking around at the crowd. Instead of cowering back to the stands, he owns the blunder, throws his arms up triumphantly and confidently, egging the crowd to cheer him on. Suddenly, the fans change, and they are back to applauding him and cheering him on. It’s an amazing moment. I remember watching it thinking it’s a wonderful lesson in turning things around. Not everything will go as well as we planned so why not own it and make it a brilliant lesson.

Sure, some lessons will be humbling, very humbling and we should not or may not have the opportunity to celebrate it, like catastrophes (I won’t go into detailed examples, but you can imagine what they are). These may not be the moments we throw our arms up in the air and ask for more applause, but there are lessons we can learn. We just take them in quietly, reflecting on them with care and grace.

For the most part though mistakes are just that, mistakes. We seem to give them too much negative energy, rather than spinning them into something good and something valuable to learn from. Here’s my two cents….

·        Own it – You made the mistake, take ownership. Accept, apologize and move on.

·        Fix it – It’s yours to fix, so fix it. Figure out a way to make amends, make it better and turn it around so there’s some good that comes out of it.

·        Learn from it – Mistakes have a way of repeating themselves if you don’t learn from them the first time. Funnily enough, that’s how life works. So, learn from it, preferable the first time and not the second- or third-time round.  

·        Pay it forward – If someone’s made the same mistake, help them and support them through it. 

·        Reflect – How do you do better? How can you avoid this again? What went wrong? Reflection is key for self-growth. Careful that you don’t go down the “woah is me” path. Stay above the fray. Stay classy.

·        Turn it into brilliance – Mistakes are sometimes opportunities in the making. Penicillin and the chocolate chip cookie were discovered because Sir Alexander Fleming and Ruth Wakefield made mistakes. You may not be inventing the next Penicillin but who knows, there maybe a golden opportunity you maybe missing. Look closely. 

I just finished reading the book, #Girlboss, the rags to riches story of Sophia Amoruso who founded “Nasty Gal”, the fastest growing retailer in 2012 according to Inc Magazine. There’s a line in the book that I love…. I quote; “My advice to #GIRLBOSSes is to get excited about the mistakes you’ll make”. So, here’s to the fictional Balsamo’s and the non-fictional Sophia Amoruso’s who embraced their mistakes and turned them into brilliance. It’s time we do the same!  

You promote what you tolerate

Let that sink in. You promote what you tolerate. Let that sink in again.

I saw that on someone’s t-shirt and that mantra has stuck with me ever since. I am very careful as to what I tolerate.

What are you tolerating?

·       Lack of respect?

·       A toxic environment?

·       Bad behavior?

·       Negativity?

I could keep going on. There are some things I have absolutely no patience for. The above list is an example. I absolutely will NOT tolerate any form of it. Not even a teeny little bit of it. When I recognize it, I walk away and walk away quickly. No further reason needed.

If you cannot change it, then you need to change yourself. That could mean walking away from people or places that do not suit you or go against your core values. Never put up with bad behavior or a toxic culture. Learn to walk away as soon as you can before that becomes your norm or you promote that behavior inadvertently. Remember “you promote what you tolerate”. I have walked away from situations, people and places that do not suit my lifestyle or value system.

So, what happens when you don’t have the luxury of not being able to change the situation and you cannot just walk away?

·       You let your voice heard – Speak up of what you are willing to accept and what you will NOT put up with. Be clear with your expectations. Be clear with why you will not accept it. Be reasonable. Make sure you are not the unreasonable one or the one causing all the stir. 

·       Start planning - You plan your next move. Carefully. You assess what you will do next. You can’t change the past, but you can certainly make calculated moves towards the direction you need to go to next.

·       Get help – I’ve been in conflict situations where I could not change the very unreasonable person I was dealing with. I did try, but I couldn’t change them, not one little bit. So, I got help to change my attitude towards the person and the circumstance. I did eventually plan out my next move. It was too much of a toxic person/environment to ignore and put up with.

