When everyday feels like Groundhog Day

It’s been just over a year now with shutdowns, lock-downs, stay at home orders, grey zones and red zones, and just like most of you, I can’t keep up. Regardless of what colour or lock-down type it is, we’ve pretty much been indoors. Going out for a few drives, dropping off groceries for my daughter who lives an hour away from us and only going out when we must for groceries, and even that, hubby has that covered so I remain mostly indoors. It feels like Groundhog Day every day. One day blending into another into one very long and tiring year. To find some light to things and stay motivated, I’ve been trying to find something new, something to look forward to everyday. It’s hard at times when everyday feels just like the day before but I really do try. It gets me up and looking forward to the day and maybe the event I’m anticipating, however small that maybe.

I’ve listed some of my favourites and yes, they are somewhat in raking order.

·       Leafs games!!

·       Raptor’s games and the Jays – although I still can’t sit through an entire baseball game on tv yet.

·       Long drives by the Lakeshore or anywhere near water.

·       A long walk in nature.

·       New yoga classes.

·       Online seminars and learnings – these have been great to keep up with what others are doing to adapt to this new norm and stretch my learnings.

·       A virtual coffee chats.

·       House party with friends – no not an actual party but an app that’s a bunch of games you play virtually with friends.

·       A good book – this has been something really exciting to look forward to, and I don’t give the ones that don’t resonate with me anymore of my time. I was someone that pushed through to continue reading but not anymore. There are way too many good ones to get to.

·       Duolingo – another app – I’m learning Spanish. I’ve been keeping this up every day. I will be well prepared the next time I travel whenever that is.

·       Planning the next trip. Researching, looking up new destinations, flipping through You Tube videos has me looking forward to the next trip. Definitely not the same as going but planning, plotting and researching is lots of fun. I have three booked and am waiting for the green light to fly.

·       A meal from a local restaurant.

·       A new project.

·       Shutterfly – I spent an entire weekend converting all those old vacation pics into photo books. It was an absolute joy to get the books and go through them.

·       Netflix series – there’s some great ones. It’s nice to look forward to a new episode each day.

·       Explore new ideas and opportunities. Plan them out. Make it happen.

·       Change up a room. We spruced up the principle bedroom with curtains and what a transformation it was.

·       I’m fortunate to be working on a big construction project. There is never a dull moment at work and seems something new happens everyday that never fails to surprise me.

·       Selfcare. So essential, so carve out the time!

·       Declutter – organize! 

·       I hate cooking – but a few times I did make it a point to plan and cook a meal – Moussaka one day and nachos another. It was something to look forward to and everyone enjoyed it. I am yet to plan the next but again…something to look forward to.

These are just a few of my favourites and I am always looking for more ideas. When everyday feels like Groundhog Day, challenge yourself to find something new. Dig deep. What’s new? Tweet me some of your ideas I can try out.

Mindful Leadership

 Mindfulness is being aware of yourself, your feelings and being in the present moment fully. It’s being super focused on the present without judgment. Fully being here in the now. No thoughts of your to-do list, what’s in the past or what’s to come. Not as easy to do specially with all the distractions and “noise” all around. 

We have been trained to multi-task, tackle an endless list of tasks amongst the myriad of distractions. If we can’t juggle, churn results and compete tasks with speed often times we are left with feeling lack and failure. So it’s no wonder we can’t be still, be present and just tune into the present moment. This is exactly what mindfulness is. It’s shutting down that chattering mind and pressing pause, to truly take in what’s happening, what you are feeling and reflecting without judgement of yourself and others. 

So what is mindful leadership? Let’s break it down. Leadership is about empowering, guiding and moving people forward to be better, do better. Mindful leadership is about doing just that in addition to being fully present for yourself and others. Consciously being aware of the present and giving yourself and others your full attention. At times we confuse leadership with getting things done through others. It’s not just getting things done that’s important but HOW it’s done. How it’s delivered and how it’s impacting the people we lead is just as important, if not more. This is where being mindful comes in. Being mindful and truly aware of the present moment, how you are feeling and how those you lead maybe feeling allows you to not only deliver results but also deliver them mindfully, effectively and compassionately, truly empowering others to be and do their best. 

