Your Excitement Can Move People to Change!

The only constant and inevitable thing is change. You can be assured that just when things settle down, they will change soon enough. So, don’t get too comfortable!

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often – Winston Churchill

The last project I completed involved an implementation of a brand-new investment product and a new Customer Relationship Management system. The word around the water cooler was that it was the “project from hell”. There were times mid-project that I too believed it. Murphy certainly poked his head not once, not twice but several times during the 3+ year span of the project. It was essentially a strategic initiative (somehow initiative sounds too light of a word) that summed all the changes that the company had ever gone through and delivered it in one giant swoosh. A new system, new product, new processes, new ways of doing business, new rules and regulations, new project methodology, new project teams and members, some of them lived across the pond...…literally, and did I add, business transformational! There were some bumps along the way. With all of the ups, downs and turnarounds, the new product was eventually delivered, the system was launched, and the people lived! I was the Project Manager of the “Change” stream, which most saw as a chore, an afterthought or a “nice to have”. WHAAATTT!!   

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance – Alan Watts

People did start to dance eventually. They danced and even sang to the rhythm of change, some holding hands even to the finish line! The venue, the music, the dance steps people followed, were carefully thought out and executed. It started early and was repeated often. The music changed, the steps including the players changed, but, there was always music, there was always a dance and a conductor to lead the group.

To lead significant change, the kind that’s business transformational, one can list several “MUST Dos”. There are books upon books written on how to get people from here to there and in no means am I suggesting my outline of steps below is it or better than what’s out there! Absolutely not!! They were what I observed and felt that worked for me when leading change. I write it in hopes that it will perhaps help you lead change. So, here’s my short list of MUST Dos;

1.

    1. 1111

1.    What will change look like, a.k.a your vision?

 

What will change look like, a.k.a your vision?

I need to envision the beach and the hotel before I even consider taking a vacation there. I am not the backpacker type. I do enjoy my creature comforts and as such, need to envision what it will look like before inertia begins. Added to that, I usually travel with my family and there’s no way of convincing them to come along unless I really believe it. You do have to know what change will look like, what your vision is, so you can paint a picture for your team. Giving them a picture allows them the benefit of envisioning it too.

Create a need and urgency for change!

It would be impossible to move people forward willingly and successfully without defining the why. Unfortunately shoving them forward is NOT an option!! Explain the need and urgency for change and people almost always will follow. Some will even step up and be your change agents who will help you in leading change. There may be several reasons for change; however, staying ALIVE most often is the reason for great and massive change. Make sure you explain that, and it’s clearly understood. Do that successfully, and you will have an eager group ready to help you lead the change.

Get people on board

You need people. You need people on board with you on the train to change. Look for those change agents. They are your hidden gems in getting everyone else excited about change. Most people don’t like change. But you will find a few who don’t like the status quo. They are the ones who thrive on change and chaos. Bring them on board with you first and it will be easier to move everyone else along. Your attitude about change is HUGE. As a change leader, you set the tone for people to follow. If you are hesitant, then no one else will really buy your need for change. Get excited and inspire people into action.

Plan, Do, Check and Act

This is usually applied to quality, but also works when leading change. You must plan how you will execute the transformational change needed. You then execute the change. You check along the way to see if it worked, and then you act on what worked and what didn’t. Do it frequently throughout the process. Change is constant and so is the process of change.

Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

Do it early and do it often. Be direct! You don’t want your message diluted or misconstrued. Use a variety of methods, media and forums to communicate. Communication is not necessarily a memo, email or presentation. Be creative with your communication. Have events, games, town-halls leading up to change. Keep it exciting. Keep them wanting more.  

 “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

Leading change is not easy. You need to live it, believe it, and breathe it, day in and day out. You will need to be a fearless, skilled and strong driver wearing a coat of Teflon. People will need to see the change in you and want to be a part of that change. Your attitude is EVERYTHING!

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

The quote was inspired by Marianne Williamson’s poem; Our Deepest Fear. Thanks David Hain for the history lesson! If you haven’t read the poem yet, I strongly encourage you to read it.

So, what are your thoughts on leading change? What change leadership methods worked for you? What didn’t? Would love to hear your thoughts and ideas……

Yep, I have a horn of plenty!

Cornucopia; commonly seen around Thanksgiving time, is a symbol of abundance, plenty, fruit, nourishment and colour. It was around the Canadian tables, mid-October, and will show off its’ autumn hues again on the American tables, end of November. Coming from an Asian country I knew nothing of its’ symbolism and existence until I settled in Canada. It is a great reminder of things to be thankful for, the one day of the year. If only it permanently stays the full 365 days of the year and 366 days every leap year!! Would it then help us remember the abundance in our lives? The things we take for granted daily? The little things we should be thankful for that others may not have the privilege to experience or have?

Alli Polin reminded me of this with her blog on “Ditch the Stress; Choose Gratitude” If you haven’t read it yet I highly recommend you do. I did, which inspired this post on being thankful and here is my list of things I am VERY thankful for;