Never put up with people or situations that are negative towards your health (including mental health), be guarded with your inner circle and be WELL aware of what you tolerate. You promote what you tolerate.

Practice pause

Sunday morning is my yoga day. I try not to miss it, even if we have lots going on. It’s the one time in the week I practice my pause. A pause from thinking, doing, rushing, cramming everything I can do and more, and just pause. It’s a reflection of the week and a great start to the week ahead. It’s just me and my mat.  Taking everything in and letting everything go. Inhaling. Exhaling. Practicing pause.

Why don’t we just incorporate that every day? The practice of pause.

We live in a society where doing just one thing at a time is just not good enough. It’s a multi-tasking, multi-everything kind of society. We seem to be biting off more than we can chew and call it an accomplishment. Have we done it well? What did we sacrifice whizzing through it? What toes did we step on? How was our health? How did it affect our family and friends? Was it worth it in the end? Not sure if we have the answers. We may not even have time to reflect.

I know when I take to my mat every Sunday morning, I slow down. I reflect. I appreciate the moment of just being there. Taking a breath. Appreciating it. Taking a breath. Being grateful for all I have. Practicing a pause. Enjoying it. Being present in the moment. Why don’t we do it more often? Throughout the day, throughout the year, throughout our lives. Practice pause. Reflect.

1.       When it’s overwhelming – pause

2.       Not sure where to go or what to do next – pause

3.       Inundated with news of the day – pause

4.       Finished a task and before diving into the next – pause

5.       Career changes – pause

6.       In the morning before you start your day – pause

7.       In the hustle and bustle of the day – pause

8.       Anytime you feel you need it – pause

9.       Before we speak – pause

10.   At the end of the day – pause

11.   Tackling a wicked problem – pause

12.   On your vacation – pause

13.   Before saying yes – pause

14.   Before saying no – pause

15.   With your loved ones – pause. A big pause.

I’ve named only 15 but there’s so many more occasions and reasons we can pause, take things in, reflect and carve out a little break. Here’s to practicing it more…. pause. Namaste.

YOU are the Lead Actor in your movie

Never be the supporting actress or actor in your own movie. You play the lead role so play it. Stop playing second fiddle and back up! Often, we become extras in our own movie, playing alongside others who have taken over the lead roles. Enough already. It’s time to step up and move over to the role you were meant to play. It’s time to take the lead so….

·        Lead – It’s what you are meant to do. It’s your movie. It’s your life, so lead it. Whether it’s becoming a trail blazer or meandering through the world and enjoying your journey through life, it’s up to you to decide. Whatever that decision is, live your best life. Do good. Do your best. Live to the fullest.

·        Commit – Any good actor knows to make it a blockbuster, you’ve got to commit to the role. Give it your everything and make it count. You can’t play a half-hearted character, you must be all in.

·        There will be do-overs – “Cut” the director yells. You get to run the scene again. I do realize sometimes you don’t have the luxury of a do-over. There are tragedies. In those instances, you take the time to heal and you move on to your next scene as hard as it maybe. Most times though, you do get a second chance. Sometimes however, it will take more than a second chance. Do it over and over until you get it right. It’s YOUR movie. It’s YOUR life.

·        Practice – Contrary to popular belief, it does not make perfect, but it will get you closer to it. Practice, over and over again. The more you practice, the better you get.

·        Change – As often as you want, as often as you need, change your story, change your scene. You are not only the lead actor but also the editor, director and producer all wrapped into one. At times though, change will happen without your direction. That’s just life keeping you in your toes. Re-adjust. Assess where you go next. It’s your movie, make it your own.

Too often we take a back seat in our own life. Letting others direct it the way they want. I just wanted to remind you that YOU are in fact the lead actor in your movie, in your life, so take centre stage. Lead…. “And action”….

Say it loud…… THE RAPTORS ARE THE 2019 NBA CHAMPS!

