One thing off of the Bucket List

I finally signed up for Yoga Teacher Training. After five and something years of wanting to do it, I finally did! I wrote up the application, toured the studio, paid my registration fees and took my 1^st class in a nine-month training course, this past weekend. It was that simple. I had a million and one excuses before…. it was never the right time, there was always too much going on, kids were involved in this that and the other, then it was the kids’ university which is costly, there were the vacations that got in the way, the studios the classes were conducted at seemed hard to get to. Again, excuses and none of them substantial. If I really wanted to do it, I could have but just didn’t get around to doing it. Plain and simple. The “will” was not stronger than all those excuses combined. Finally, though, it was. I signed up, because this time, I REALLY wanted to do it. My intent and will were strong enough to finally commit to getting it done.

The 1^st weekend of the training course is now under my belt. I have nine more weekends and eight more Thursday nights to complete. The 1^st weekend was both exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. My classmates are wonderful, and our teachers are fabulous. The energy around the room, exhausted as we all were, was still very uplifting. Everyone had their own story and reasons for embarking on this journey and they were just as diverse as the group of us. It’s a lot to complete. It’s not going to be easy.  We must all fit in assignment time, regular yoga practice time, study time and training time along with work, family and just regular day to day stuff. Personal goals are never easy to achieve but the harder you work at it and achieve it, the sweeter the reward. Once completed, there will be one less item on my bucket list. I can’t wait.

How many times do we postpone things we really want to do? I am not talking about a loose wish list but something that has substance and real desire to complete like a long-standing bucket list item or a goal in life. This was one of them for me. A million of excuses and challenges certainly will come up. It’s up to us to move past them all. There is no such thing as the right time…. there will always be a bill that needs to be paid, there will always be regular day to day commitments, fitting it in to our already packed days and weeks and months will always be an issue but, nothing that cannot be addressed and overcome. There are ways. Lots of ways to “just do it” (thanks Nike). So, what’s stopping you? Start your list and figure out ways to overcome all those dreaded excuses.

I will leave you with this “Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Namaste!

Life is precious – don’t take it for granted!

It was 9/11 about a week ago and I am reminded how fragile and precious life is.  All those who lost their lives that day, headed out that morning to work, boarded a plane, went out for a walk or started their daily routine not knowing that it was their last. Their lives and the lives of their loved ones altered forever in just a fraction of a moment. Just like that.

I remember when the son of a very good friend of ours died in a boating accident. He was 13! I recall hearing the news stunned in disbelief. He was my son’s hockey team mate. He was out on their family boat on a long weekend in the summer when tragedy struck. I still remember the faces of the family members at the funeral and my son, along with five other team mates walking beside the casket. It hit home. Life is precious. Not a single moment should ever be taken for granted.

That experience taught me a lot.

·        Don’t save things for special occasions

·        If you have something nice to say to someone, say it. Don’t hold back

·        Pursue your dreams – write them down, set goals and keep chipping away at them

·        Every morning is a gift – treat it as such

·        Your family is the most important thing in this world. Never ever take them for granted

·        Appreciate the simple treasures in life

·        Don’t put off things you can accomplish today

·        Cultivate a grateful mindset

·        Never sweat the small stuff – “Let it go” ~ Frozen

·        Appreciate all the beauty around you

·        Live in the moment. Appreciate it. Treasure it. Soak it in

·        LIVE

·        Life is short – buy the shoes, take the trip, eat the cake

·        Know that you CAN make a difference, even in the smallest of ways you can

·        There is no such thing as a perfect time

I could keep going on. We get so caught up with life and the littlest of things at times that we forget to treasure the moment, enjoy the present and really and truly be grateful for the gift we have called life. So, live it. Treasure it. Take it in. Be ever so grateful for the gift of it.    