How can we practice more mindful leadership? Here’s a few of my suggestions;

1. Meditation or set aside quiet time - start with a daily habit of setting aside about 10-20 min daily to meditate or sit quietly turning off the mind chatter. Meditation is one of the most effective ways of cultivating mindfulness. It maybe difficult for some to practice quiet meditation at first, so start with small, gradual steps. There’s a ton of apps to help start a good meditation habit. Bringing awareness and focus to your breath - in through the nose, and out through the nose is one of the quickest ways to tune into the present moment and quiet the mind. Start with small moments, with a minute or two and begin to increase it slowly.
2. Pause before you act or react. Next time there’s something tugging your attention, stop, reflect, and then take action. Not everything will be a fight or flight moment. Practicing a pause allows you to be in the present moment, and reflect your best next steps. 
3. Check in with yourself and others you lead regularly. How are you doing? How are you feeling at this present moment? These are some questions you can ask yourself and others that you lead. Give yourself and others that space to answer. LISTEN to the answers without judgement. Being mindful is about being in the present moment and  your feelings with no judgement. Recognizing that there is no good or bad but that it just is. Let it sit. 
4. Hold space - to hold space for someone is truly being present, withholding judgments, and that human tendency to go into solution mode. This is true even for yourself. It’s giving yourself and those you lead the time and space when they are going through a difficult problem to slowly work itself through. 
5. Avoid picking up the phone - set aside time to leave the distractions at bay. Tempting as it maybe to multi-task, just stop. Put down the phone or whatever the other distraction is and focus on just one thing. While multi-tasking maybe an essential skill these days it dilutes the mind of really staying focused and finding that flow. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but find sometime throughout the day to focus on one thing and one thing only. 
6. Exercise - it’s yoga for me. I find an easy linkage between yoga and mindfulness but it maybe something else for you. A run, a walk, or whatever choose, find time to move. Working out the body also works the mind. It’s also a great way to release tension and stress which often gets in the way of being present and being mindful. 

Mindful,leadership is an essential quality in good leadership. You can’t be a good leader without being mindful. Practicing and cultivating mindfulness should be a daily habit. What are some of your suggestions? 

Rest and Relax

 It’s 10 months since COVID times and a new norm established. I’ve been working from home since March and quite frankly it’s been even busier. I’m on my laptop at the start to the very end of the working day and by the time I log out I’m pretty beat. I think at work, there was that natural interruptions, breaks, travel time to meetings and of course the office chatter. I do love working from home. It allows me to sleep in just a little longer and waking up naturally instead of a jarring alarm clock. I don’t have to rush to catch a train to work and back home. Once I’m done my day, I get to shut off and I’m home with my family. Lots of bonuses for sure. It does however, get a bit exhausting. The screen time draining. So in between it all I’ve been doing what I can stay healthy, safe and sane. Yoga helps. So does wine and family. This past few months have been exceptionally busy. So this weekend when someone asked me “so what are your plans this weekend” I didn’t hesitate to answer “rest and relaxation”. It gets too easy to get sucked in to constantly be working, moving and staying busy, we forget that sometimes, we just need rest. Yep, it’s R and R for me and making sure I milk every lethargic habit this weekend;

• watching endless You Tube videos on food and travel. I’ve been watching Sailing Nadji and gosh I so want to buy a sail boat and go sailing around the world. Yosh, Bonita and Marley seem to be on to something right. 
• curling up under a blanket reading my very latest book, The Skin We’re In by Desmond Cole. It’s a tough and sad one so I read a chapter at a time. 
• talking to family. 
• listening to my daughter’s Radio Show at Laurier called the Basement
• shamelessly playing Candy Crush on my phone. 
• hot tubbing it at night.

Nothing too much and nothing too exciting. Just unwinding and coming down from some pretty intense few weeks. 

