You promote what you tolerate

Let that sink in. You promote what you tolerate. Let that sink in again.

I saw that on someone’s t-shirt and that mantra has stuck with me ever since. I am very careful as to what I tolerate.

What are you tolerating?

·       Lack of respect?

·       A toxic environment?

·       Bad behavior?

·       Negativity?

I could keep going on. There are some things I have absolutely no patience for. The above list is an example. I absolutely will NOT tolerate any form of it. Not even a teeny little bit of it. When I recognize it, I walk away and walk away quickly. No further reason needed.

If you cannot change it, then you need to change yourself. That could mean walking away from people or places that do not suit you or go against your core values. Never put up with bad behavior or a toxic culture. Learn to walk away as soon as you can before that becomes your norm or you promote that behavior inadvertently. Remember “you promote what you tolerate”. I have walked away from situations, people and places that do not suit my lifestyle or value system.

So, what happens when you don’t have the luxury of not being able to change the situation and you cannot just walk away?

·       You let your voice heard – Speak up of what you are willing to accept and what you will NOT put up with. Be clear with your expectations. Be clear with why you will not accept it. Be reasonable. Make sure you are not the unreasonable one or the one causing all the stir. 

·       Start planning - You plan your next move. Carefully. You assess what you will do next. You can’t change the past, but you can certainly make calculated moves towards the direction you need to go to next.

·       Get help – I’ve been in conflict situations where I could not change the very unreasonable person I was dealing with. I did try, but I couldn’t change them, not one little bit. So, I got help to change my attitude towards the person and the circumstance. I did eventually plan out my next move. It was too much of a toxic person/environment to ignore and put up with.

Never put up with people or situations that are negative towards your health (including mental health), be guarded with your inner circle and be WELL aware of what you tolerate. You promote what you tolerate.

Savor the little things

It’s summer time. I want to make the most of it. So, when hubby says, “ice cream?” at 11pm, I say “absolutely”. We get to the ice cream store and the lineup is all the way up to the main road. It’s like everyone thought of ice cream at 11pm at night. There are families, young kids, older couples, the place is buzzing. Everyone just out trying to soak up every bit of summer. A small enjoyment like a cone of ice cream was what everyone wanted. Too often we get caught up with the “big” things that we completely miss the little joys in life. These little joys most times become the big things in life. So, savor the moment and soak up every ounce of joy and happiness from all those little moments. Here are some of mine starting with of course;

·       Ice Cream at 11pm on a hot summer night

·       Snap chat conversations with your kids – they are funny and entertaining

·       Coffee early morning on the deck and seeing the busyness of the birds

·       Game nights with the family – it gets heated!

·       The commute in the morning and passing through the Credit River – it’s an even bigger treat seeing the Oarsmen rowing on the water

·       Those Pjs and Pancake days

·       A glass of wine with the hubby in the backyard and the loud drone of Cicadas

·       An impromptu visit from a friend

·       Sunday night dinner with all the family present – a rare treat now when your kids become young adults

·       Long drives - anywhere

·       A dip in the lake on a hot summer day

·       Table topic conversations with the family – you learn so much

·       Antique shopping – I try my best not to get carried away

·       Hot tub time, especially in the Winter

·       Any vacation – big or small. Some of the best ones we’ve had were weekend gateways at Niagara-on-the-Lake

·       Ball games in the summer

·       BBQs and get-togethers with family and friends

·       Happy hours and patios

·       Easy conversations with the kids

The littlest things take up the biggest part of our lives. So, treasure them. Never ever take them for granted. Take them all in…. slowly, appreciating the little treasures in life.