Own it and turn it into brilliance

Have you ever seen the TV series Ballers? It’s about a “fixer”/ “man Friday” to pro-football players and a series we are hooked on watching right now. Anyway, in one of the episodes the lead character Spencer, tries to patch things up with an old rival player, Balsamo, by having him throw out the first pitch at a baseball game. It’s a huge moment for the retired footballer, Balsamo. As he comes out, the crowd cheers him on and chants his name. It’s a flashback to his glory days. He takes to the pitcher’s mound and swings it hard towards home plate. He completely misses and slams the ball straight into the stomach of the boom-mic guy on the side. The crowd starts booing and someone yells “Balsamo, you suck”. Balsamo utterly butchered his spotlight moment and he stands frozen looking around at the crowd. Instead of cowering back to the stands, he owns the blunder, throws his arms up triumphantly and confidently, egging the crowd to cheer him on. Suddenly, the fans change, and they are back to applauding him and cheering him on. It’s an amazing moment. I remember watching it thinking it’s a wonderful lesson in turning things around. Not everything will go as well as we planned so why not own it and make it a brilliant lesson.

Sure, some lessons will be humbling, very humbling and we should not or may not have the opportunity to celebrate it, like catastrophes (I won’t go into detailed examples, but you can imagine what they are). These may not be the moments we throw our arms up in the air and ask for more applause, but there are lessons we can learn. We just take them in quietly, reflecting on them with care and grace.

For the most part though mistakes are just that, mistakes. We seem to give them too much negative energy, rather than spinning them into something good and something valuable to learn from. Here’s my two cents….

·        Own it – You made the mistake, take ownership. Accept, apologize and move on.

·        Fix it – It’s yours to fix, so fix it. Figure out a way to make amends, make it better and turn it around so there’s some good that comes out of it.

·        Learn from it – Mistakes have a way of repeating themselves if you don’t learn from them the first time. Funnily enough, that’s how life works. So, learn from it, preferable the first time and not the second- or third-time round.  

·        Pay it forward – If someone’s made the same mistake, help them and support them through it. 

·        Reflect – How do you do better? How can you avoid this again? What went wrong? Reflection is key for self-growth. Careful that you don’t go down the “woah is me” path. Stay above the fray. Stay classy.

·        Turn it into brilliance – Mistakes are sometimes opportunities in the making. Penicillin and the chocolate chip cookie were discovered because Sir Alexander Fleming and Ruth Wakefield made mistakes. You may not be inventing the next Penicillin but who knows, there maybe a golden opportunity you maybe missing. Look closely. 

I just finished reading the book, #Girlboss, the rags to riches story of Sophia Amoruso who founded “Nasty Gal”, the fastest growing retailer in 2012 according to Inc Magazine. There’s a line in the book that I love…. I quote; “My advice to #GIRLBOSSes is to get excited about the mistakes you’ll make”. So, here’s to the fictional Balsamo’s and the non-fictional Sophia Amoruso’s who embraced their mistakes and turned them into brilliance. It’s time we do the same!  

Practice pause

Sunday morning is my yoga day. I try not to miss it, even if we have lots going on. It’s the one time in the week I practice my pause. A pause from thinking, doing, rushing, cramming everything I can do and more, and just pause. It’s a reflection of the week and a great start to the week ahead. It’s just me and my mat.  Taking everything in and letting everything go. Inhaling. Exhaling. Practicing pause.

Why don’t we just incorporate that every day? The practice of pause.

We live in a society where doing just one thing at a time is just not good enough. It’s a multi-tasking, multi-everything kind of society. We seem to be biting off more than we can chew and call it an accomplishment. Have we done it well? What did we sacrifice whizzing through it? What toes did we step on? How was our health? How did it affect our family and friends? Was it worth it in the end? Not sure if we have the answers. We may not even have time to reflect.

I know when I take to my mat every Sunday morning, I slow down. I reflect. I appreciate the moment of just being there. Taking a breath. Appreciating it. Taking a breath. Being grateful for all I have. Practicing a pause. Enjoying it. Being present in the moment. Why don’t we do it more often? Throughout the day, throughout the year, throughout our lives. Practice pause. Reflect.