Always make time for doing nothing. Your brain needs the rest and so do you. 

COVID Diaries

By the time the second week of March rolled around, everyone at work was a buzz preparing for an additional work-from home day from the usual one day a week. Schedules were prepared to coordinate subject matter expertise and coverage to ensure when someone was home, someone else who knew the portfolio was at work. It was a Friday afternoon and the schedule of who’s in and who’s working from home was laid out. I was anxiously awaiting the news of Hamilton – the play I waited for what seemed like years to enjoy, seeing if it was a go or no go. The NBA and the NHL had both suspended all future games with no eminent date of return. All large gatherings cancelled but no news of the Hamilton status yet. I was hoping they would still go ahead with it. Not wanting to wait any longer and have some sort of control I called Mirvish Productions. It was a feat to get through but eventually I did. Most theatre goers that had tickets for that Friday had cancelled or rescheduled the date in fear that it would be cancelled anyway. “It wouldn’t be the same play even if it were on” said the gentleman online. I opted to reschedule as a result and picked a date I thought far enough into the future that this COVID crisis would be a demise. Ha! If only I knew I would have just stuck to the date, hand sanitized like crazy, not touched my face and just witnessed one of the greatest musicals ever.

A week prior to this pandemonium, my husband and I had taken a short vacation to Vegas and boy was that a lot of fun! The airports we took off and landed in were as busy as ever. There were no extra “temperature” check points, everything seemed to be quite the same old, same old, except for a few folks wiping down the airplane seats, tray tables and seat belts with sanitary wipes. We were among these overly cautious. Can’t hurt to be to careful I thought shopping for the extra wipes and hand sanitizers. When we got to Vegas it was a party.

Back to March 13, also known as the Friday before shut-down. We packed up for the day to head home after receiving word that we would all be working from home for the next couple of weeks. It was strange, ominous and how things would progressively change from then to now, no one had a clue. The first work from home week was chaotic, with everyone wanting a teleconference meeting, update, summary and check in on this, that and everything. Quietly though, things settled down when decks were completed on time, summaries submitted, reports handed in and the usual outcomes kept coming in steadily. There was flow. There were results. No one was outside sipping margaritas and goofing off. You must trust your employees to deliver, if not, why have you hired them in the first place. It begins with trust!

COVID has been extremely challenging for some. I recognize that I was among the fortunate few that didn't have to worry about the very basic of necessities like food, clothing and shelter. I didn't have little kids around where I had to work, parent, run a house, teach them and entertain them all during a crisis. I didn't have an elderly family member in long term care that I needed to see or needed my attention. I was well. My family was well. For that I am very grateful. I have learned a ton through this crisis that I'd like to share with you. 

Here goes and I encourage you to jot down your own list of COVID lessons to share;

1. Resilience resides in all of us.
2. Change happens overnight and you can sink or swim with the change. You decide.
3. Good leadership during a crisis is an absolute must.
4. Most “office” jobs can be done from anywhere, any couch, any patio and most times can be done better from home.
5. We don’t need much – not even toilet paper!
6. If you have a roof over your head, food in your fridge and pantry then you do have plenty compared to some.
7. There is joy. There is joy. There is joy. You must open your eyes to see it.
8. In a crisis people will either rise to the occasion or cower in fear. I hope you RISE!
9. Human connection is critical and if it can’t be done face to face then a quick hello, text or call is powerful.
10. Nature MUST be respected. It really did need this time to breathe.
11. Support your local businesses, the small entrepreneur, the mom and pop shop often.
12. Most people are reasonable – except for the ones who stock up on toilet paper.
13. Treasure the simplest things in life – a coffee in the morning sunshine, the chirping of the birds a hug from your daughter after 2 months of isolation.
14. You are NEVER alone. Really.
15. Mental health is part of health and it matters a whole lot.
16. A morning routine brings so much productivity and personal benefits.
17. Everyone should try yoga and meditation. Even 5 min everyday will make a world of difference.
18. We are creative creatures.
19. Live every moment to the fullest.
20. Don’t take the everyday humdrum for granted.
21. Everyone has untapped talent and sometimes needs the time and opportunity to bloom.
22. Do the things you want to do. Stop waiting for the perfect time. There is no such thing.
23. Anytime you can, any way you can, help someone out. This could be EVERYTHING to them.
24. Preparation is key.
25. A long drive can be a great way to decompress.
26. Breathe. It’s a beautiful reminder of how awesome it is to be alive.
27. Spread kindness like sprinkles. You get much more out of it than you give out.
28. Always have a plan B.
29. Cultivating a minimalistic lifestyle will never goes out of style.
30. Hold on to the things that serve you well and let everything else go!