1. My Husband, Son and Daughter…yes that’s three but they are all #1 on my list and the reason for ALL I do and am.
2. My Dad, Mom, Sister and Brother (I hate the word brother in law) in Texas, who know, that even though I don’t say it often, I love them with all my heart.
3. Wonderful, crazy, fun and awesome friends. They keep me young and happy.
4. My God. My faith!
5. I am thankful for the roof over my head. I see people on my daily commute who live under a bridge in Toronto. They are people just like you and me, but some circumstance in life got them there. Don’t judge!!
6. My country. Yes, even in winter I love it!
7. My job, which I don’t consider a job. It’s my opportunity to serve.
8. Good health.
9. My church community.
10. Social media and the amazing people I connect through it. They inspire me daily on my commute to work and back home. Also, without it, I wouldn’t be writing this post.
11. My online communities; #LeadWithGiants, #LeadFromWithin and #HRockstars. They keep me learning and motivated.
12. The honourable men and women that serve to protect us and our freedoms.
13. Shoes and handbags…. thank you sister for making me appreciate them!
14. Hockey games, specially my son’s! It keeps my vocal cords strong.
15. My daughter’s Cheerleading. It keeps us traveling often.
16. The Canadian Mental Health Association, Peel and the Board members I serve with. They have given me an opportunity to do something good.
17. Music…. all kinds of music.
18. Good food.
19. A seat on the GO train. It’s a precious thing in the morning.
20. The great times I have with my family.
21. Board games which happens to also contribute to #18.
22. Good movies. Gladiator is #1 on my list of faves.
23. Joe, the paper man near the subway, who always smiles and says good morning to everyone bustling by. I wish more people would smile back at the very least!
24. My life, just the way it is!
25. Swimming. It has taught me a TON. I now miss those grueling days dearly.
26. Family vacations.
27. Lilly at Tim Horton’s. She always serves me my coffee with a GIANT smile.
28. Tim Horton’s coffee. It’s certainly not the best but gives me comfort.
29. I am thankful for YOU, for reading this.
30. My family as a whole. They’ve shaped me and continue to do so everyday!

Thanks again for reading! I hope it has inspired you and was worth your time. Do jot down your list of things you are thankful for. I did! Thanks, Alli Polin for that inspiration!

Chance connections aren’t really by chance, they are meant to be!

“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous” – Albert Einstein

Last Thursday I was walking down Yonge Street in Toronto heading for an 11am meeting when I ran into a throng, quite a large throng I may add, of business men and women all suited up with clip boards in hand walking to who knows where. I was wandering what the big occasion was…. was it a tour group, real estate agents checking out the new condos being built, a convention going on I didn’t know about? I happened to walk along-side a lady that was part of the throng and started up a conversation.  We exchanged the usual pleasantries, talked about how great that it wasn’t raining and continued walking along the street. I found out the “throng” had just come out of a company meeting and that she was working on several projects. I asked her how the project was going and what her role in the project was. “Funny” I said to her “I am in fact a project manager.  I know just how it feels working on a challenging project”. Projects, project teams, deliverables, milestones…. kind of language are near and dear to me. She asked me where I work, to which I responded, “I am in transition and looking for my next opportunity”. She then excitedly suggested I run up two blocks to the head of the throng, to meet with the recruiting manager. Not an easy feat in heals and a tight skirt in the heart of busy Yonge Street sandwiched with people beside and ahead of you. Thanks, but no thanks!! I gave her my business card, asked her to pass it along to the recruiting manager and asked her to keep in touch. The latter being the most important. I love meeting people, building relationships and maintaining those relationships. Some of those relationships have become some of my closest friends, trusted advisers and one of those relationships, ended up my husband! So, I don’t take chance meetings lightly in the least bit.

The next day I had an email waiting for me from my newly found friend letting me know that she’s passed my information over to her recruiter. I then got a call later that day, from the recruiting manager himself discussing the future opportunities, company culture, and turns out, he happened to know three of my former bosses that I loved working with! It’s a small world after all!

I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe that things certainly happen for a reason. I believe that chance meetings grow into infectious connections. In a time where we are inundated with noise, information, throngs of people and just our day to day busy lives, it’s so important to connect, be it short and so called “coincidental”. These connections will eventual grow, become infectious, help tie our talents and ideas and ultimately bring us closer to helping each other out. Next time you are walking next to someone, make sure you walk with them, take a moment to say hello and be open to the wondrous possibilities!

You learnt Networking in Kindergarten…. You just need to bring it out!

I have been silent for a while and was wondering what to blog about. I started on a post only to switch gears to talk about…. networking. Since of late I have been attending a lot of self awareness and entrepreneurial workshops. One of the workshops was on self branding and networking. As I sat eager to absorb all what was in store, I looked around the room, observing everyone’s reaction to the speaker. About half the room was wide eyed and bushy tailed, the other half nervously shifted, looking around the floor and at everyone but the speaker. The information was an easy digest for those wide eyed bushy tailed folks, but quite extreme for the other half. I heard one say “I am not in sales, it’s just not for me”. Hmm, don’t we sell something at some point in our illustrious lives? Didn’t we all have to sell chocolates or raffle tickets for our school club or sports team? Didn’t we have to sell our parents on the latest video game, toy, gear or social event we ABSOLUTELY needed? For those of us parents, haven’t we sold our kids on programs, books and lessons that were CRITICAL to their development and growth? “It’ll be lots of fun” I’d say making sure my tone and excitement matched the desired outcome. I digress….. back to NETWORKING.

First what is networking? It’s building and maintaining relationships. It’s making new friends and keeping the “old” ones. Networking is vital to starting and maintaining a business, to gaining satisfactory employment and contributing to your community and society. It started in kindergarten and that we do it everyday without us even realizing it. My hope is that we recognize it, do it with intent, be authentic and don’t focus on getting but also giving in return. The bolded words need the most focus. Focus on the giving and it will be a pleasure to network, any time and anywhere. Be authentic and it will feel smooth as butter. So, here’s what we ALL learned in kindergarten that will help us network and be better relationship builders! 

