When everyday feels like Groundhog Day

It’s been just over a year now with shutdowns, lock-downs, stay at home orders, grey zones and red zones, and just like most of you, I can’t keep up. Regardless of what colour or lock-down type it is, we’ve pretty much been indoors. Going out for a few drives, dropping off groceries for my daughter who lives an hour away from us and only going out when we must for groceries, and even that, hubby has that covered so I remain mostly indoors. It feels like Groundhog Day every day. One day blending into another into one very long and tiring year. To find some light to things and stay motivated, I’ve been trying to find something new, something to look forward to everyday. It’s hard at times when everyday feels just like the day before but I really do try. It gets me up and looking forward to the day and maybe the event I’m anticipating, however small that maybe.

I’ve listed some of my favourites and yes, they are somewhat in raking order.

·       Leafs games!!

·       Raptor’s games and the Jays – although I still can’t sit through an entire baseball game on tv yet.

·       Long drives by the Lakeshore or anywhere near water.

·       A long walk in nature.

·       New yoga classes.

·       Online seminars and learnings – these have been great to keep up with what others are doing to adapt to this new norm and stretch my learnings.

·       A virtual coffee chats.

·       House party with friends – no not an actual party but an app that’s a bunch of games you play virtually with friends.

·       A good book – this has been something really exciting to look forward to, and I don’t give the ones that don’t resonate with me anymore of my time. I was someone that pushed through to continue reading but not anymore. There are way too many good ones to get to.

·       Duolingo – another app – I’m learning Spanish. I’ve been keeping this up every day. I will be well prepared the next time I travel whenever that is.

·       Planning the next trip. Researching, looking up new destinations, flipping through You Tube videos has me looking forward to the next trip. Definitely not the same as going but planning, plotting and researching is lots of fun. I have three booked and am waiting for the green light to fly.

·       A meal from a local restaurant.

·       A new project.

·       Shutterfly – I spent an entire weekend converting all those old vacation pics into photo books. It was an absolute joy to get the books and go through them.

·       Netflix series – there’s some great ones. It’s nice to look forward to a new episode each day.

·       Explore new ideas and opportunities. Plan them out. Make it happen.

·       Change up a room. We spruced up the principle bedroom with curtains and what a transformation it was.

·       I’m fortunate to be working on a big construction project. There is never a dull moment at work and seems something new happens everyday that never fails to surprise me.

·       Selfcare. So essential, so carve out the time!

·       Declutter – organize! 

·       I hate cooking – but a few times I did make it a point to plan and cook a meal – Moussaka one day and nachos another. It was something to look forward to and everyone enjoyed it. I am yet to plan the next but again…something to look forward to.

These are just a few of my favourites and I am always looking for more ideas. When everyday feels like Groundhog Day, challenge yourself to find something new. Dig deep. What’s new? Tweet me some of your ideas I can try out.

One thing off of the Bucket List

I finally signed up for Yoga Teacher Training. After five and something years of wanting to do it, I finally did! I wrote up the application, toured the studio, paid my registration fees and took my 1^st class in a nine-month training course, this past weekend. It was that simple. I had a million and one excuses before…. it was never the right time, there was always too much going on, kids were involved in this that and the other, then it was the kids’ university which is costly, there were the vacations that got in the way, the studios the classes were conducted at seemed hard to get to. Again, excuses and none of them substantial. If I really wanted to do it, I could have but just didn’t get around to doing it. Plain and simple. The “will” was not stronger than all those excuses combined. Finally, though, it was. I signed up, because this time, I REALLY wanted to do it. My intent and will were strong enough to finally commit to getting it done.

The 1^st weekend of the training course is now under my belt. I have nine more weekends and eight more Thursday nights to complete. The 1^st weekend was both exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. My classmates are wonderful, and our teachers are fabulous. The energy around the room, exhausted as we all were, was still very uplifting. Everyone had their own story and reasons for embarking on this journey and they were just as diverse as the group of us. It’s a lot to complete. It’s not going to be easy.  We must all fit in assignment time, regular yoga practice time, study time and training time along with work, family and just regular day to day stuff. Personal goals are never easy to achieve but the harder you work at it and achieve it, the sweeter the reward. Once completed, there will be one less item on my bucket list. I can’t wait.

