Own it and turn it into brilliance

Have you ever seen the TV series Ballers? It’s about a “fixer”/ “man Friday” to pro-football players and a series we are hooked on watching right now. Anyway, in one of the episodes the lead character Spencer, tries to patch things up with an old rival player, Balsamo, by having him throw out the first pitch at a baseball game. It’s a huge moment for the retired footballer, Balsamo. As he comes out, the crowd cheers him on and chants his name. It’s a flashback to his glory days. He takes to the pitcher’s mound and swings it hard towards home plate. He completely misses and slams the ball straight into the stomach of the boom-mic guy on the side. The crowd starts booing and someone yells “Balsamo, you suck”. Balsamo utterly butchered his spotlight moment and he stands frozen looking around at the crowd. Instead of cowering back to the stands, he owns the blunder, throws his arms up triumphantly and confidently, egging the crowd to cheer him on. Suddenly, the fans change, and they are back to applauding him and cheering him on. It’s an amazing moment. I remember watching it thinking it’s a wonderful lesson in turning things around. Not everything will go as well as we planned so why not own it and make it a brilliant lesson.

Sure, some lessons will be humbling, very humbling and we should not or may not have the opportunity to celebrate it, like catastrophes (I won’t go into detailed examples, but you can imagine what they are). These may not be the moments we throw our arms up in the air and ask for more applause, but there are lessons we can learn. We just take them in quietly, reflecting on them with care and grace.

For the most part though mistakes are just that, mistakes. We seem to give them too much negative energy, rather than spinning them into something good and something valuable to learn from. Here’s my two cents….

·        Own it – You made the mistake, take ownership. Accept, apologize and move on.

·        Fix it – It’s yours to fix, so fix it. Figure out a way to make amends, make it better and turn it around so there’s some good that comes out of it.

·        Learn from it – Mistakes have a way of repeating themselves if you don’t learn from them the first time. Funnily enough, that’s how life works. So, learn from it, preferable the first time and not the second- or third-time round.  

·        Pay it forward – If someone’s made the same mistake, help them and support them through it. 

·        Reflect – How do you do better? How can you avoid this again? What went wrong? Reflection is key for self-growth. Careful that you don’t go down the “woah is me” path. Stay above the fray. Stay classy.

·        Turn it into brilliance – Mistakes are sometimes opportunities in the making. Penicillin and the chocolate chip cookie were discovered because Sir Alexander Fleming and Ruth Wakefield made mistakes. You may not be inventing the next Penicillin but who knows, there maybe a golden opportunity you maybe missing. Look closely. 

I just finished reading the book, #Girlboss, the rags to riches story of Sophia Amoruso who founded “Nasty Gal”, the fastest growing retailer in 2012 according to Inc Magazine. There’s a line in the book that I love…. I quote; “My advice to #GIRLBOSSes is to get excited about the mistakes you’ll make”. So, here’s to the fictional Balsamo’s and the non-fictional Sophia Amoruso’s who embraced their mistakes and turned them into brilliance. It’s time we do the same!  

Say it loud…… THE RAPTORS ARE THE 2019 NBA CHAMPS!

The Raptors are the 2019 NBA Champs!!! I like saying that. I will always remember where I was, who I was with and that glorious feeling of the “Sixers” (the 416ixers) winning in six. Two million people showed up for the parade to celebrate their historic win. This post is not about how great or historic that win was. We all know it was and then some more. It’s not about all the nail biting games they clinched leading up to it. It’s about how one man had a vision and moved his team towards executing that vision ever so well. It’s about leadership. The one big reason, in my humble opinion, why the Raptors won the Larry O’Brien trophy.

Most people did not understand or agree with the firing of former Raptor’s head coach Dwayne Casey, who had just been awarded Coach of the Year. Most people did not understand and hated the trade of fan favourite and star player DeMar DeRozen for Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green. It did not make sense to most, but to President of Raptor’s, Masai Ujiri, it made perfect sense. He was the leader that made the 2019 NBA championship possible. He executed pure and simple leadership.

·       Vision – He had a vision for the team and executed it with precision. He communicated that vision over and over, never giving up on it even when the team couldn’t see it. When the reality of it seemed like it was slipping away he still communicated that vision. He bought into the vision and kept selling us that vision at every opportunity he got. Yes, we all bought into it.

·       Seizing Opportunity – It was risky signing Kawhi Leonard coming off an injury, yet he seized it. A risky move, that later would pay off with an NBA championship and making Leonard one of the most valuable players in the sport.

·       Get the right people on the bus and get the wrong people off the bus – It’s a Jim Collin’s quote from his book “Good to Great”. If you haven’t read it, read it! It’s a great one. I’m sure it wasn’t easy letting Casey and Derozen go. To execute his vision and have it fulfilled however, it was needed. He needed to change up the dynamics of the team, change the leadership within it, so he could move it forward. He let them go, moved up Nick Nurse to head coach and brought in key players to fulfill his vision. After winning the championship he did give credit to both Casey and Derozen who were instrumental in the road towards the championship. Classy leadership!

·       Passion – He never lacked passion, in his pursuit of his vision, in the communication of his vision and the way he led. At times, he got into hot water trying to rally the team a little “too passionately” before crucial games.

·       Trust - He trusted his team, even when it seemed to not go as well. He was steadfast in his belief and trust in their capabilities and what they can achieve together.