The Raptors are the 2019 NBA Champs!!! I like saying that. I will always remember where I was, who I was with and that glorious feeling of the “Sixers” (the 416ixers) winning in six. Two million people showed up for the parade to celebrate their historic win. This post is not about how great or historic that win was. We all know it was and then some more. It’s not about all the nail biting games they clinched leading up to it. It’s about how one man had a vision and moved his team towards executing that vision ever so well. It’s about leadership. The one big reason, in my humble opinion, why the Raptors won the Larry O’Brien trophy.

Most people did not understand or agree with the firing of former Raptor’s head coach Dwayne Casey, who had just been awarded Coach of the Year. Most people did not understand and hated the trade of fan favourite and star player DeMar DeRozen for Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green. It did not make sense to most, but to President of Raptor’s, Masai Ujiri, it made perfect sense. He was the leader that made the 2019 NBA championship possible. He executed pure and simple leadership.

·       Vision – He had a vision for the team and executed it with precision. He communicated that vision over and over, never giving up on it even when the team couldn’t see it. When the reality of it seemed like it was slipping away he still communicated that vision. He bought into the vision and kept selling us that vision at every opportunity he got. Yes, we all bought into it.

·       Seizing Opportunity – It was risky signing Kawhi Leonard coming off an injury, yet he seized it. A risky move, that later would pay off with an NBA championship and making Leonard one of the most valuable players in the sport.

·       Get the right people on the bus and get the wrong people off the bus – It’s a Jim Collin’s quote from his book “Good to Great”. If you haven’t read it, read it! It’s a great one. I’m sure it wasn’t easy letting Casey and Derozen go. To execute his vision and have it fulfilled however, it was needed. He needed to change up the dynamics of the team, change the leadership within it, so he could move it forward. He let them go, moved up Nick Nurse to head coach and brought in key players to fulfill his vision. After winning the championship he did give credit to both Casey and Derozen who were instrumental in the road towards the championship. Classy leadership!

·       Passion – He never lacked passion, in his pursuit of his vision, in the communication of his vision and the way he led. At times, he got into hot water trying to rally the team a little “too passionately” before crucial games.

·       Trust - He trusted his team, even when it seemed to not go as well. He was steadfast in his belief and trust in their capabilities and what they can achieve together.

If you follow basketball or the Raptors you would know that Kawhi Leonard, did not end up signing another season with Toronto. No hard feelings. We thank him for a stellar year and giving the city and the country something, we’ve never had before, an NBA championship. We wish him the best but not too much. We want to see the Raptors win again sometime soon. I trust Ujiri may have something up his sleeve …. I think it’s leadership.  

Do what you do with passion

I had posted my usual motivational tweet one morning… “Do what you do with passion or not at all”, to which someone sarcastically tweeted back, “I’m cleaning today, should I do that with passion too?” I said, “Absolutely yes”. Sure, it’s not, the most exciting of tasks, but still… why not? I would think you would want a clean looking house. How would you achieve the best possible result if you were grudgingly doing the work? I know I can’t. It’s easy when you are excited about the project or task to get passionate about the work. Not quite the same when it’s a mundane or day to day chore. So how do you get that excitement going?

·       Boost it up – ask yourself if it’s necessary – if not, then don’t do it. If it’s necessary, then get it done. Boost it up to liven the time doing it. I use music to boost up any tired old chore. Cleaning is a perfect example. With good music, I do feel passionately doing the most mundane of tasks. A little bit of wine helps too and sometimes more than just a little.

·       What’s next?  - it helps to think what’s coming up next. At times it’s something more exciting within a project or goal. Get the boring stuff out of the way to make room for the more exciting stuff. Doing with well and efficiently, will only lead to a better experience after it.

·       Two hands are always better than one – I like to include my family and friends in some of the not-so-exciting things I need to do. When we got our basement ready, when we needed to do some major cleaning and purging, I made sure I sourced out help. Didn’t want to keep all the “fun” to myself. It became an event, an exciting one and not so daunting and boring after all.

·       Envision the end – it’s nice to have a vision, with everything. It doesn’t have to be formal or written down but, planning it out in your head and envisioning the result and what it would look like can be good motivation on getting things done and getting them done well.