How many times do we postpone things we really want to do? I am not talking about a loose wish list but something that has substance and real desire to complete like a long-standing bucket list item or a goal in life. This was one of them for me. A million of excuses and challenges certainly will come up. It’s up to us to move past them all. There is no such thing as the right time…. there will always be a bill that needs to be paid, there will always be regular day to day commitments, fitting it in to our already packed days and weeks and months will always be an issue but, nothing that cannot be addressed and overcome. There are ways. Lots of ways to “just do it” (thanks Nike). So, what’s stopping you? Start your list and figure out ways to overcome all those dreaded excuses.

I will leave you with this “Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Namaste!

YOU are the Lead Actor in your movie

Never be the supporting actress or actor in your own movie. You play the lead role so play it. Stop playing second fiddle and back up! Often, we become extras in our own movie, playing alongside others who have taken over the lead roles. Enough already. It’s time to step up and move over to the role you were meant to play. It’s time to take the lead so….

·        Lead – It’s what you are meant to do. It’s your movie. It’s your life, so lead it. Whether it’s becoming a trail blazer or meandering through the world and enjoying your journey through life, it’s up to you to decide. Whatever that decision is, live your best life. Do good. Do your best. Live to the fullest.

·        Commit – Any good actor knows to make it a blockbuster, you’ve got to commit to the role. Give it your everything and make it count. You can’t play a half-hearted character, you must be all in.

·        There will be do-overs – “Cut” the director yells. You get to run the scene again. I do realize sometimes you don’t have the luxury of a do-over. There are tragedies. In those instances, you take the time to heal and you move on to your next scene as hard as it maybe. Most times though, you do get a second chance. Sometimes however, it will take more than a second chance. Do it over and over until you get it right. It’s YOUR movie. It’s YOUR life.

·        Practice – Contrary to popular belief, it does not make perfect, but it will get you closer to it. Practice, over and over again. The more you practice, the better you get.

·        Change – As often as you want, as often as you need, change your story, change your scene. You are not only the lead actor but also the editor, director and producer all wrapped into one. At times though, change will happen without your direction. That’s just life keeping you in your toes. Re-adjust. Assess where you go next. It’s your movie, make it your own.

Too often we take a back seat in our own life. Letting others direct it the way they want. I just wanted to remind you that YOU are in fact the lead actor in your movie, in your life, so take centre stage. Lead…. “And action”….

Say it loud…… THE RAPTORS ARE THE 2019 NBA CHAMPS!

The Raptors are the 2019 NBA Champs!!! I like saying that. I will always remember where I was, who I was with and that glorious feeling of the “Sixers” (the 416ixers) winning in six. Two million people showed up for the parade to celebrate their historic win. This post is not about how great or historic that win was. We all know it was and then some more. It’s not about all the nail biting games they clinched leading up to it. It’s about how one man had a vision and moved his team towards executing that vision ever so well. It’s about leadership. The one big reason, in my humble opinion, why the Raptors won the Larry O’Brien trophy.

Most people did not understand or agree with the firing of former Raptor’s head coach Dwayne Casey, who had just been awarded Coach of the Year. Most people did not understand and hated the trade of fan favourite and star player DeMar DeRozen for Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green. It did not make sense to most, but to President of Raptor’s, Masai Ujiri, it made perfect sense. He was the leader that made the 2019 NBA championship possible. He executed pure and simple leadership.

·       Vision – He had a vision for the team and executed it with precision. He communicated that vision over and over, never giving up on it even when the team couldn’t see it. When the reality of it seemed like it was slipping away he still communicated that vision. He bought into the vision and kept selling us that vision at every opportunity he got. Yes, we all bought into it.

·       Seizing Opportunity – It was risky signing Kawhi Leonard coming off an injury, yet he seized it. A risky move, that later would pay off with an NBA championship and making Leonard one of the most valuable players in the sport.

