When everyday feels like Groundhog Day

It’s been just over a year now with shutdowns, lock-downs, stay at home orders, grey zones and red zones, and just like most of you, I can’t keep up. Regardless of what colour or lock-down type it is, we’ve pretty much been indoors. Going out for a few drives, dropping off groceries for my daughter who lives an hour away from us and only going out when we must for groceries, and even that, hubby has that covered so I remain mostly indoors. It feels like Groundhog Day every day. One day blending into another into one very long and tiring year. To find some light to things and stay motivated, I’ve been trying to find something new, something to look forward to everyday. It’s hard at times when everyday feels just like the day before but I really do try. It gets me up and looking forward to the day and maybe the event I’m anticipating, however small that maybe.

I’ve listed some of my favourites and yes, they are somewhat in raking order.

·       Leafs games!!

·       Raptor’s games and the Jays – although I still can’t sit through an entire baseball game on tv yet.

·       Long drives by the Lakeshore or anywhere near water.

·       A long walk in nature.

·       New yoga classes.

·       Online seminars and learnings – these have been great to keep up with what others are doing to adapt to this new norm and stretch my learnings.

·       A virtual coffee chats.

·       House party with friends – no not an actual party but an app that’s a bunch of games you play virtually with friends.

·       A good book – this has been something really exciting to look forward to, and I don’t give the ones that don’t resonate with me anymore of my time. I was someone that pushed through to continue reading but not anymore. There are way too many good ones to get to.

·       Duolingo – another app – I’m learning Spanish. I’ve been keeping this up every day. I will be well prepared the next time I travel whenever that is.

·       Planning the next trip. Researching, looking up new destinations, flipping through You Tube videos has me looking forward to the next trip. Definitely not the same as going but planning, plotting and researching is lots of fun. I have three booked and am waiting for the green light to fly.

·       A meal from a local restaurant.

·       A new project.

·       Shutterfly – I spent an entire weekend converting all those old vacation pics into photo books. It was an absolute joy to get the books and go through them.

·       Netflix series – there’s some great ones. It’s nice to look forward to a new episode each day.

·       Explore new ideas and opportunities. Plan them out. Make it happen.

·       Change up a room. We spruced up the principle bedroom with curtains and what a transformation it was.

·       I’m fortunate to be working on a big construction project. There is never a dull moment at work and seems something new happens everyday that never fails to surprise me.

·       Selfcare. So essential, so carve out the time!

·       Declutter – organize! 

·       I hate cooking – but a few times I did make it a point to plan and cook a meal – Moussaka one day and nachos another. It was something to look forward to and everyone enjoyed it. I am yet to plan the next but again…something to look forward to.

These are just a few of my favourites and I am always looking for more ideas. When everyday feels like Groundhog Day, challenge yourself to find something new. Dig deep. What’s new? Tweet me some of your ideas I can try out.

Own it and turn it into brilliance

Have you ever seen the TV series Ballers? It’s about a “fixer”/ “man Friday” to pro-football players and a series we are hooked on watching right now. Anyway, in one of the episodes the lead character Spencer, tries to patch things up with an old rival player, Balsamo, by having him throw out the first pitch at a baseball game. It’s a huge moment for the retired footballer, Balsamo. As he comes out, the crowd cheers him on and chants his name. It’s a flashback to his glory days. He takes to the pitcher’s mound and swings it hard towards home plate. He completely misses and slams the ball straight into the stomach of the boom-mic guy on the side. The crowd starts booing and someone yells “Balsamo, you suck”. Balsamo utterly butchered his spotlight moment and he stands frozen looking around at the crowd. Instead of cowering back to the stands, he owns the blunder, throws his arms up triumphantly and confidently, egging the crowd to cheer him on. Suddenly, the fans change, and they are back to applauding him and cheering him on. It’s an amazing moment. I remember watching it thinking it’s a wonderful lesson in turning things around. Not everything will go as well as we planned so why not own it and make it a brilliant lesson.

Sure, some lessons will be humbling, very humbling and we should not or may not have the opportunity to celebrate it, like catastrophes (I won’t go into detailed examples, but you can imagine what they are). These may not be the moments we throw our arms up in the air and ask for more applause, but there are lessons we can learn. We just take them in quietly, reflecting on them with care and grace.