Surrounding areas are slowly moving on to stage 2 now. You can sit on a patio and enjoy some dinner and drinks. We did that last week in Waterloo and what a treat that was. How we take the simplest of things for granted. I will keep looking at this list and update it from time to time. To all the front-line workers in hospitals, at grocery stores, at the pharmacies and the MacDonald’s drive-throughs, a BIG THANK YOU for keeping us all going. There are lots of positives out of this crisis. It’s important for us to recognize that, capture it and hold on to it. We keep learning. And remember always, wash your hands and don’t touch your face. 

One thing off of the Bucket List

I finally signed up for Yoga Teacher Training. After five and something years of wanting to do it, I finally did! I wrote up the application, toured the studio, paid my registration fees and took my 1^st class in a nine-month training course, this past weekend. It was that simple. I had a million and one excuses before…. it was never the right time, there was always too much going on, kids were involved in this that and the other, then it was the kids’ university which is costly, there were the vacations that got in the way, the studios the classes were conducted at seemed hard to get to. Again, excuses and none of them substantial. If I really wanted to do it, I could have but just didn’t get around to doing it. Plain and simple. The “will” was not stronger than all those excuses combined. Finally, though, it was. I signed up, because this time, I REALLY wanted to do it. My intent and will were strong enough to finally commit to getting it done.

The 1^st weekend of the training course is now under my belt. I have nine more weekends and eight more Thursday nights to complete. The 1^st weekend was both exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. My classmates are wonderful, and our teachers are fabulous. The energy around the room, exhausted as we all were, was still very uplifting. Everyone had their own story and reasons for embarking on this journey and they were just as diverse as the group of us. It’s a lot to complete. It’s not going to be easy.  We must all fit in assignment time, regular yoga practice time, study time and training time along with work, family and just regular day to day stuff. Personal goals are never easy to achieve but the harder you work at it and achieve it, the sweeter the reward. Once completed, there will be one less item on my bucket list. I can’t wait.

How many times do we postpone things we really want to do? I am not talking about a loose wish list but something that has substance and real desire to complete like a long-standing bucket list item or a goal in life. This was one of them for me. A million of excuses and challenges certainly will come up. It’s up to us to move past them all. There is no such thing as the right time…. there will always be a bill that needs to be paid, there will always be regular day to day commitments, fitting it in to our already packed days and weeks and months will always be an issue but, nothing that cannot be addressed and overcome. There are ways. Lots of ways to “just do it” (thanks Nike). So, what’s stopping you? Start your list and figure out ways to overcome all those dreaded excuses.

I will leave you with this “Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Namaste!

Life is precious – don’t take it for granted!

It was 9/11 about a week ago and I am reminded how fragile and precious life is.  All those who lost their lives that day, headed out that morning to work, boarded a plane, went out for a walk or started their daily routine not knowing that it was their last. Their lives and the lives of their loved ones altered forever in just a fraction of a moment. Just like that.

I remember when the son of a very good friend of ours died in a boating accident. He was 13! I recall hearing the news stunned in disbelief. He was my son’s hockey team mate. He was out on their family boat on a long weekend in the summer when tragedy struck. I still remember the faces of the family members at the funeral and my son, along with five other team mates walking beside the casket. It hit home. Life is precious. Not a single moment should ever be taken for granted.

That experience taught me a lot.