1.       When it’s overwhelming – pause

2.       Not sure where to go or what to do next – pause

3.       Inundated with news of the day – pause

4.       Finished a task and before diving into the next – pause

5.       Career changes – pause

6.       In the morning before you start your day – pause

7.       In the hustle and bustle of the day – pause

8.       Anytime you feel you need it – pause

9.       Before we speak – pause

10.   At the end of the day – pause

11.   Tackling a wicked problem – pause

12.   On your vacation – pause

13.   Before saying yes – pause

14.   Before saying no – pause

15.   With your loved ones – pause. A big pause.

I’ve named only 15 but there’s so many more occasions and reasons we can pause, take things in, reflect and carve out a little break. Here’s to practicing it more…. pause. Namaste.

YOU are the Lead Actor in your movie

Never be the supporting actress or actor in your own movie. You play the lead role so play it. Stop playing second fiddle and back up! Often, we become extras in our own movie, playing alongside others who have taken over the lead roles. Enough already. It’s time to step up and move over to the role you were meant to play. It’s time to take the lead so….

·        Lead – It’s what you are meant to do. It’s your movie. It’s your life, so lead it. Whether it’s becoming a trail blazer or meandering through the world and enjoying your journey through life, it’s up to you to decide. Whatever that decision is, live your best life. Do good. Do your best. Live to the fullest.

·        Commit – Any good actor knows to make it a blockbuster, you’ve got to commit to the role. Give it your everything and make it count. You can’t play a half-hearted character, you must be all in.

·        There will be do-overs – “Cut” the director yells. You get to run the scene again. I do realize sometimes you don’t have the luxury of a do-over. There are tragedies. In those instances, you take the time to heal and you move on to your next scene as hard as it maybe. Most times though, you do get a second chance. Sometimes however, it will take more than a second chance. Do it over and over until you get it right. It’s YOUR movie. It’s YOUR life.

·        Practice – Contrary to popular belief, it does not make perfect, but it will get you closer to it. Practice, over and over again. The more you practice, the better you get.

·        Change – As often as you want, as often as you need, change your story, change your scene. You are not only the lead actor but also the editor, director and producer all wrapped into one. At times though, change will happen without your direction. That’s just life keeping you in your toes. Re-adjust. Assess where you go next. It’s your movie, make it your own.

Too often we take a back seat in our own life. Letting others direct it the way they want. I just wanted to remind you that YOU are in fact the lead actor in your movie, in your life, so take centre stage. Lead…. “And action”….

Say it loud…… THE RAPTORS ARE THE 2019 NBA CHAMPS!

The Raptors are the 2019 NBA Champs!!! I like saying that. I will always remember where I was, who I was with and that glorious feeling of the “Sixers” (the 416ixers) winning in six. Two million people showed up for the parade to celebrate their historic win. This post is not about how great or historic that win was. We all know it was and then some more. It’s not about all the nail biting games they clinched leading up to it. It’s about how one man had a vision and moved his team towards executing that vision ever so well. It’s about leadership. The one big reason, in my humble opinion, why the Raptors won the Larry O’Brien trophy.

Most people did not understand or agree with the firing of former Raptor’s head coach Dwayne Casey, who had just been awarded Coach of the Year. Most people did not understand and hated the trade of fan favourite and star player DeMar DeRozen for Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green. It did not make sense to most, but to President of Raptor’s, Masai Ujiri, it made perfect sense. He was the leader that made the 2019 NBA championship possible. He executed pure and simple leadership.

·       Vision – He had a vision for the team and executed it with precision. He communicated that vision over and over, never giving up on it even when the team couldn’t see it. When the reality of it seemed like it was slipping away he still communicated that vision. He bought into the vision and kept selling us that vision at every opportunity he got. Yes, we all bought into it.

·       Seizing Opportunity – It was risky signing Kawhi Leonard coming off an injury, yet he seized it. A risky move, that later would pay off with an NBA championship and making Leonard one of the most valuable players in the sport.