·       Get the right people on the bus and get the wrong people off the bus – It’s a Jim Collin’s quote from his book “Good to Great”. If you haven’t read it, read it! It’s a great one. I’m sure it wasn’t easy letting Casey and Derozen go. To execute his vision and have it fulfilled however, it was needed. He needed to change up the dynamics of the team, change the leadership within it, so he could move it forward. He let them go, moved up Nick Nurse to head coach and brought in key players to fulfill his vision. After winning the championship he did give credit to both Casey and Derozen who were instrumental in the road towards the championship. Classy leadership!

·       Passion – He never lacked passion, in his pursuit of his vision, in the communication of his vision and the way he led. At times, he got into hot water trying to rally the team a little “too passionately” before crucial games.

·       Trust - He trusted his team, even when it seemed to not go as well. He was steadfast in his belief and trust in their capabilities and what they can achieve together.

If you follow basketball or the Raptors you would know that Kawhi Leonard, did not end up signing another season with Toronto. No hard feelings. We thank him for a stellar year and giving the city and the country something, we’ve never had before, an NBA championship. We wish him the best but not too much. We want to see the Raptors win again sometime soon. I trust Ujiri may have something up his sleeve …. I think it’s leadership.  

Do what you do with passion

I had posted my usual motivational tweet one morning… “Do what you do with passion or not at all”, to which someone sarcastically tweeted back, “I’m cleaning today, should I do that with passion too?” I said, “Absolutely yes”. Sure, it’s not, the most exciting of tasks, but still… why not? I would think you would want a clean looking house. How would you achieve the best possible result if you were grudgingly doing the work? I know I can’t. It’s easy when you are excited about the project or task to get passionate about the work. Not quite the same when it’s a mundane or day to day chore. So how do you get that excitement going?

·       Boost it up – ask yourself if it’s necessary – if not, then don’t do it. If it’s necessary, then get it done. Boost it up to liven the time doing it. I use music to boost up any tired old chore. Cleaning is a perfect example. With good music, I do feel passionately doing the most mundane of tasks. A little bit of wine helps too and sometimes more than just a little.

·       What’s next?  - it helps to think what’s coming up next. At times it’s something more exciting within a project or goal. Get the boring stuff out of the way to make room for the more exciting stuff. Doing with well and efficiently, will only lead to a better experience after it.

·       Two hands are always better than one – I like to include my family and friends in some of the not-so-exciting things I need to do. When we got our basement ready, when we needed to do some major cleaning and purging, I made sure I sourced out help. Didn’t want to keep all the “fun” to myself. It became an event, an exciting one and not so daunting and boring after all.

·       Envision the end – it’s nice to have a vision, with everything. It doesn’t have to be formal or written down but, planning it out in your head and envisioning the result and what it would look like can be good motivation on getting things done and getting them done well.

I must leave to complete another mundane task. Yes, it’s absolutely needed, and I am envisioning the final product to get me going. The end-result involves a very exciting NBA Finals game 5 against the Raptors and Golden State Warriors. Here I go with passion……

Persistence

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success – Napoleon Hill

Persistence is defined by the firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action despite difficulty or opposition. It’s undeniably the one factor that overcomes defeat, pushes people to succeed and conquers those so-called unattainable goals. The ability to keep pushing past barriers, struggles, challenges and overcoming the impossible at times, to accomplish what you want, is a worthy and admirable skill. It’s the single trait that allows people to keep moving forward and not take life’s hard blows lying down. I love reflecting on the examples we know well and some not as much. It’s something to strive towards and remind yourself to keep driving forward and getting up every time we fall and fail.  Here’s some fine example of persistence….in no particular order.

1.    Tiger Woods - History was made the other day with Tiger Woods winning the 2019 Masters tournament. He battled a dreadful unhinging of his personal life, a diminishing golf career and physical injuries to come back on top. After his steady demise he battled back to win his first major in eleven years becoming the 2019 Masters champion.

2.       Diana Nyad – At age 64 and on her 5^th attempt Diane Nyad, conquered the swim from Havana, Cuba to Florida. There were some critics and controversies surrounding her unassisted swim following her accomplishment. Still, you can’t ignore the fact that perseverance drove her to complete the swim on her fifth attempt at age 64! Thirty-five years after her first attempt at this feat at age 29 in 1978, it’s nothing but impressive. 