• Ask your friends if they want to play. Then ask your friends to bring their friends to play next time. Soon you will be playing with your newly found friends and all you had to do was just be introduced. Haven’t we done that playing in the sandbox? You invite your good friend Jenny, then she invites her friend Sammy and soon you and Sammy are hanging out. The same goes with relationships today. Connect with your friendly circle, who will then introduce you to their friendly circle and before you know it you have a bigger friendly circle to play with.

• Share your toys! Sharing is caring and it’s never fun to play alone. You have talents, stories, ideas, skills, experiences and passion, which are your grown-up toys. Share them and share them willingly with people. You never know when you will be called upon to share them. Your passion and willingness are key! Share them grudgingly and my guess is that you will be enjoying your toys all by yourself. Share them willingly and passionately and you will be sharing a whole lot!

• Ask questions! We stopped asking loads of questions somewhere between kindergarten and high school, not sure why. Go back to kindergarten and be child-like in your questioning. Ask them what they do, what they like about it and what they don’t. Ask them what “toys” they have and share with them the “toys” you have. Didn’t we all do that? “I have a school house with a bell on it at home we can play with, what do you have?”

• Be nice! Be yourself and Smile! Yes that’s 3 bullets wrapped into one. 

As I end this know that I am smiling. I am myself and dare I say most times I am NICE! Happy networking all! 

A 4 year old teacher? You bet!

Taking the GO train home, the other day, we were all treated to the antics of an excited 4 year old. He dazzled and entertained and left everyone on the train hanging on for more. When it was his turn to get off were all bidding goodbye like good old friends. The train ride afterwards was somber and quiet, with everyone back on their mobile devices and newspapers.

Four year olds aren't just cute and talkative. They do have valuable lessons we can take away. Next time you meet a 4 year old pick out what you learn.

1. Be enthusiastic! It is that simple. Approach each day like it's a gift to be treasured and enjoyed thoroughly. Revel in the "newness" around you. Absorb your surroundings and be excited that you are privileged to be a part of it. Unfortunately, some others may not have this opportunity, but you do. Value it and be excited about it. It's not JUST a train ride. It's a mesmerizing ride with lots of sights to see and lots of people to meet. Make it count!

2. Make friends along the way. It's no fun going anywhere all by yourself. Even if you are a loner, at times you will need to make friends to get to where you want to go. Be friendly, be kind and don't forget to SMILE.

3. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Since when does everyone know everything? Be humble and don't forget to ask for help or ask how things work if you don't know. People are usually very happy to help, and it makes them feel wanted. Give them that benefit. Ask for help when you need to.

4. Wow your audience. Our little 4 year old friend on the train kept us engaged, kept us wanting for more of his simple little antics. We need to do the same. Leave an impression with those you meet. Make a difference. Leave your audience hanging for more.

When you meet a 4 year old next time, don't forget to listen and observe intently for another lesson we can learn. When you do, send me a message so I can add it to the list!

Let there be light....

On July 8th, 2013, due to heavy rain and flash floods we did not have power for 4.5 hours in Mississauga. No TV, radio, lights or cordless phones! We stood outside the house mingling with neighbours who said there were heavy rains and floods in Toronto which is about 15-20 minutes away from us. It was barely a drizzle where we were. We hurried around the house before it got dark looking for candles and flashlights. After about an hour with no power we were conserving our cell phones just in case. It seemed like a repeat of the brownout in 2003. We didn't have power for about 8+ hours as I remember. Our family of 4 sat around the living room playing a game of phase 10. We stopped after it got too dark and we couldn't tell the difference between the green and blue cards. Everything was so dark and quiet! There was no conversation, just silence as we watched the candles flicker back and forth. Every now and then someone got up and tried switching on a light to a room just out of habit. How we take the little luxuries in life for granted! No electricity and/or no water is the norm amongst most of the world. Rolling blackouts is how some countries conserve electricity. I am so thankful I live in a country where I flick on the switch and there is light. "For how long?" some people say.... I do hope for a very long time. We snuck in a few surfs on the internet and heard of a GO train being stuck in water and people needing to be rescued. About 2 hours in darkness and silence we had power! A flurry of activity ensued with everyone setting their digital clock radios and getting back on the internet for more updates.

It was only the day after that we would really comprehend the extent of water, damage and drama that occurred the day before. There were pictures upon pictures of people wading in the water, using their canoes, cars immersed in water, the GO train rescue and even a snake on the train...yuck! I had to travel on the GO 2 days later and yes I was looking around and did not let my legs rest on the ground for too long.

• We so take our little luxuries for granted. Thank goodness for hot water, internet, phones and light. We didn't learn our lesson last brownout, but we are getting us some old fashioned phones.... the kind you plug in.
• I do enjoy occupying one room in the house with my family, sitting in silence with nothing but a few candles flickering for light. It's simple and just bliss.
• It's always good to be prepared. I am not sure how prepared we would have been had we had no power for longer. I refuse to be one of those doomsday "preppers" but it's something to think about.

I do hope we have no rolling power outages or big blackouts and brownouts. I am a wimp and do need my power and yes, hot water too. I am not sure how long we will last without it. Our blackout did remind me to be very thankful of our little luxuries! It also made me think of how we will be ready if we have an outage for longer...I hope I won't ever have to find out!!

"When I was young...."