I must leave to complete another mundane task. Yes, it’s absolutely needed, and I am envisioning the final product to get me going. The end-result involves a very exciting NBA Finals game 5 against the Raptors and Golden State Warriors. Here I go with passion……

Persistence

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success – Napoleon Hill

Persistence is defined by the firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action despite difficulty or opposition. It’s undeniably the one factor that overcomes defeat, pushes people to succeed and conquers those so-called unattainable goals. The ability to keep pushing past barriers, struggles, challenges and overcoming the impossible at times, to accomplish what you want, is a worthy and admirable skill. It’s the single trait that allows people to keep moving forward and not take life’s hard blows lying down. I love reflecting on the examples we know well and some not as much. It’s something to strive towards and remind yourself to keep driving forward and getting up every time we fall and fail.  Here’s some fine example of persistence….in no particular order.

1.    Tiger Woods - History was made the other day with Tiger Woods winning the 2019 Masters tournament. He battled a dreadful unhinging of his personal life, a diminishing golf career and physical injuries to come back on top. After his steady demise he battled back to win his first major in eleven years becoming the 2019 Masters champion.

2.       Diana Nyad – At age 64 and on her 5^th attempt Diane Nyad, conquered the swim from Havana, Cuba to Florida. There were some critics and controversies surrounding her unassisted swim following her accomplishment. Still, you can’t ignore the fact that perseverance drove her to complete the swim on her fifth attempt at age 64! Thirty-five years after her first attempt at this feat at age 29 in 1978, it’s nothing but impressive. 

3.       Michael Jordon – “I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” It wasn’t everything but net for Michael Jordon who failed to make his high school basketball team. Not making the team was devastating but it pushed him to keep working harder and to keep persevering. It’s common knowledge how impressive of a career he had in basketball and by far one of the greatest athletes of our time.

4.       Nelson Mandela – After 27 years in prison, Mandela, did not give up hope or the desire to dismantle apartheid in South Africa. Soon after his release in 1990, he led the efforts to end apartheid. His long and gruelling stint in prison did not deter him from achieving his goal and desire for his nation. He was also befittingly called Madiba, Father of the Nation.

5.       Oprah Winfrey – Born into poverty and surviving a horrific childhood, Oprah persisted and slowly became a pinnacle of success and a magnate in the media. Her never say die attitude and positive thinking still resonates and changes peoples lives daily. Persistence is powerful.

6.       Joanne K Rowling – The author of the Harry Potter series, J K Rowling, was a single mom, who lived on welfare but never gave up her writing. She persisted through hardships, a divorce and depression, writing and mapping out her Harry Potter series wherever and whenever she could. The Harry Potter script was rejected by twelve major publishing houses and a couple years later was picked up by a small publisher who gave Rowling a small advance for the book and published only 1000 copies. The rest as you know is history.

7.       Sylvester Stallone – Trying hard to make a living, Stallone wrote the script for Rocky and wanted to star as the main character. He was rejected and was later offered $350,000 for the rights to the script, with someone else as the lead. He didn’t give in and settled for a much lower price for the script but with him as the star. The famous Rocky would not be the same without the persistence of Stallone.

8.       Alex Honnold – If you haven’t watched Free Solo yet, please do. It highlights the sheer grit, courage and persistence of Alex Honnold. He is the first and only person to free solo El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. His methodical and thoughtful planning along with his persistence of seeing it through despite all the risks involved, helped create one of the greatest athletic feats of our time.

9.       Walt Disney – He failed over and over before he succeeded. Several of his business went bankrupt before, Walt Disney became a mogul in the animation world. He believed in his art form and kept pushing through his failures and challenges. His loving creation Mickey Mouse still entertains and spreads happiness across the world today.