3.       Michael Jordon – “I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” It wasn’t everything but net for Michael Jordon who failed to make his high school basketball team. Not making the team was devastating but it pushed him to keep working harder and to keep persevering. It’s common knowledge how impressive of a career he had in basketball and by far one of the greatest athletes of our time.

4.       Nelson Mandela – After 27 years in prison, Mandela, did not give up hope or the desire to dismantle apartheid in South Africa. Soon after his release in 1990, he led the efforts to end apartheid. His long and gruelling stint in prison did not deter him from achieving his goal and desire for his nation. He was also befittingly called Madiba, Father of the Nation.

5.       Oprah Winfrey – Born into poverty and surviving a horrific childhood, Oprah persisted and slowly became a pinnacle of success and a magnate in the media. Her never say die attitude and positive thinking still resonates and changes peoples lives daily. Persistence is powerful.

6.       Joanne K Rowling – The author of the Harry Potter series, J K Rowling, was a single mom, who lived on welfare but never gave up her writing. She persisted through hardships, a divorce and depression, writing and mapping out her Harry Potter series wherever and whenever she could. The Harry Potter script was rejected by twelve major publishing houses and a couple years later was picked up by a small publisher who gave Rowling a small advance for the book and published only 1000 copies. The rest as you know is history.

7.       Sylvester Stallone – Trying hard to make a living, Stallone wrote the script for Rocky and wanted to star as the main character. He was rejected and was later offered $350,000 for the rights to the script, with someone else as the lead. He didn’t give in and settled for a much lower price for the script but with him as the star. The famous Rocky would not be the same without the persistence of Stallone.

8.       Alex Honnold – If you haven’t watched Free Solo yet, please do. It highlights the sheer grit, courage and persistence of Alex Honnold. He is the first and only person to free solo El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. His methodical and thoughtful planning along with his persistence of seeing it through despite all the risks involved, helped create one of the greatest athletic feats of our time.

9.       Walt Disney – He failed over and over before he succeeded. Several of his business went bankrupt before, Walt Disney became a mogul in the animation world. He believed in his art form and kept pushing through his failures and challenges. His loving creation Mickey Mouse still entertains and spreads happiness across the world today.

10.   Mahatma Gandhi – Lawyer who then become a political and social activist led the charge of gaining freedom in India. Exposed to racial discrimination in South Africa, Gandhi gradually became a social activist fighting for racial equality and rights in South Africa. Returning to his home country, India, Gandhi became synonymous with freedom and civil rights. His persistent, non-violent, non-cooperation movement helped the eventual independence of India.

Have I left off any other examples of persistence? If so, please do share!

Put down that phone.

It’s the age of the smart phone where you see everyone engrossed in their hand-held devices. If you just sit back and observe people around you, wherever you are, you will notice how almost everyone is buried on their phones. Yes, including me. There’d be people beside you, family, friends and strangers waiting for something, in the middle of a conversation, having dinner, watching TV, and all focus is on the phone. I saw a brilliant cartoon the other day on Facebook where people around were portrayed as shadows and the people beside them portrayed brightly and vividly on their phone, oblivious to the real world situations and people around them thanks to that wondrous invention – the smart phone. One time, we were at the airport and witnessed a family of four – mom, dad, two young children about five or 7 years old and all four of them on their devices sitting and waiting in the lounge. “How sad” I thought to myself and was also so thankful I didn’t have to raise my two kids (now adults 21 and 19) with the distraction of the smart phone or iPad. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not ALL bad. There is a purpose and wonderful world within that smart phone no doubt, however, as with anything in life, moderation is key.

There is an increased link to mental health issues, social anxiety and an addiction to social media due to the introduction of the smart phone. That’s another post for another time.

I feel I am constantly reminding my family of the need to put down that phone. At dinner and meal times together, it is an absolute NO, and everyone adheres to it! Overall though, it’s a hard sell. The smart phone gives you that distraction, engagement, entertainment and mindless leisure all at your finger tips….so I am starting the change with me.

·       I give myself periods during the day where I use it and then have time to be completely unplugged.