·       Get the right people on the bus and get the wrong people off the bus – It’s a Jim Collin’s quote from his book “Good to Great”. If you haven’t read it, read it! It’s a great one. I’m sure it wasn’t easy letting Casey and Derozen go. To execute his vision and have it fulfilled however, it was needed. He needed to change up the dynamics of the team, change the leadership within it, so he could move it forward. He let them go, moved up Nick Nurse to head coach and brought in key players to fulfill his vision. After winning the championship he did give credit to both Casey and Derozen who were instrumental in the road towards the championship. Classy leadership!

·       Passion – He never lacked passion, in his pursuit of his vision, in the communication of his vision and the way he led. At times, he got into hot water trying to rally the team a little “too passionately” before crucial games.

·       Trust - He trusted his team, even when it seemed to not go as well. He was steadfast in his belief and trust in their capabilities and what they can achieve together.

If you follow basketball or the Raptors you would know that Kawhi Leonard, did not end up signing another season with Toronto. No hard feelings. We thank him for a stellar year and giving the city and the country something, we’ve never had before, an NBA championship. We wish him the best but not too much. We want to see the Raptors win again sometime soon. I trust Ujiri may have something up his sleeve …. I think it’s leadership.  

Rome wasn’t built in a day

We are painting, doing some small renos and trying to de-clutter all at the same time. The house looks a disaster and will probably look even worse when the real work begins when we replace the flooring downstairs. There are buckets of paint, plastic paper, paint brushes and garbage bags throughout the house. The bedroom no longer a sanctuary and our bathroom doesn’t have a mirror! Yes…. it’s annoying and a tad inconvenient to say the least.

I remind myself daily that transformation takes time. The results will be amazing in the end. I keep repeating the mantra in my head, so I don’t get too frustrated with the chaos we’re in right now. It’s not easy going through it. It feels endless and so chaotic that sometimes it does not make sense. I keep the end vision in mind to get through it along with some other helpful hints.

·       It will get hectic, chaotic and messy. There’s no way out of this, to truly transform. Knowing this helps get through the sticky spots. You know it will be messy. You can expect it. It’s a sure thing so be prepared to hang in there through the ugliness.

·       Don’t expect it to change over night. Transformation takes time and sometimes LOTS of time. Be patient. Keep the faith.

·       There will be small victories through the journey. Enjoy them. We couldn’t see the floor or the back wall of a closet. When we de-cluttered it, the whole space looked entirely different. Spacious, new and inviting. The rest of the space the closet is in, still has a long way to go but the closet is something else 😊 small victories. Relish them.

·       Organize the chaos. It doesn’t have to be one big hot mess. Each room, each task can have it’s assigned plan and chaos. Phase it all out. We chose to move through the house in stages but we weren’t sticklers about moving to the next task until the previous one was complete. We did what made sense. As paint was drying in one room, we de-cluttered the next. Be flexible about the plan and adjust as you go along.

·       Take a breather. Trying to push through and plug away without a break will only burn you out. We had injuries trying to push through. So we take a load off. Sometimes slowing down, does help you move faster and longer. Remember the turtle and the hare story? 

Transformation is not easy and certainly not for the faint of heart. If you truly want a change for the better, personally and professionally, transformation is always needed a few times in your life and career. Just know that “Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous in the end” ~ Robin Sharma

Drown out the white noise!

Ever had that nagging noise in the back of your head like a humdrum of a fan in the background? It usually comes on when a brilliant idea pops up or you want to go after something you’ve always wanted. Your passion, your dreams or goals perhaps. It’s an annoying buzz of negativity, what ifs and I don’t think it’s doable running low, slow and steady in the back of your mind. Drown it out! Yes, yes, it’s hard. Easier said than done I know, but, keep at it and it becomes easier and easier every time you do. Keep building that muscle of pushing out the noise. Soon it will become a habit and an instinct that helps you keep moving ahead with your ideas, goals and plans. Learn how to quieten the white noise when you have things to accomplish. Here’s how;

·        Take a break – Seems counter-intuitive but it really DOES work. Go for a walk. Take in nature. Just sit and still your mind with a cup of tea or coffee. Read a book. Do something to change the scenery. Don’t think about what needs to be done, just enjoy the moment, stay calm and try to quiet the mind by not thinking about what needs to be done, your idea, goal or plan. Just enjoy the moment just as it is. It may take a few hours, it may take a couple of days but tale the time needed to give yourself and your mind a break. Then get back at it.