If you follow basketball or the Raptors you would know that Kawhi Leonard, did not end up signing another season with Toronto. No hard feelings. We thank him for a stellar year and giving the city and the country something, we’ve never had before, an NBA championship. We wish him the best but not too much. We want to see the Raptors win again sometime soon. I trust Ujiri may have something up his sleeve …. I think it’s leadership.  

Grudges are like little cancerous cells that eat at you slowly

Ever had a grudge with anyone? Please contact me if your answer is no. I would like to talk to you. We've all had a grudge with someone at some point or another. They may have said the wrong thing, rubbed you the wrong way or done something quite unforgivable. Your grudge may start with annoyance, to dislike, to a negative feeling that just doesn't go away. Like the little acorn that grows into an oak, this tiny little grudge grows into something quite large that can't be shaken off that easily. Before you know it, your little grudge has made shelter and turned its tiny spot into a full blown warehouse with underground parking and all.

The sad fact is that this grudge can eat away at you like a cancerous tumour. Your mood changes, you feel irksome, you are short tempered, you feel sick and are not yourself. It keeps chipping away at you until it gets the most of you.

I have learned to let my grudges go. I flick them away like a stray piece of bread crumb at a picnic table. Forgive and forget they say, and if you cannot forgive then move on! It doesn't deserve an ounce of your thought or time for that matter so don't give it that precedence. You just end up feeding the little tumour.

• Let grudges go. They don't deserve the attention they usually get!
• Do forgive and forget. Life is way too short to be annoyed at anyone or anything for too long. It does feel good to forgive and if you really can't do that then just move on. Don't give it a second thought. Not ever.
• Ask yourself if it's really that important. Most times it's not. So, get off of that petty chair and patch things up.
• Grudge rhymes with sludge. They also mean about the same thing, with the difference being one's internal (and it's not sludge!!)
• Be free! Live free! It's never fun carrying a lot of baggage.

Lessons learned from Fifi - always wear good shoes!

Fifi, aka my sister always wore good shoes. It was hilarious to see her strutting around the house when she was little with her long skinny legs and mom's heels. This was a normal occurrence, hence the name Fifi. It suited her to a tee. It's funny how that personality carried through to adult hood. No matter what the circumstance or occasion, you will always see her in a "much to be envied" pair of shoes.

Flip flops were my mode of footwear. I wore it to the pool, the mall and even to parties. I wore it with pride and didn't care what anyone had to say or think. As time went by and with much egging on by Fifi, I did see the benefits of her colourful stilettos. It livened any mood, made you feel great and you really did look like a million bucks wearing them. So instead of a wardrobe full of colourful rubber flip flops, I am now the proud owner of a variety of colourful wedges, espadrilles, pumps, peep toes, sling back, booties and boots. It's become a passion to shop for shoes. The bolder and brighter the better. I still have my trusted flip flops in black and brown. They do bring me joy when I wear them now and then. But to feel like I'm strutting the catwalk I need to pull out the "Fifi" shoes. Thanks, Fifi for not giving up on me and expanding my shoe vocabulary!

• Whether you are a guy or gal, wear good shoes. People do take notice.
• You don't get dirty looks walking into stores when you have great shoes on. You do if you don't.
• When you feel under the weather, put on a pair of fancy shoes. They liven you up instantly.
• A boring outfit can be brought to life with a pair of cool shoes.
• "A shoe has so much more to offer than just to walk" ~ Christian Louboutin. "One day I will own one of these Red Soles!" ~ Tehani Mott

Don't be a wallflower...not ever!

Here's what Wikipedia defines as a "wallflower"..."In social situations, a wallflower is a shy or unpopular individual who doesn't socialize or participate in activities at social events. He or she may have other talents but usually does not express them in the presence of other individuals"

Of course everyone has talents. Some genuinely have more than others and some may think they have talent in some area but who will let them know otherwise? In any event everyone has some sort of talent... be it singing, dancing, entertaining, cooking, leading people, motivating them, the list can go on. If you have not yet figured out what your talent is, then find it. You have something that you do better than anyone else, that is unique to you. Find it and share it as it serves no purpose keeping it hidden! That's why I say, "don't be a wallflower"!

There maybe times where being a wallflower may serve its purpose. Unless you are a secret service agent, the moments of appropriately being a wallflower are few and far between. They also should be brief whenever present. Personally, I think it's selfish to have a talent and not share it with the world. I don't mean the "world" literally but what I mean is those around you. Those that can benefit and enjoy the talent you have. Your community, school, work place, your friends and family. Don't be a wallflower! It's selfish in my books and not to be tolerated.

• Never be afraid to share your talents. Not only will it enrich you but it may also enrich someone else.
• Participate. Just being present and taking up space is not good enough. There's plenty of "space takers" in a growing world, don't be one of them or one of those things! Even big space takers like rocks offer up a purpose. They can be collected, admired or climbed.
• Know what you are good at. If you don't know, try finding it. The journey you take to find it will improve yourself and grace others. Even singing off key starts laughter in the room.
• Unless you are in a library or at the theatre being a quiet participant is not an option. You don't have to be loud, but you do have to be involved. See bullet #2 again.
• Step out. Enjoy life. Participate. Share your ideas and talents with others. You are here in this world for a reason. Fulfill it, or at least try to!