Conversation at the nail salon is always endless. Usually someone becomes a Dr. Phil with a full on audience listening to a panel of venting patrons getting pedicures. The topics flip back and forth between news, politics, Hollywood gossip, travel and kids. It was one of these afternoons that I heard one of my dreaded statements "Oh the kids these days..." The next dreaded statement followed closely behind with "oh when I was young...." When was that?? 50 years ago, or in other words 5 DECADES ago? 50 years ago, the cell phone was not invented, Neil Armstrong had not landed on the moon and John Lennon was still alive! Yes, it's been that long. I for one am quite happy that the kids are not doing the same things we did when we were young. It means we've evolved, changed, moved with the times. "The only thing that is constant is change ~ Heraclitus"

Kids "these" days can do homework, watch TV, snack and text all at the same time with accuracy may I add. They are champions at multi-tasking. They figure out the latest tech tool or social media app the minute it hits the masses. They navigate through a ton of distractions, peer pressure (like we have never experienced and would not want to), the latest trends of dos and don't and rapidly changing social scenarios at school and come out alive. They are navigators, story-tellers, tech gurus, sponges and social media hounds. Thank goodness they are not like us when we were young. They wouldn't last a day in today's school and social jungles if they were!

• Change is good. It's inevitable and constant. Don't get too comfortable, just get ready to move.
• Try not to judge. I say try as it's human nature to do just that. Just try not judge and be open to change and the possibilities of life in 2013. It will not be the same as 19... (I'll let you fill in those blanks).
• Kids "these" days have no room for error. One bad text message or comment can impact their entire life negatively for a very long time. Unfortunately, some of them never recover from it!
• Kids "these" days are just as wonderful as we were. They are just different, just as we were to our parents. It's called the circle of life, aka evolution.

So next time you want to say "oh the kids these days" or "when we were young" stop and think of how long ago that was and the numerous amounts of possibilities, inventions, events that have occurred since then and embrace the way of life today as a result of that history!

Pick those Dandelions!

Once early Spring finally showed its’ face, it brought along with it the uninvited Dandelions! Of course, when they showed up, they were little, pretty and all dressed up in yellow. It did look quite the inviting sight…. bright and yellow, scattered all over the green lawn. It gave the garden colour and what looked like at that time some character. It was a joke around our friends as to how colourful and scenic our lawn looked. Cutting the grass or weeding them out, was not an option. They grew quite quickly in numbers. Five became seven, and then became fifteen and twenty until they were far too many to count. They took over the lawn like aliens. The only green visible, were the Dandelion leaves! The colourful exuberance didn’t last long. The pretty yellow bed of flowers turned into dirty, white, bulbous, fluffy, “wish” like things that kids love to blow. And once they were blown, kept spreading like forest fire in Australia!

“Help pick those weeds” I commanded my kids! The whole family on hands and knees, digging and pulling off the earth along with its earth worms. @$#*!! Why did we not start picking the Dandelions when they first showed up? Why did we let it take over? What looked like a calm and unassuming lawn looked like a dead battlefield. We (I say we as a team but there may have been a few that stood out more than others) picked, prodded, sodded new grass, fertilized and pruned the lawn. The process was repeated like shampoo. Finally, after much toiling we got back our green lawn. Now, at the first sight of a pretty, yellow, Dandelion we swoop down to nip it in the bud. The conspicuous weed has no chance of planting roots or laying down foundation. If you have weeds, may I suggest you do the same!

·       Do take care of your lawn. Seed it, water it, and fertilize it. Take REAL good care of it. This is your asset and you want to keep it that way.

·        Do you have weeds in your lawn? Nip them in the bud before it’s too late. They may seem quite innocent at first but before you know it they turn into horrendous looking things. Quite the opposite of what they looked like when they first showed up.

·      You may need an army to address the weeds. Don’t be shy just ask for help. Ask and you shall receive.

P.S This really isn’t about my lawn or the dandelions that became ugly weeds that took over my lawn. Although it is a true story! Are you taking good care of your lawn? I do hope you are. And if you do have weeds that show up, as cute and innocent little characteristics and habits I do hope you address them quickly before they take over!

 

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming - Dory

At 6 years old I wouldn’t say it was fun waking up at the wee hours of the morning while everyone else slept in. It was barely light out and too early even for the birds and the rooster. Yet I woke up, dragged myself out of bed, barely knew what I was eating, got dressed and headed off to the pool. Once there, I breathed in the early morning air, cool breeze and the delicious smell of chlorine. The pool was serene and blue. Untouched! I looked forward to being the first to plunge in. Contrary to popular belief, warm weather climate pool water was always cold in the morning! After practice it was a quick shower and off to school, eyes tearing from the chlorine I could barely see the blackboard and take down notes. I did that for 13 straight years. Oh yes and twice a day…. Only in the afternoon you weren’t waking up early. You just go straight from school to home for lunch and homework and then back again in the pool. Thirteen straight years of two a day that became three a day training sessions closer to international competitions.

Ask me if I have watched more than 5 episodes of Beverly Hills 90210. The answer would be no. I couldn’t fully participate in school yard convo of the latest gossip, tv shows or school friend hangouts. I was swimming. I think I surprised my principal I didn’t turn into a fish as she so anticipated. I was often excused from being late to school, leaving early from school because of swim practices and meets. And yes, I so looked forward to those swim meets. Excited to see like-minded friends, show off the new swim suit, butterflies in tummy awaiting my next race. The flurry and activity all ended in one big award ceremony and party afterwards where I would be pushed back into the pool along with my fellow friends, clothes and all because of our winnings.                                                                                                                 

It certainly was time to hang up my suit after 13 years. It was tiresome, my back was injured, and I wanted to enjoy the same privileges as every other nineteen year old. Looking back now however, I miss those days. Swimming took 19 tiresome years but left me with so much more. Here’s some of what I carry with me today;

·         Your parents deserve those medals and trophies as much as you do. For 13 years I did not know what it was like to sleep in. Well neither did my parents! My mom got up even earlier to make breakfast and make sure I was out the house in time for practice with my dad. Maybe this is the reason I didn’t sway my kids away from hockey and cheer. I don’t have it in me to wake up at 4:30am anymore. My parents however did. I owe the success of my entire swimming career to them. A thank you doesn’t seem enough!