·       The phone was my train ride buddy – but now, I use it only half way through and switch to a great read for the other half of the ride. I’ve been reading more lately which I quite enjoy. I am currently reading Michelle Obama’s “Becoming” – a great read!

·       The mindless game of Candy Crush has stopped while having a conversation on speaker phone or my headset.

·       It’s been a treat to engage with people and being present fully without having to twiddle my thumbs on the device.

·       When I am watching TV or a movie – I do just that or at least I try my best to. This is still, a work in progress. For the most part it’s, no more picking up the phone and idling through social media during the boring parts or commercials.

·       It’s an absolute NO while enjoying company and hanging out with friends and family.

The phone still is a valuable tool when you want to look things up further to what you are watching or discussing, so that’s not going to stop. It’s a joy though, to enjoy life and people with no distractions. To be fully present. To enjoy and experience the moment just as it is. It’s hard for those, like me, who are accustomed now to the ease of information and entertainment right at your finger tips. It’s a process to unlearn something you just picked up and oh so well too. It’s work-in-progress to me. Now, I will be picking it up to post and promote this blog post and catch up on others, but right after, I am putting that darn phone down.

Drown out the white noise!

Ever had that nagging noise in the back of your head like a humdrum of a fan in the background? It usually comes on when a brilliant idea pops up or you want to go after something you’ve always wanted. Your passion, your dreams or goals perhaps. It’s an annoying buzz of negativity, what ifs and I don’t think it’s doable running low, slow and steady in the back of your mind. Drown it out! Yes, yes, it’s hard. Easier said than done I know, but, keep at it and it becomes easier and easier every time you do. Keep building that muscle of pushing out the noise. Soon it will become a habit and an instinct that helps you keep moving ahead with your ideas, goals and plans. Learn how to quieten the white noise when you have things to accomplish. Here’s how;

·        Take a break – Seems counter-intuitive but it really DOES work. Go for a walk. Take in nature. Just sit and still your mind with a cup of tea or coffee. Read a book. Do something to change the scenery. Don’t think about what needs to be done, just enjoy the moment, stay calm and try to quiet the mind by not thinking about what needs to be done, your idea, goal or plan. Just enjoy the moment just as it is. It may take a few hours, it may take a couple of days but tale the time needed to give yourself and your mind a break. Then get back at it.

·        Plan it out – “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail” ~ Benjamin Franklin. Plan out your idea or goal. Jot down the high-level steps, your details in-between, create a task list. It’s a great way to drown out the noise. Keep working towards your goal by pouring your mind and planning towards it. You won’t hear much of the noise planning out your big dream. Remember a dream is just a dream until it’s planned out and followed through by action to make it a reality.

·        Give in to it – Yes – it’s completely opposite of bullet #1, but, that white noise may be something you need to pay close attention to. Write down ALL the what ifs, the negatives, the issues and challenges. Think about ways to mitigate them. Write it out. Every time they come out, work out a strategy to overcome them. If you can’t come up with a strategy to overcome them, then action bullet #1 😊 it’s amazing what you can accomplish by just giving yourself a quick break.

·        Get help – Have a close circle of friends, family and encouragers. Seek out the most supportive in the lot and talk it out. Having a friendly ear always helps dispel any doubts. They can also help discern the real issues versus just random worries. Beware of the negative Nellies. See more here http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/05/dont-get-sucked-in.html They do have a purpose, but you are looking to move forward, so seek out the positive and encouraging allies you need during this time.  

Most often we don’t realize our purpose, dreams and goals, not because we can’t, but because we give into that white noise in the background. While there’s always value of listening in, there is more value in pushing through all that hum drum noise and realizing whatever it is you want to realize. So, shush that noise already and push through. Your passion project awaits.

You won't be everyone's cup of tea…

Not everyone will think you are awesome,….. and that’s perfectly OK!! Hard to accept but no matter how awesome you think you are or have heard it one thousand times over, there may be a few or just that one and only person that will disagree. Accept it and move on. It really is ok, and life will turn out alright. Really.

It's ok to have a “few” flaws and not be everyone’s cup of tea or coffee for that matter. Embrace it. It’s probably them and not you!! In any event, rather than obsessing about it, trying to be a people pleaser, converter or worse downright ignoring it, reflect, accept and move on.