For the most part though mistakes are just that, mistakes. We seem to give them too much negative energy, rather than spinning them into something good and something valuable to learn from. Here’s my two cents….

·        Own it – You made the mistake, take ownership. Accept, apologize and move on.

·        Fix it – It’s yours to fix, so fix it. Figure out a way to make amends, make it better and turn it around so there’s some good that comes out of it.

·        Learn from it – Mistakes have a way of repeating themselves if you don’t learn from them the first time. Funnily enough, that’s how life works. So, learn from it, preferable the first time and not the second- or third-time round.  

·        Pay it forward – If someone’s made the same mistake, help them and support them through it. 

·        Reflect – How do you do better? How can you avoid this again? What went wrong? Reflection is key for self-growth. Careful that you don’t go down the “woah is me” path. Stay above the fray. Stay classy.

·        Turn it into brilliance – Mistakes are sometimes opportunities in the making. Penicillin and the chocolate chip cookie were discovered because Sir Alexander Fleming and Ruth Wakefield made mistakes. You may not be inventing the next Penicillin but who knows, there maybe a golden opportunity you maybe missing. Look closely. 

I just finished reading the book, #Girlboss, the rags to riches story of Sophia Amoruso who founded “Nasty Gal”, the fastest growing retailer in 2012 according to Inc Magazine. There’s a line in the book that I love…. I quote; “My advice to #GIRLBOSSes is to get excited about the mistakes you’ll make”. So, here’s to the fictional Balsamo’s and the non-fictional Sophia Amoruso’s who embraced their mistakes and turned them into brilliance. It’s time we do the same!  

Rome wasn’t built in a day

We are painting, doing some small renos and trying to de-clutter all at the same time. The house looks a disaster and will probably look even worse when the real work begins when we replace the flooring downstairs. There are buckets of paint, plastic paper, paint brushes and garbage bags throughout the house. The bedroom no longer a sanctuary and our bathroom doesn’t have a mirror! Yes…. it’s annoying and a tad inconvenient to say the least.

I remind myself daily that transformation takes time. The results will be amazing in the end. I keep repeating the mantra in my head, so I don’t get too frustrated with the chaos we’re in right now. It’s not easy going through it. It feels endless and so chaotic that sometimes it does not make sense. I keep the end vision in mind to get through it along with some other helpful hints.

·       It will get hectic, chaotic and messy. There’s no way out of this, to truly transform. Knowing this helps get through the sticky spots. You know it will be messy. You can expect it. It’s a sure thing so be prepared to hang in there through the ugliness.

·       Don’t expect it to change over night. Transformation takes time and sometimes LOTS of time. Be patient. Keep the faith.

·       There will be small victories through the journey. Enjoy them. We couldn’t see the floor or the back wall of a closet. When we de-cluttered it, the whole space looked entirely different. Spacious, new and inviting. The rest of the space the closet is in, still has a long way to go but the closet is something else 😊 small victories. Relish them.

·       Organize the chaos. It doesn’t have to be one big hot mess. Each room, each task can have it’s assigned plan and chaos. Phase it all out. We chose to move through the house in stages but we weren’t sticklers about moving to the next task until the previous one was complete. We did what made sense. As paint was drying in one room, we de-cluttered the next. Be flexible about the plan and adjust as you go along.

·       Take a breather. Trying to push through and plug away without a break will only burn you out. We had injuries trying to push through. So we take a load off. Sometimes slowing down, does help you move faster and longer. Remember the turtle and the hare story? 

Transformation is not easy and certainly not for the faint of heart. If you truly want a change for the better, personally and professionally, transformation is always needed a few times in your life and career. Just know that “Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous in the end” ~ Robin Sharma

When life gives you lemons…

I was looking for an inspirational/get well soon card today after finding out that a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer. One of them said “When life gives you lemons, you squeeze them in someone’s eyes”. Made me laugh and exactly what I needed to lighten the mood. What do you do, when life give you lemons? It can come in many forms, one of them being that dreaded C word. My daughter’s friend’s mom was also recently diagnosed, and my cousin’s been fighting it for over two years. While I have had my share of challenges, I’ve been luck enough that they haven’t been significantly life altering. So, what do you exactly do? I don’t have all the answers and it will be different for each person. I have learnt from my awesome cousin and friend that you simply keep going, as much as you can, as far as you can.