·         Practices count but the race counts even more. It doesn’t matter how hard you practice or prepare yourself, what matters most is the race. Make sure you are prepared when it really counts. Not being ready will cost you second place.

·         It taught me to be effective and efficient. Juggling swimming with school, homework, school exams and even French classes outside of school taught me to make the most of each minute. I paid real close attention when the teacher spoke, worked ahead of schedule at home, did homework on the bleachers while waiting for training to start. I did what it took to get my work done. Efficiency and Effectiveness became my best friends.

·         It taught me dedication and determination. I was determined to be the best when I wasn’t picked to be on the school relay team when I was 8. I tirelessly dedicated all my efforts, so I would be the first one picked. It paid off. Dedication and determination became my next best friends.

·         I learned camaraderie and I learned to have fun. My competition became my worst enemy in the pool and became my best friend on land. We would not talk to each other just before the race but no matter what the outcome, we rejoiced. At times, we may have been disappointed at the result, but were genuinely happy for victor. We pushed, we motivated, and we encouraged each other at practice to give our best. Most importantly we had fun!

 

Swimming taught me a ton. Whether you want to swim or not, I encourage you to pick up a sport or an activity that challenges you, draws the best out of you, gives you back so much more than you expected and lets you have a blast doing it. For me that was swimming.

No regrets!

Regret is the past, crippling us in the present - unknown

.... And when you do look back you are turning your back to the future!

Have no regrets. Easier said than done. Every now and then it's easy to let your mind wonder to question the "what if's". What if I started earlier? what if I took the other course? what if I just waited instead of surging ahead? what if I said no? what if I said yes? I could go on for days and we all have them. The trick is to not go there. The "what if" really doesn't matter. It's irrelevant to now and to where you are. Ever seen the movie Click? Do go check it out if you haven't already. Well we don't all have a clicker to rewind or fast forward through life. According to the movie that wasn't the best thing to have anyway! What we do have is a gift called the present. To make full use of it we need to treasure today and let go of yesterday. Rather than reminiscing yesterday and the endless list of possibilities that were never meant to be, change tomorrow by doing something different today. If it's not the outcome you expected, then it was not meant to be.... move on.

Here's my dish:

• Looking back, there will always be things that you could have done better. You cannot go back and change what you did so why bother wasting your time thinking about the possible outcomes. Learn from your so called mistakes and move on to new ones. However, IMO (if you don't know, ask a teenager ;) there are no mistakes, only learning opportunities. I hope you have a ton of learning opportunities. They will enrich you.
• Make full use of the present. Instead of looking at the past missed opportunities, look at the present and make wise choices of what tomorrow will look like. You cannot control the outcome, but you can try. I urge you to try, try and try again.
• We don't regret the things we do. We usually regret the things we don't. So if you have some burning desire to do something, just do it! (thanks Nike! I couldn't have put it better)
• Do remember the memorable moments of the past but only briefly. Once you smile remembering those precious moments, it's time to move on and seize TODAY! 

PJs and Pancakes

I love doing things with my family. Whether it's a drive, a mini vacation, playing board games, vegging out and watching re-runs of Modern Family....I love doing them all. Some are more special than others and some more memorable. It's not the big events but casual, non-rushed long weekends where nothing's planned but something happens that's most special. It's our PJ's and pancakes moments.

I am very much into eating non-gmo food now. I read every label, check it against my "dump-it" list and as a result, regular grocery shopping is now an event all on its own. So instead of the Aunt Jemima (I think I spelled that correctly) pancake mix, it's the wheat free, non-gmo, organic kamut pancake mix that gets added to the cart. My daughter welcomes it with open arms. My son and husband on the other hand are a much harder sell. I mix the batter with bananas or strawberries hoping its fresh, raw taste is cleverly disguised. It works most of the time.

A lazy Saturday morning starts off with some delegation to get all the ingredients and equipment ready for a late pancake breakfast. The rest of the sleepy-heads (usually my son) wakes up to the aroma of pancakes and bananas. He asks me what batter I used to which I instantly I respond...."the normal one"!! I suspect he thinks normal is the regular wheat and corn starch filled batter, found at regular grocery stores, but I'm not going to tell him otherwise. We each find our Saturday morning spots in the family room and dig in! Saturday morning quickly turns into Saturday afternoon and then the flurry of activity starts off and everyone's off doing their thing. Hmm....

I've learned that;

• Pancakes come in several shapes, sizes and expertise. You don't have to be an expert at it to wow your family. They love what you make anyway if it's disguised the way they like it.
• The aroma of pancakes on a Saturday is special. It reminds you of coziness, warmth, good maple syrup and family.
• Pretty much anyone can make pancakes without ruining them.
• Pancakes are best eaten with family.
• I've learned that I love the big events, the fan fare, the travels but I love the PJ's and pancake moments even more!

Go have your PJ's and pancakes moment!

Grudges are like little cancerous cells that eat at you slowly

Ever had a grudge with anyone? Please contact me if your answer is no. I would like to talk to you. We've all had a grudge with someone at some point or another. They may have said the wrong thing, rubbed you the wrong way or done something quite unforgivable. Your grudge may start with annoyance, to dislike, to a negative feeling that just doesn't go away. Like the little acorn that grows into an oak, this tiny little grudge grows into something quite large that can't be shaken off that easily. Before you know it, your little grudge has made shelter and turned its tiny spot into a full blown warehouse with underground parking and all.