• Stay true to your values – ALWAYS. Don’t ever change them, tweak them or set them aside to fit into someone else’s mold or awesomeness definition. Do you. The right people will appreciate it, accept it and love you for it. Those are the ones you want in your corner. Let the others go. Your values are important and something to treasure. They make you who you are and is your passport in this world. Don’t change them…. unless they are out of whack. If not, protect them with all your might.

• Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. You are unique. There is no one else like you. Be confident. Don’t be a people pleaser! You can’t stand out if you are always trying to fit in (thanks Dr. Seuss!). It’s ok to be different. It’s ok that some do not accept you for who you are. Love yourself for all your goodness, kindness, quirkiness, mistakes and substance. That is all you. If you don’t already, then take time to love it. Love YOU. If you need further proof, see… http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/04/be-yourself.html

• Other people’s opinions are just that…. other people’s. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion of you get you down. They are entitled to their opinion and you don’t have to accept it. Move on! Don’t allow the opinions of others affect you negatively. It’s quite alright to reflect on it but don’t do it for too long. We are all a work-in-progress so it’s important to reflect on room for improvements on ourselves. It doesn’t mean beating yourself up though. You need the right amount of space and time to reflect and truly move on. Pay attention to where it’s coming from as well. Some opinions maybe important but some belong in the trash.

It’s human nature to look for affection and validation in our day to day lives and relationships. We must come to terms though, that we will not get the love and affection ALL THE TIME, regardless of how awesome and amazing we are. You will not be everyone’s cup of tea and that may be a good thing.

Your Heart Does Not Lie!

2013 was a pivotal year for me. After having worked 12 years at my previous company, taking on a new role and a new challenge each year pretty much, I decided to call it quits and take my chances going after new opportunities. People thought I was nuts, having a pretty good gig going on. I loved the people, the place but no longer felt challenged or excited. I had nothing lined up nor was I actively looking right away after I quit. Instead I took the time off, to discover, play, travel and take on new challenges I would not have otherwise experienced had I stayed PUT! Just a few of my highlights;

1.    Gained my PMP (project management professional certification)

2.    Figured out social media and ran some marketing and sales campaigns

3.    Except for Lincoln, I saw all Oscar nominated “Best Picture” movies

4.    Disneyworld with my family…. Loads of fun!

5.    New Orleans!!

6.    Opened up my company and started a blog…which reminds me I have to write more often!

7.    Gained some awesome friends and mentors

8.    Got an opportunity to serve on the board of directors for the Canadian Mental Health Association in Peel region

9.    Landed a terrific new opportunity that affords me the privilege to serve and challenges me with some very exciting projects ahead

10.  My very favourite……LOTS of family time.

I am a NOT a believer of good things come to those who wait. I am a believer of going after what you want. So, go get it!! Don’t wait! Apart from the highlights, here are three very important lessons I took with me this year……

Listen to your heart

Do what feels right to you. You will have tons of naysayers. Learn to tune them OUT! I remember hearing the phrase “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” over and over, again. I tuned it out. I took a risk. A BIG risk and live to tell you that it was sooooo worth it! Do what you want to do and what feels right! Learn to listen to yourself more and tune out the white noise around you. Listen to your heart.

Seek out and cherish your support system

Being a mom of two, a wife, a mortgage holder, a bill payer, I couldn’t just up and quit and follow my speaking heart. I needed the support of my family. I needed them on my side. They encouraged me to follow my heart and when I was ready to seek out my next opportunity, they became my biggest cheerleaders. They cheered me on every single day. Make sure you have a very strong support system. I had the very best!!

Surround yourself with positivity

You are what you think. Guard your thoughts and actions carefully. Surround yourself with positive people. You can’t soar with the eagles if you hang around the turkeys. Figure out who your eagles and turkeys are and pick your company wisely. I surrounded myself with positivity and with people I could learn from, and did I ever learn a ton! Your attitude will determine your altitude and you want to make sure you aim high! Positivity is key!

So, what are some of the things you learned in 2013? Do let me know …..