·        Take the time you need to heal. Pause, if you can. Catch your breath and assess what your next move will be. Will it be making lemonade out of the lemons you were just dished, or will it be a shot of tequila, followed quickly by that slice of lemon. Time may not be your friend, but it will give you a moment to assess and come up with a game plan of tackling the stack of lemons in front of you.

·        Appreciate the little positive moments you get in between the chaos. Every day is really a gift and should not be taken for granted. Take in the mundane, the not so exciting times and any little relief you get in between. They won’t all be bad, so treasure the positivity and the rays of sunshine as you go through your tiring journey.

·        Take a posse with you. My friend has a community around her of co-workers, close friends and of course, family. She’s building a buddy system, so she is not walking her path alone. For any life events, big or small she will be taking someone along with her, to support her, lift her up or just be there with her.

·        Do what feels right. There is no instruction manual or book to overcome life’s tough blows. Even if there were, they won’t exactly apply to what you are going through. Do what feels right. You will have lots of instructions and advice. Most of it well-intentioned. So, take the good with the bad and come up with your very own way of dealing with the stress, the tasks, the recovery and plan.

·        Ask for help. Never shy away from asking your friends and family for support or help. Most are only too happy to offer a helping hand and just need to be told what to do.

So, when life gives you lemons, what will you do? Maybe just hang in there and remind yourself that “this too shall pass”. I am not sure what exactly I would do, but I do love lemonade and a good shot of tequila.

Put down that phone.

It’s the age of the smart phone where you see everyone engrossed in their hand-held devices. If you just sit back and observe people around you, wherever you are, you will notice how almost everyone is buried on their phones. Yes, including me. There’d be people beside you, family, friends and strangers waiting for something, in the middle of a conversation, having dinner, watching TV, and all focus is on the phone. I saw a brilliant cartoon the other day on Facebook where people around were portrayed as shadows and the people beside them portrayed brightly and vividly on their phone, oblivious to the real world situations and people around them thanks to that wondrous invention – the smart phone. One time, we were at the airport and witnessed a family of four – mom, dad, two young children about five or 7 years old and all four of them on their devices sitting and waiting in the lounge. “How sad” I thought to myself and was also so thankful I didn’t have to raise my two kids (now adults 21 and 19) with the distraction of the smart phone or iPad. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not ALL bad. There is a purpose and wonderful world within that smart phone no doubt, however, as with anything in life, moderation is key.

There is an increased link to mental health issues, social anxiety and an addiction to social media due to the introduction of the smart phone. That’s another post for another time.

I feel I am constantly reminding my family of the need to put down that phone. At dinner and meal times together, it is an absolute NO, and everyone adheres to it! Overall though, it’s a hard sell. The smart phone gives you that distraction, engagement, entertainment and mindless leisure all at your finger tips….so I am starting the change with me.

·       I give myself periods during the day where I use it and then have time to be completely unplugged.

·       The phone was my train ride buddy – but now, I use it only half way through and switch to a great read for the other half of the ride. I’ve been reading more lately which I quite enjoy. I am currently reading Michelle Obama’s “Becoming” – a great read!

·       The mindless game of Candy Crush has stopped while having a conversation on speaker phone or my headset.

·       It’s been a treat to engage with people and being present fully without having to twiddle my thumbs on the device.

·       When I am watching TV or a movie – I do just that or at least I try my best to. This is still, a work in progress. For the most part it’s, no more picking up the phone and idling through social media during the boring parts or commercials.

·       It’s an absolute NO while enjoying company and hanging out with friends and family.

The phone still is a valuable tool when you want to look things up further to what you are watching or discussing, so that’s not going to stop. It’s a joy though, to enjoy life and people with no distractions. To be fully present. To enjoy and experience the moment just as it is. It’s hard for those, like me, who are accustomed now to the ease of information and entertainment right at your finger tips. It’s a process to unlearn something you just picked up and oh so well too. It’s work-in-progress to me. Now, I will be picking it up to post and promote this blog post and catch up on others, but right after, I am putting that darn phone down.

Drown out the white noise!