The sad fact is that this grudge can eat away at you like a cancerous tumour. Your mood changes, you feel irksome, you are short tempered, you feel sick and are not yourself. It keeps chipping away at you until it gets the most of you.

I have learned to let my grudges go. I flick them away like a stray piece of bread crumb at a picnic table. Forgive and forget they say, and if you cannot forgive then move on! It doesn't deserve an ounce of your thought or time for that matter so don't give it that precedence. You just end up feeding the little tumour.

• Let grudges go. They don't deserve the attention they usually get!
• Do forgive and forget. Life is way too short to be annoyed at anyone or anything for too long. It does feel good to forgive and if you really can't do that then just move on. Don't give it a second thought. Not ever.
• Ask yourself if it's really that important. Most times it's not. So, get off of that petty chair and patch things up.
• Grudge rhymes with sludge. They also mean about the same thing, with the difference being one's internal (and it's not sludge!!)
• Be free! Live free! It's never fun carrying a lot of baggage.

Lessons learned from Fifi - always wear good shoes!

Fifi, aka my sister always wore good shoes. It was hilarious to see her strutting around the house when she was little with her long skinny legs and mom's heels. This was a normal occurrence, hence the name Fifi. It suited her to a tee. It's funny how that personality carried through to adult hood. No matter what the circumstance or occasion, you will always see her in a "much to be envied" pair of shoes.

Flip flops were my mode of footwear. I wore it to the pool, the mall and even to parties. I wore it with pride and didn't care what anyone had to say or think. As time went by and with much egging on by Fifi, I did see the benefits of her colourful stilettos. It livened any mood, made you feel great and you really did look like a million bucks wearing them. So instead of a wardrobe full of colourful rubber flip flops, I am now the proud owner of a variety of colourful wedges, espadrilles, pumps, peep toes, sling back, booties and boots. It's become a passion to shop for shoes. The bolder and brighter the better. I still have my trusted flip flops in black and brown. They do bring me joy when I wear them now and then. But to feel like I'm strutting the catwalk I need to pull out the "Fifi" shoes. Thanks, Fifi for not giving up on me and expanding my shoe vocabulary!

• Whether you are a guy or gal, wear good shoes. People do take notice.
• You don't get dirty looks walking into stores when you have great shoes on. You do if you don't.
• When you feel under the weather, put on a pair of fancy shoes. They liven you up instantly.
• A boring outfit can be brought to life with a pair of cool shoes.
• "A shoe has so much more to offer than just to walk" ~ Christian Louboutin. "One day I will own one of these Red Soles!" ~ Tehani Mott

Don't be a wallflower...not ever!

Here's what Wikipedia defines as a "wallflower"..."In social situations, a wallflower is a shy or unpopular individual who doesn't socialize or participate in activities at social events. He or she may have other talents but usually does not express them in the presence of other individuals"

Of course everyone has talents. Some genuinely have more than others and some may think they have talent in some area but who will let them know otherwise? In any event everyone has some sort of talent... be it singing, dancing, entertaining, cooking, leading people, motivating them, the list can go on. If you have not yet figured out what your talent is, then find it. You have something that you do better than anyone else, that is unique to you. Find it and share it as it serves no purpose keeping it hidden! That's why I say, "don't be a wallflower"!

There maybe times where being a wallflower may serve its purpose. Unless you are a secret service agent, the moments of appropriately being a wallflower are few and far between. They also should be brief whenever present. Personally, I think it's selfish to have a talent and not share it with the world. I don't mean the "world" literally but what I mean is those around you. Those that can benefit and enjoy the talent you have. Your community, school, work place, your friends and family. Don't be a wallflower! It's selfish in my books and not to be tolerated.

• Never be afraid to share your talents. Not only will it enrich you but it may also enrich someone else.
• Participate. Just being present and taking up space is not good enough. There's plenty of "space takers" in a growing world, don't be one of them or one of those things! Even big space takers like rocks offer up a purpose. They can be collected, admired or climbed.
• Know what you are good at. If you don't know, try finding it. The journey you take to find it will improve yourself and grace others. Even singing off key starts laughter in the room.
• Unless you are in a library or at the theatre being a quiet participant is not an option. You don't have to be loud, but you do have to be involved. See bullet #2 again.
• Step out. Enjoy life. Participate. Share your ideas and talents with others. You are here in this world for a reason. Fulfill it, or at least try to!

Don't get sucked in!

Is it just me or is there that much more negativity around us these days? Conversation seems to be that of bitching, complaining or whining about someone or something. It weighs you down, leaving you feeling heavy and miserable.

Can you spot the negative Nellies? No matter what the circumstance they always have something negative to say or complain about. Nothing is ever satisfactory or good enough. Something bad is ALWAYS happening to them and they can't help but complain about life incessantly.

Just as you can spot the negative Nelly, so can you pick out the positive Pollies or Petes as some would say. It's refreshing to be around them. They are the folks that choose to make the best of things. They look on the bright side of life. They leave you feeling good and happy. They leave you with a smile.

I am drawn to positive Pollies. Maybe because I am a positive Polly myself. We all have our off days but for the most part you are either a negative Nelly or a positive Polly. Which one will you choose to be?

• Stay positive.... don't get sucked in to the negativity. Move away or change the topic. Misery loves company and you don't have to be the company they seek.
• Be the light everyone draws towards.
• Don't take life seriously. Whatever negative circumstance you are going through there is someone who's going through much worse.
• Choose how you react to every situation. You do have the choice of being negative or turning it into a positive one. 
• Be selective. You do become the company you keep.
• Don't get sucked in! Life is way too short to be bitching and complaining or to be miserable for that matter.

What I learned on our family travels....

