When life gives you lemons…

I was looking for an inspirational/get well soon card today after finding out that a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer. One of them said “When life gives you lemons, you squeeze them in someone’s eyes”. Made me laugh and exactly what I needed to lighten the mood. What do you do, when life give you lemons? It can come in many forms, one of them being that dreaded C word. My daughter’s friend’s mom was also recently diagnosed, and my cousin’s been fighting it for over two years. While I have had my share of challenges, I’ve been luck enough that they haven’t been significantly life altering. So, what do you exactly do? I don’t have all the answers and it will be different for each person. I have learnt from my awesome cousin and friend that you simply keep going, as much as you can, as far as you can.

·        Take the time you need to heal. Pause, if you can. Catch your breath and assess what your next move will be. Will it be making lemonade out of the lemons you were just dished, or will it be a shot of tequila, followed quickly by that slice of lemon. Time may not be your friend, but it will give you a moment to assess and come up with a game plan of tackling the stack of lemons in front of you.

·        Appreciate the little positive moments you get in between the chaos. Every day is really a gift and should not be taken for granted. Take in the mundane, the not so exciting times and any little relief you get in between. They won’t all be bad, so treasure the positivity and the rays of sunshine as you go through your tiring journey.

·        Take a posse with you. My friend has a community around her of co-workers, close friends and of course, family. She’s building a buddy system, so she is not walking her path alone. For any life events, big or small she will be taking someone along with her, to support her, lift her up or just be there with her.

·        Do what feels right. There is no instruction manual or book to overcome life’s tough blows. Even if there were, they won’t exactly apply to what you are going through. Do what feels right. You will have lots of instructions and advice. Most of it well-intentioned. So, take the good with the bad and come up with your very own way of dealing with the stress, the tasks, the recovery and plan.

·        Ask for help. Never shy away from asking your friends and family for support or help. Most are only too happy to offer a helping hand and just need to be told what to do.

So, when life gives you lemons, what will you do? Maybe just hang in there and remind yourself that “this too shall pass”. I am not sure what exactly I would do, but I do love lemonade and a good shot of tequila.

You won't be everyone's cup of tea…

Not everyone will think you are awesome,….. and that’s perfectly OK!! Hard to accept but no matter how awesome you think you are or have heard it one thousand times over, there may be a few or just that one and only person that will disagree. Accept it and move on. It really is ok, and life will turn out alright. Really.

It's ok to have a “few” flaws and not be everyone’s cup of tea or coffee for that matter. Embrace it. It’s probably them and not you!! In any event, rather than obsessing about it, trying to be a people pleaser, converter or worse downright ignoring it, reflect, accept and move on.

• Stay true to your values – ALWAYS. Don’t ever change them, tweak them or set them aside to fit into someone else’s mold or awesomeness definition. Do you. The right people will appreciate it, accept it and love you for it. Those are the ones you want in your corner. Let the others go. Your values are important and something to treasure. They make you who you are and is your passport in this world. Don’t change them…. unless they are out of whack. If not, protect them with all your might.

• Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. You are unique. There is no one else like you. Be confident. Don’t be a people pleaser! You can’t stand out if you are always trying to fit in (thanks Dr. Seuss!). It’s ok to be different. It’s ok that some do not accept you for who you are. Love yourself for all your goodness, kindness, quirkiness, mistakes and substance. That is all you. If you don’t already, then take time to love it. Love YOU. If you need further proof, see… http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/04/be-yourself.html

• Other people’s opinions are just that…. other people’s. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion of you get you down. They are entitled to their opinion and you don’t have to accept it. Move on! Don’t allow the opinions of others affect you negatively. It’s quite alright to reflect on it but don’t do it for too long. We are all a work-in-progress so it’s important to reflect on room for improvements on ourselves. It doesn’t mean beating yourself up though. You need the right amount of space and time to reflect and truly move on. Pay attention to where it’s coming from as well. Some opinions maybe important but some belong in the trash.