Ever had that nagging noise in the back of your head like a humdrum of a fan in the background? It usually comes on when a brilliant idea pops up or you want to go after something you’ve always wanted. Your passion, your dreams or goals perhaps. It’s an annoying buzz of negativity, what ifs and I don’t think it’s doable running low, slow and steady in the back of your mind. Drown it out! Yes, yes, it’s hard. Easier said than done I know, but, keep at it and it becomes easier and easier every time you do. Keep building that muscle of pushing out the noise. Soon it will become a habit and an instinct that helps you keep moving ahead with your ideas, goals and plans. Learn how to quieten the white noise when you have things to accomplish. Here’s how;

·        Take a break – Seems counter-intuitive but it really DOES work. Go for a walk. Take in nature. Just sit and still your mind with a cup of tea or coffee. Read a book. Do something to change the scenery. Don’t think about what needs to be done, just enjoy the moment, stay calm and try to quiet the mind by not thinking about what needs to be done, your idea, goal or plan. Just enjoy the moment just as it is. It may take a few hours, it may take a couple of days but tale the time needed to give yourself and your mind a break. Then get back at it.

·        Plan it out – “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail” ~ Benjamin Franklin. Plan out your idea or goal. Jot down the high-level steps, your details in-between, create a task list. It’s a great way to drown out the noise. Keep working towards your goal by pouring your mind and planning towards it. You won’t hear much of the noise planning out your big dream. Remember a dream is just a dream until it’s planned out and followed through by action to make it a reality.

·        Give in to it – Yes – it’s completely opposite of bullet #1, but, that white noise may be something you need to pay close attention to. Write down ALL the what ifs, the negatives, the issues and challenges. Think about ways to mitigate them. Write it out. Every time they come out, work out a strategy to overcome them. If you can’t come up with a strategy to overcome them, then action bullet #1 😊 it’s amazing what you can accomplish by just giving yourself a quick break.

·        Get help – Have a close circle of friends, family and encouragers. Seek out the most supportive in the lot and talk it out. Having a friendly ear always helps dispel any doubts. They can also help discern the real issues versus just random worries. Beware of the negative Nellies. See more here http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/05/dont-get-sucked-in.html They do have a purpose, but you are looking to move forward, so seek out the positive and encouraging allies you need during this time.  

Most often we don’t realize our purpose, dreams and goals, not because we can’t, but because we give into that white noise in the background. While there’s always value of listening in, there is more value in pushing through all that hum drum noise and realizing whatever it is you want to realize. So, shush that noise already and push through. Your passion project awaits.

Your Excitement Can Move People to Change!

The only constant and inevitable thing is change. You can be assured that just when things settle down, they will change soon enough. So, don’t get too comfortable!

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often – Winston Churchill

The last project I completed involved an implementation of a brand-new investment product and a new Customer Relationship Management system. The word around the water cooler was that it was the “project from hell”. There were times mid-project that I too believed it. Murphy certainly poked his head not once, not twice but several times during the 3+ year span of the project. It was essentially a strategic initiative (somehow initiative sounds too light of a word) that summed all the changes that the company had ever gone through and delivered it in one giant swoosh. A new system, new product, new processes, new ways of doing business, new rules and regulations, new project methodology, new project teams and members, some of them lived across the pond...…literally, and did I add, business transformational! There were some bumps along the way. With all of the ups, downs and turnarounds, the new product was eventually delivered, the system was launched, and the people lived! I was the Project Manager of the “Change” stream, which most saw as a chore, an afterthought or a “nice to have”. WHAAATTT!!   

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance – Alan Watts

People did start to dance eventually. They danced and even sang to the rhythm of change, some holding hands even to the finish line! The venue, the music, the dance steps people followed, were carefully thought out and executed. It started early and was repeated often. The music changed, the steps including the players changed, but, there was always music, there was always a dance and a conductor to lead the group.

To lead significant change, the kind that’s business transformational, one can list several “MUST Dos”. There are books upon books written on how to get people from here to there and in no means am I suggesting my outline of steps below is it or better than what’s out there! Absolutely not!! They were what I observed and felt that worked for me when leading change. I write it in hopes that it will perhaps help you lead change. So, here’s my short list of MUST Dos;

1.

    1. 1111

1.    What will change look like, a.k.a your vision?

 

What will change look like, a.k.a your vision?