Apart from having oodles of fun and good times here's some of the things I learned along the way of our family travels;

• Not all highways will lead to where you want to go! They don't all connect. You really must figure out which highway takes you where you want to go. Just travelling endlessly hoping you get there doesn't really work. You end up taking the back roads the opposite direction!
• If you don't have enough toll money, talking to the camera and saying "we will pay by mail" will get you no where. Eventually it catches up and a .50c toll becomes a $15 toll. Could have been worse.... perhaps jail for not paying. Make sure you have change on you at all times on a toll road!!
• Looking for the perfect spot at the ski-chalet to sit and watch the kids at their ski lesson may end up taking all the time allotted for the lesson!! By the time you find the spot, drop down the pile the size of Everest coats, hats and gloves...the ski lesson is over. The kids are waving at you to come get them. You end up picking up the Everest sized coats, hats and gloves and sauntering off to get them.... aarrrrgh!
• Pay attention to the printed maps for direction. You are not sitting in the passenger seat for conversation!! Sometimes you must navigate.
• The dimming of lights in a strange house you rented on vacation may be due to timers and not a burglar. It may not be necessary to drive in bikinis to get a fellow renter and his softball team to tour the house...
• When all else fails, throw your hands in the air and circle them around like you just don't care and oh yes..... DANCE!!!

Meet old friends

There's something very nostalgic and rewarding when meeting old friends. They bring to life some of the best memories, spark up laughter and great conversation. Life gets busy, friends come and go. Your circle of friends tends to be those closest to your values and experiences. When some of these experiences change so do our friends. They don't stop being our friends, but they tend to be distant not sharing the same experiences and life surrounding as you. It's natural progression. When that does happen, do take the time out of your busy life to reconnect at some point. It may not be possible to be the same friend or even make it a habit of hanging out but do reconnect.

• Reconnecting with old friends brings out some great memories
• You re-live some moments you forgot
• It almost always brings out lots of laughter
• It re-charges your soul

Make time for those special "old" friends. They may even become your new friends again!

I love snow days...yes, even in April!

April 11th was declared a snow day....so much for Spring! Funny enough there wasn't a speck of snow, just a tad bit of rain that the weather stations called freezing rain.... hmm questionable.

I for one LOVED it!! What better way to hang out with family who otherwise gets caught up in the hustle and bustle of work and school. We all hung out in pjs ordered pizza and enjoyed what felt like a very long day!

Make the most of such freebies! It's easy to think about what we should be doing or worrying about how things will get done as the city is at a hiatus due to a few drops of rain. Here's how we made the most of it;

• We completed all 10 phases of phase 10! For those who have not played phase 10, it's a card game and you should give it a try. Usually we end up half way through as something comes up or someone just got tired of playing or has no hope of winning. I didn't win, regardless it was fun. Even more fun was listening to the kids laugh and giggle as they "skip" me countless times.
• Who needs to cook when you can call for pizza? We stayed in our pj's and continued card playing instead of worrying about lunch and made sure we ordered enough for leftovers for dinner.
• Convos with the kids - they were the best due to the lack of interruption.
• My daughter had her friend over and the two of them had a blast shooting a music video. I might add, that it was better than the original itself and yes, I am biased.
• My son eventually ventured out to drop off a resume at the golden arches. He also nailed a great interview.... bonus! It is truly rewarding seeing what you have tirelessly instilled come to life! He may or may not get the job but if it were up to me, I would have hired him on the spot....no biases here!

Enjoy your snow days. Let's hope we have more coming this Winter! Right now, I'm looking forward to Spring staying and of course the arrival of Summer!

I got out of my comfort zone thanks to Pampered Chef.

I don't cook! I don't know how, and I most certainly don't like doing it. Home Economics was mandatory in the high school I attended, and cooking was very much part of the curriculum. I would find some way to be sent out of the class when it was time to cook but made sure I returned to sample the goodies when they were ready :-) Cooking is not part of my genetic structure. That's my story and I'm sticking with it! After seeing a very delicious looking taco pie online I decided to try my fate in the kitchen with much encouragement from my family. Hmm, it was a process, just layering the crescent rolls! They stuck to my very oiled hands, I then sought out the help of flour to get it off but finally, finally they were laid somewhat mismatched in a circle as the recipe called for. I followed through with the rest of the instructions and ended up burning the bottom of the pie just a tad. Victory!! Any other time it would have been burning all of it. My family LOVED it, specially the kids!! So did my friends that tried a piece. It was even more rewarding when my daughter took it to school the next day for lunch. Thanks, Pampered Chef for getting me out of my comfort zone!

• Get out of your comfort zone occasionally - Not only will you feel like you achieved something, but you may actually enjoy doing it!
• Unless you are performing surgery, don't be afraid to make mistakes! They can usually be touched up and the worst is that you must start over.
• Try something new. It's refreshing when you do.
• If you have burned the bottom of the pie, you can always enjoy the top!