·        Don’t save things for special occasions

·        If you have something nice to say to someone, say it. Don’t hold back

·        Pursue your dreams – write them down, set goals and keep chipping away at them

·        Every morning is a gift – treat it as such

·        Your family is the most important thing in this world. Never ever take them for granted

·        Appreciate the simple treasures in life

·        Don’t put off things you can accomplish today

·        Cultivate a grateful mindset

·        Never sweat the small stuff – “Let it go” ~ Frozen

·        Appreciate all the beauty around you

·        Live in the moment. Appreciate it. Treasure it. Soak it in

·        LIVE

·        Life is short – buy the shoes, take the trip, eat the cake

·        Know that you CAN make a difference, even in the smallest of ways you can

·        There is no such thing as a perfect time

I could keep going on. We get so caught up with life and the littlest of things at times that we forget to treasure the moment, enjoy the present and really and truly be grateful for the gift we have called life. So, live it. Treasure it. Take it in. Be ever so grateful for the gift of it.    

Own it and turn it into brilliance

Have you ever seen the TV series Ballers? It’s about a “fixer”/ “man Friday” to pro-football players and a series we are hooked on watching right now. Anyway, in one of the episodes the lead character Spencer, tries to patch things up with an old rival player, Balsamo, by having him throw out the first pitch at a baseball game. It’s a huge moment for the retired footballer, Balsamo. As he comes out, the crowd cheers him on and chants his name. It’s a flashback to his glory days. He takes to the pitcher’s mound and swings it hard towards home plate. He completely misses and slams the ball straight into the stomach of the boom-mic guy on the side. The crowd starts booing and someone yells “Balsamo, you suck”. Balsamo utterly butchered his spotlight moment and he stands frozen looking around at the crowd. Instead of cowering back to the stands, he owns the blunder, throws his arms up triumphantly and confidently, egging the crowd to cheer him on. Suddenly, the fans change, and they are back to applauding him and cheering him on. It’s an amazing moment. I remember watching it thinking it’s a wonderful lesson in turning things around. Not everything will go as well as we planned so why not own it and make it a brilliant lesson.

Sure, some lessons will be humbling, very humbling and we should not or may not have the opportunity to celebrate it, like catastrophes (I won’t go into detailed examples, but you can imagine what they are). These may not be the moments we throw our arms up in the air and ask for more applause, but there are lessons we can learn. We just take them in quietly, reflecting on them with care and grace.

For the most part though mistakes are just that, mistakes. We seem to give them too much negative energy, rather than spinning them into something good and something valuable to learn from. Here’s my two cents….

·        Own it – You made the mistake, take ownership. Accept, apologize and move on.

·        Fix it – It’s yours to fix, so fix it. Figure out a way to make amends, make it better and turn it around so there’s some good that comes out of it.

·        Learn from it – Mistakes have a way of repeating themselves if you don’t learn from them the first time. Funnily enough, that’s how life works. So, learn from it, preferable the first time and not the second- or third-time round.  

·        Pay it forward – If someone’s made the same mistake, help them and support them through it. 

·        Reflect – How do you do better? How can you avoid this again? What went wrong? Reflection is key for self-growth. Careful that you don’t go down the “woah is me” path. Stay above the fray. Stay classy.

·        Turn it into brilliance – Mistakes are sometimes opportunities in the making. Penicillin and the chocolate chip cookie were discovered because Sir Alexander Fleming and Ruth Wakefield made mistakes. You may not be inventing the next Penicillin but who knows, there maybe a golden opportunity you maybe missing. Look closely. 

I just finished reading the book, #Girlboss, the rags to riches story of Sophia Amoruso who founded “Nasty Gal”, the fastest growing retailer in 2012 according to Inc Magazine. There’s a line in the book that I love…. I quote; “My advice to #GIRLBOSSes is to get excited about the mistakes you’ll make”. So, here’s to the fictional Balsamo’s and the non-fictional Sophia Amoruso’s who embraced their mistakes and turned them into brilliance. It’s time we do the same!