I need to envision the beach and the hotel before I even consider taking a vacation there. I am not the backpacker type. I do enjoy my creature comforts and as such, need to envision what it will look like before inertia begins. Added to that, I usually travel with my family and there’s no way of convincing them to come along unless I really believe it. You do have to know what change will look like, what your vision is, so you can paint a picture for your team. Giving them a picture allows them the benefit of envisioning it too.

Create a need and urgency for change!

It would be impossible to move people forward willingly and successfully without defining the why. Unfortunately shoving them forward is NOT an option!! Explain the need and urgency for change and people almost always will follow. Some will even step up and be your change agents who will help you in leading change. There may be several reasons for change; however, staying ALIVE most often is the reason for great and massive change. Make sure you explain that, and it’s clearly understood. Do that successfully, and you will have an eager group ready to help you lead the change.

Get people on board

You need people. You need people on board with you on the train to change. Look for those change agents. They are your hidden gems in getting everyone else excited about change. Most people don’t like change. But you will find a few who don’t like the status quo. They are the ones who thrive on change and chaos. Bring them on board with you first and it will be easier to move everyone else along. Your attitude about change is HUGE. As a change leader, you set the tone for people to follow. If you are hesitant, then no one else will really buy your need for change. Get excited and inspire people into action.

Plan, Do, Check and Act

This is usually applied to quality, but also works when leading change. You must plan how you will execute the transformational change needed. You then execute the change. You check along the way to see if it worked, and then you act on what worked and what didn’t. Do it frequently throughout the process. Change is constant and so is the process of change.

Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

Do it early and do it often. Be direct! You don’t want your message diluted or misconstrued. Use a variety of methods, media and forums to communicate. Communication is not necessarily a memo, email or presentation. Be creative with your communication. Have events, games, town-halls leading up to change. Keep it exciting. Keep them wanting more.  

 “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

Leading change is not easy. You need to live it, believe it, and breathe it, day in and day out. You will need to be a fearless, skilled and strong driver wearing a coat of Teflon. People will need to see the change in you and want to be a part of that change. Your attitude is EVERYTHING!

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

The quote was inspired by Marianne Williamson’s poem; Our Deepest Fear. Thanks David Hain for the history lesson! If you haven’t read the poem yet, I strongly encourage you to read it.

So, what are your thoughts on leading change? What change leadership methods worked for you? What didn’t? Would love to hear your thoughts and ideas……

"When I was young...."

Conversation at the nail salon is always endless. Usually someone becomes a Dr. Phil with a full on audience listening to a panel of venting patrons getting pedicures. The topics flip back and forth between news, politics, Hollywood gossip, travel and kids. It was one of these afternoons that I heard one of my dreaded statements "Oh the kids these days..." The next dreaded statement followed closely behind with "oh when I was young...." When was that?? 50 years ago, or in other words 5 DECADES ago? 50 years ago, the cell phone was not invented, Neil Armstrong had not landed on the moon and John Lennon was still alive! Yes, it's been that long. I for one am quite happy that the kids are not doing the same things we did when we were young. It means we've evolved, changed, moved with the times. "The only thing that is constant is change ~ Heraclitus"

Kids "these" days can do homework, watch TV, snack and text all at the same time with accuracy may I add. They are champions at multi-tasking. They figure out the latest tech tool or social media app the minute it hits the masses. They navigate through a ton of distractions, peer pressure (like we have never experienced and would not want to), the latest trends of dos and don't and rapidly changing social scenarios at school and come out alive. They are navigators, story-tellers, tech gurus, sponges and social media hounds. Thank goodness they are not like us when we were young. They wouldn't last a day in today's school and social jungles if they were!

• Change is good. It's inevitable and constant. Don't get too comfortable, just get ready to move.
• Try not to judge. I say try as it's human nature to do just that. Just try not judge and be open to change and the possibilities of life in 2013. It will not be the same as 19... (I'll let you fill in those blanks).
• Kids "these" days have no room for error. One bad text message or comment can impact their entire life negatively for a very long time. Unfortunately, some of them never recover from it!
• Kids "these" days are just as wonderful as we were. They are just different, just as we were to our parents. It's called the circle of life, aka evolution.

So next time you want to say "oh the kids these days" or "when we were young" stop and think of how long ago that was and the numerous amounts of possibilities, inventions, events that have occurred since then and embrace the way of life today as a result of that history!