Time and tide wait for no man - Geoffrey Chaucer

When the kids were little I was gifted with a photo frame in the shape of a school house with slots to put in pictures as the kids went through their school years. It was cute, but I didn't realize the full value of it until recently. I just thought it would be another one of these gifts that would collect dust and get lost somewhere around the house. I remember inserting the 1st picture of both my son and daughter (they each have their own school house photo frame), when they were in Junior Kindergarten. There were 13 slots in each and I recall thinking that this may take forever to fill! How wrong I was. Each year we've been diligent to purchase the kids school pictures. We send one to Grandma, GD (Grand Dad sounds old!) and my sister, insert one of the photos into the school house photo frame and leave a rather large number of photos back in the envelope they came in. It's been a pleasure getting the photos and adding them into the frame. The other day when we received the kids pictures for this year, we did the same thing. I added my son's grade 10 picture and saw that there were only 2 slots left to fill!! It really didn't take that long at all. It's almost full! His school days are almost done. I still feel a twinge thinking of it. I must remember to treasure every moment and not be caught up in life's rat race. It's so important that we;

• Make the most of every day. Don't rush it! Don't wish it away! Cherish it as when it's gone it does not come back. That moment, that time is but temporary and deserves your fullest attention.
• Treasure the kids at any age. When they grow, we look back wishing they were younger or wondering what it would be when they are older. Treasure them now. At this moment. The moments in the past have come and gone and day dreaming about them only takes away from the "now". Who knows what tomorrow will be. Live now.
• Keep a record of important things. If you have not, then start a blog. I am doing just that!
• Slow down - a good wine is best when it's sipped not chugged. The same applies to life.
• Cherish little gifts. At the time given they may seem silly, but they may also bring you the biggest smile and the happiest memories.
• Time does fly so if you can slow it just a bit, do just that!

Be yourself!

Ever heard the saying "be yourself everyone else is taken"? How true it is. I have also seen a picture of several little yellow rubber ducks with a bright pink rubber duck in the middle and the saying "why fit in when you are born to stand out?". My daughter has this on her twitter account and I had to smile when I saw this. I had only been preaching this.... like forever... lol!

It's saddens me to see tweens and teens these days just trying to fit in. Trying to belong. Be part of a group. I do think it's important to have a sense of belonging and fit in, in general. It's human nature and it's being part of society. Let's face it though, not always will you fit in, nor should you. We are all different and may not belong to every group even though we may want to. It's then that you should look within yourself and celebrate the difference, the diversity and individuality. It's YOU! Be who you are and love it! We often tell our kids to make good friends. What we omit is to let them know to be themselves when making those friends. Don't change for anyone...unless it's for the better. No one likes hanging around mean and unkind people so if you are then, please change! Life is too short for nastiness :-)

• Be who you are and be proud of it
• Celebrate your diversity and you will have more to offer
• Difference is a beautiful thing. If everything was the same, it would be called booorrrinng!!
• Smile knowing that there is only 1 person like you.... YOU!

The Magic of Disney!

We visited Disney for the 1st time, March 2013. It was a true first for my 44 year old husband, my 15 year old son and 13 year old daughter. I had been to Disneyland, in Tokyo when I was 11. I think this visit kind of counts as a first for me too. It was a truly memorable experience and well worth the $$$ spent. Here are my brief recaps....

• Best time to visit Disney is when it rains!! We each got a $5.00 poncho with Disney characters at the back and it was well worth the money spent as we stayed warm and dry the entire time.
• No line ups... YES! The rain put off most of the crowds allowing us to get on all the rides with little or no waiting time. The longest we waited was 10 minutes. We visited Magic Kingdom and were able to do almost all the rides stress and line-up free.
• Hook up with someone or some people who know their way around. We met our friends who are Disney Experts (DE). They helped us navigate the entire park with ease making it a fun day.
• Listen to your DEs. When they say pin trading, is something your teenage kids will want to do don't take it lightly. My teenage kids probably enjoyed the pin trading more than the rides...lol.
• When you can't find your teenage kids at the park, they are probably at a store or cart...pin trading!!!
• If it's only a 5 minute wait to meet Mickey, meet Mickey. It may not be in your plans but it's well worth it.
• Join a parade! Your teenage kids may want to dis-own you but it's certainly worth the while watching them smile and shake their head in disbelief. YOLO people!
• Best part of Disney..... you do get to be a kid again, with your kids!    

Who said Cheerleading was easy?

My daughter is on a competitive cheer team and for the last couple of months has been struggling with completing her stunt with her group. Due to a recent knee issue she has found it hard to pull the required leg positions. It has also been a struggle with team mates being away and not being able effectively practice the stunts. Knowing all of this I wasn't quite sure what to expect at the upcoming competition. Well, she nailed her routine and her stunts. Her team did really well overall. Although they came in 2nd place, they certainly impressed me with their tenacity to push through the struggles and difficulty in completing a clean routine. Here's my recap of it all...

• It's been said over and over again yet never gets old....never, ever, ever give up. Even when the odds are against you there is always a possibility of coming through any difficulty.
• Have fun. At any time, you are living but a small moment in a long journey called life. You can make it a happy one. A FUN one. It's up to you.
• Do your best. It's all you can do. there is no point worrying or fretting or being anxious. Just do your best. You may surprise at how well you do!
• Smile. Even when you have a foot smack your face and you can't help but show it.... smile right after. Everyone will smile too.
• After an exhausting, high energy, LOUD and fun competition weekend it is always good to come back to a good home cooked meal. It's even better when it's roast beef, with stewed veggies and rice and peas!          

Quick Lessons....

• Doing good deeds may not help but it certainly does not hinder either! It definitely makes at least one person (you) feel good.
• When it's snowing and taffic's crazy it maybe better to stop for food somewhere close or on the way. It makes no sense going to the other side of town no matter how good the food is!!
• If you ask for help you will probably get it.
• Kids do surprise you! Just when you think that nagging will never end, they turn around and shovel the driveway without you saying a word...Thanks J!  

New Beginnings

hmm...All this is new, blogging, google +. I am not even sure how I will access this later. I may need the kids to help out. I just hope I remember my user name at least...lol

Here is my attempt to capture my recaps and lessons learned so I look back or my kids look back one day and smile at my "yes" or "oh no" moments. I was never a journals kinda person so this is probably as good as it gets.

Enjoy reading and I will enjoy writing it all as I remember!