10.   Mahatma Gandhi – Lawyer who then become a political and social activist led the charge of gaining freedom in India. Exposed to racial discrimination in South Africa, Gandhi gradually became a social activist fighting for racial equality and rights in South Africa. Returning to his home country, India, Gandhi became synonymous with freedom and civil rights. His persistent, non-violent, non-cooperation movement helped the eventual independence of India.

Have I left off any other examples of persistence? If so, please do share!

Put down that phone.

It’s the age of the smart phone where you see everyone engrossed in their hand-held devices. If you just sit back and observe people around you, wherever you are, you will notice how almost everyone is buried on their phones. Yes, including me. There’d be people beside you, family, friends and strangers waiting for something, in the middle of a conversation, having dinner, watching TV, and all focus is on the phone. I saw a brilliant cartoon the other day on Facebook where people around were portrayed as shadows and the people beside them portrayed brightly and vividly on their phone, oblivious to the real world situations and people around them thanks to that wondrous invention – the smart phone. One time, we were at the airport and witnessed a family of four – mom, dad, two young children about five or 7 years old and all four of them on their devices sitting and waiting in the lounge. “How sad” I thought to myself and was also so thankful I didn’t have to raise my two kids (now adults 21 and 19) with the distraction of the smart phone or iPad. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not ALL bad. There is a purpose and wonderful world within that smart phone no doubt, however, as with anything in life, moderation is key.

There is an increased link to mental health issues, social anxiety and an addiction to social media due to the introduction of the smart phone. That’s another post for another time.

I feel I am constantly reminding my family of the need to put down that phone. At dinner and meal times together, it is an absolute NO, and everyone adheres to it! Overall though, it’s a hard sell. The smart phone gives you that distraction, engagement, entertainment and mindless leisure all at your finger tips….so I am starting the change with me.

·       I give myself periods during the day where I use it and then have time to be completely unplugged.

·       The phone was my train ride buddy – but now, I use it only half way through and switch to a great read for the other half of the ride. I’ve been reading more lately which I quite enjoy. I am currently reading Michelle Obama’s “Becoming” – a great read!

·       The mindless game of Candy Crush has stopped while having a conversation on speaker phone or my headset.

·       It’s been a treat to engage with people and being present fully without having to twiddle my thumbs on the device.

·       When I am watching TV or a movie – I do just that or at least I try my best to. This is still, a work in progress. For the most part it’s, no more picking up the phone and idling through social media during the boring parts or commercials.

·       It’s an absolute NO while enjoying company and hanging out with friends and family.

The phone still is a valuable tool when you want to look things up further to what you are watching or discussing, so that’s not going to stop. It’s a joy though, to enjoy life and people with no distractions. To be fully present. To enjoy and experience the moment just as it is. It’s hard for those, like me, who are accustomed now to the ease of information and entertainment right at your finger tips. It’s a process to unlearn something you just picked up and oh so well too. It’s work-in-progress to me. Now, I will be picking it up to post and promote this blog post and catch up on others, but right after, I am putting that darn phone down.

Drown out the white noise!

Ever had that nagging noise in the back of your head like a humdrum of a fan in the background? It usually comes on when a brilliant idea pops up or you want to go after something you’ve always wanted. Your passion, your dreams or goals perhaps. It’s an annoying buzz of negativity, what ifs and I don’t think it’s doable running low, slow and steady in the back of your mind. Drown it out! Yes, yes, it’s hard. Easier said than done I know, but, keep at it and it becomes easier and easier every time you do. Keep building that muscle of pushing out the noise. Soon it will become a habit and an instinct that helps you keep moving ahead with your ideas, goals and plans. Learn how to quieten the white noise when you have things to accomplish. Here’s how;

·        Take a break – Seems counter-intuitive but it really DOES work. Go for a walk. Take in nature. Just sit and still your mind with a cup of tea or coffee. Read a book. Do something to change the scenery. Don’t think about what needs to be done, just enjoy the moment, stay calm and try to quiet the mind by not thinking about what needs to be done, your idea, goal or plan. Just enjoy the moment just as it is. It may take a few hours, it may take a couple of days but tale the time needed to give yourself and your mind a break. Then get back at it.