·        Plan it out – “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail” ~ Benjamin Franklin. Plan out your idea or goal. Jot down the high-level steps, your details in-between, create a task list. It’s a great way to drown out the noise. Keep working towards your goal by pouring your mind and planning towards it. You won’t hear much of the noise planning out your big dream. Remember a dream is just a dream until it’s planned out and followed through by action to make it a reality.

·        Give in to it – Yes – it’s completely opposite of bullet #1, but, that white noise may be something you need to pay close attention to. Write down ALL the what ifs, the negatives, the issues and challenges. Think about ways to mitigate them. Write it out. Every time they come out, work out a strategy to overcome them. If you can’t come up with a strategy to overcome them, then action bullet #1 😊 it’s amazing what you can accomplish by just giving yourself a quick break.

·        Get help – Have a close circle of friends, family and encouragers. Seek out the most supportive in the lot and talk it out. Having a friendly ear always helps dispel any doubts. They can also help discern the real issues versus just random worries. Beware of the negative Nellies. See more here http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/05/dont-get-sucked-in.html They do have a purpose, but you are looking to move forward, so seek out the positive and encouraging allies you need during this time.  

Most often we don’t realize our purpose, dreams and goals, not because we can’t, but because we give into that white noise in the background. While there’s always value of listening in, there is more value in pushing through all that hum drum noise and realizing whatever it is you want to realize. So, shush that noise already and push through. Your passion project awaits.

You won't be everyone's cup of tea…

Not everyone will think you are awesome,….. and that’s perfectly OK!! Hard to accept but no matter how awesome you think you are or have heard it one thousand times over, there may be a few or just that one and only person that will disagree. Accept it and move on. It really is ok, and life will turn out alright. Really.

It's ok to have a “few” flaws and not be everyone’s cup of tea or coffee for that matter. Embrace it. It’s probably them and not you!! In any event, rather than obsessing about it, trying to be a people pleaser, converter or worse downright ignoring it, reflect, accept and move on.

• Stay true to your values – ALWAYS. Don’t ever change them, tweak them or set them aside to fit into someone else’s mold or awesomeness definition. Do you. The right people will appreciate it, accept it and love you for it. Those are the ones you want in your corner. Let the others go. Your values are important and something to treasure. They make you who you are and is your passport in this world. Don’t change them…. unless they are out of whack. If not, protect them with all your might.

• Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. You are unique. There is no one else like you. Be confident. Don’t be a people pleaser! You can’t stand out if you are always trying to fit in (thanks Dr. Seuss!). It’s ok to be different. It’s ok that some do not accept you for who you are. Love yourself for all your goodness, kindness, quirkiness, mistakes and substance. That is all you. If you don’t already, then take time to love it. Love YOU. If you need further proof, see… http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/04/be-yourself.html

• Other people’s opinions are just that…. other people’s. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion of you get you down. They are entitled to their opinion and you don’t have to accept it. Move on! Don’t allow the opinions of others affect you negatively. It’s quite alright to reflect on it but don’t do it for too long. We are all a work-in-progress so it’s important to reflect on room for improvements on ourselves. It doesn’t mean beating yourself up though. You need the right amount of space and time to reflect and truly move on. Pay attention to where it’s coming from as well. Some opinions maybe important but some belong in the trash.

It’s human nature to look for affection and validation in our day to day lives and relationships. We must come to terms though, that we will not get the love and affection ALL THE TIME, regardless of how awesome and amazing we are. You will not be everyone’s cup of tea and that may be a good thing.