It’s human nature to look for affection and validation in our day to day lives and relationships. We must come to terms though, that we will not get the love and affection ALL THE TIME, regardless of how awesome and amazing we are. You will not be everyone’s cup of tea and that may be a good thing.

Your Heart Does Not Lie!

2013 was a pivotal year for me. After having worked 12 years at my previous company, taking on a new role and a new challenge each year pretty much, I decided to call it quits and take my chances going after new opportunities. People thought I was nuts, having a pretty good gig going on. I loved the people, the place but no longer felt challenged or excited. I had nothing lined up nor was I actively looking right away after I quit. Instead I took the time off, to discover, play, travel and take on new challenges I would not have otherwise experienced had I stayed PUT! Just a few of my highlights;

1.    Gained my PMP (project management professional certification)

2.    Figured out social media and ran some marketing and sales campaigns

3.    Except for Lincoln, I saw all Oscar nominated “Best Picture” movies

4.    Disneyworld with my family…. Loads of fun!

5.    New Orleans!!

6.    Opened up my company and started a blog…which reminds me I have to write more often!

7.    Gained some awesome friends and mentors

8.    Got an opportunity to serve on the board of directors for the Canadian Mental Health Association in Peel region

9.    Landed a terrific new opportunity that affords me the privilege to serve and challenges me with some very exciting projects ahead

10.  My very favourite……LOTS of family time.

I am a NOT a believer of good things come to those who wait. I am a believer of going after what you want. So, go get it!! Don’t wait! Apart from the highlights, here are three very important lessons I took with me this year……

Listen to your heart

Do what feels right to you. You will have tons of naysayers. Learn to tune them OUT! I remember hearing the phrase “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” over and over, again. I tuned it out. I took a risk. A BIG risk and live to tell you that it was sooooo worth it! Do what you want to do and what feels right! Learn to listen to yourself more and tune out the white noise around you. Listen to your heart.

Seek out and cherish your support system

Being a mom of two, a wife, a mortgage holder, a bill payer, I couldn’t just up and quit and follow my speaking heart. I needed the support of my family. I needed them on my side. They encouraged me to follow my heart and when I was ready to seek out my next opportunity, they became my biggest cheerleaders. They cheered me on every single day. Make sure you have a very strong support system. I had the very best!!

Surround yourself with positivity

You are what you think. Guard your thoughts and actions carefully. Surround yourself with positive people. You can’t soar with the eagles if you hang around the turkeys. Figure out who your eagles and turkeys are and pick your company wisely. I surrounded myself with positivity and with people I could learn from, and did I ever learn a ton! Your attitude will determine your altitude and you want to make sure you aim high! Positivity is key!

So, what are some of the things you learned in 2013? Do let me know …..

Be yourself!

Ever heard the saying "be yourself everyone else is taken"? How true it is. I have also seen a picture of several little yellow rubber ducks with a bright pink rubber duck in the middle and the saying "why fit in when you are born to stand out?". My daughter has this on her twitter account and I had to smile when I saw this. I had only been preaching this.... like forever... lol!

It's saddens me to see tweens and teens these days just trying to fit in. Trying to belong. Be part of a group. I do think it's important to have a sense of belonging and fit in, in general. It's human nature and it's being part of society. Let's face it though, not always will you fit in, nor should you. We are all different and may not belong to every group even though we may want to. It's then that you should look within yourself and celebrate the difference, the diversity and individuality. It's YOU! Be who you are and love it! We often tell our kids to make good friends. What we omit is to let them know to be themselves when making those friends. Don't change for anyone...unless it's for the better. No one likes hanging around mean and unkind people so if you are then, please change! Life is too short for nastiness :-)

• Be who you are and be proud of it
• Celebrate your diversity and you will have more to offer
• Difference is a beautiful thing. If everything was the same, it would be called booorrrinng!!
• Smile knowing that there is only 1 person like you.... YOU!