·        Plan it out – “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail” ~ Benjamin Franklin. Plan out your idea or goal. Jot down the high-level steps, your details in-between, create a task list. It’s a great way to drown out the noise. Keep working towards your goal by pouring your mind and planning towards it. You won’t hear much of the noise planning out your big dream. Remember a dream is just a dream until it’s planned out and followed through by action to make it a reality.

·        Give in to it – Yes – it’s completely opposite of bullet #1, but, that white noise may be something you need to pay close attention to. Write down ALL the what ifs, the negatives, the issues and challenges. Think about ways to mitigate them. Write it out. Every time they come out, work out a strategy to overcome them. If you can’t come up with a strategy to overcome them, then action bullet #1 😊 it’s amazing what you can accomplish by just giving yourself a quick break.

·        Get help – Have a close circle of friends, family and encouragers. Seek out the most supportive in the lot and talk it out. Having a friendly ear always helps dispel any doubts. They can also help discern the real issues versus just random worries. Beware of the negative Nellies. See more here http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/05/dont-get-sucked-in.html They do have a purpose, but you are looking to move forward, so seek out the positive and encouraging allies you need during this time.  

Most often we don’t realize our purpose, dreams and goals, not because we can’t, but because we give into that white noise in the background. While there’s always value of listening in, there is more value in pushing through all that hum drum noise and realizing whatever it is you want to realize. So, shush that noise already and push through. Your passion project awaits.

Your Heart Does Not Lie!

2013 was a pivotal year for me. After having worked 12 years at my previous company, taking on a new role and a new challenge each year pretty much, I decided to call it quits and take my chances going after new opportunities. People thought I was nuts, having a pretty good gig going on. I loved the people, the place but no longer felt challenged or excited. I had nothing lined up nor was I actively looking right away after I quit. Instead I took the time off, to discover, play, travel and take on new challenges I would not have otherwise experienced had I stayed PUT! Just a few of my highlights;

1.    Gained my PMP (project management professional certification)

2.    Figured out social media and ran some marketing and sales campaigns

3.    Except for Lincoln, I saw all Oscar nominated “Best Picture” movies

4.    Disneyworld with my family…. Loads of fun!

5.    New Orleans!!

6.    Opened up my company and started a blog…which reminds me I have to write more often!

7.    Gained some awesome friends and mentors

8.    Got an opportunity to serve on the board of directors for the Canadian Mental Health Association in Peel region

9.    Landed a terrific new opportunity that affords me the privilege to serve and challenges me with some very exciting projects ahead

10.  My very favourite……LOTS of family time.

I am a NOT a believer of good things come to those who wait. I am a believer of going after what you want. So, go get it!! Don’t wait! Apart from the highlights, here are three very important lessons I took with me this year……

Listen to your heart

Do what feels right to you. You will have tons of naysayers. Learn to tune them OUT! I remember hearing the phrase “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” over and over, again. I tuned it out. I took a risk. A BIG risk and live to tell you that it was sooooo worth it! Do what you want to do and what feels right! Learn to listen to yourself more and tune out the white noise around you. Listen to your heart.

Seek out and cherish your support system

Being a mom of two, a wife, a mortgage holder, a bill payer, I couldn’t just up and quit and follow my speaking heart. I needed the support of my family. I needed them on my side. They encouraged me to follow my heart and when I was ready to seek out my next opportunity, they became my biggest cheerleaders. They cheered me on every single day. Make sure you have a very strong support system. I had the very best!!

Surround yourself with positivity

You are what you think. Guard your thoughts and actions carefully. Surround yourself with positive people. You can’t soar with the eagles if you hang around the turkeys. Figure out who your eagles and turkeys are and pick your company wisely. I surrounded myself with positivity and with people I could learn from, and did I ever learn a ton! Your attitude will determine your altitude and you want to make sure you aim high! Positivity is key!

So, what are some of the things you learned in 2013? Do let me know …..