Practice pause

Sunday morning is my yoga day. I try not to miss it, even if we have lots going on. It’s the one time in the week I practice my pause. A pause from thinking, doing, rushing, cramming everything I can do and more, and just pause. It’s a reflection of the week and a great start to the week ahead. It’s just me and my mat.  Taking everything in and letting everything go. Inhaling. Exhaling. Practicing pause.

Why don’t we just incorporate that every day? The practice of pause.

We live in a society where doing just one thing at a time is just not good enough. It’s a multi-tasking, multi-everything kind of society. We seem to be biting off more than we can chew and call it an accomplishment. Have we done it well? What did we sacrifice whizzing through it? What toes did we step on? How was our health? How did it affect our family and friends? Was it worth it in the end? Not sure if we have the answers. We may not even have time to reflect.

I know when I take to my mat every Sunday morning, I slow down. I reflect. I appreciate the moment of just being there. Taking a breath. Appreciating it. Taking a breath. Being grateful for all I have. Practicing a pause. Enjoying it. Being present in the moment. Why don’t we do it more often? Throughout the day, throughout the year, throughout our lives. Practice pause. Reflect.

1.       When it’s overwhelming – pause

2.       Not sure where to go or what to do next – pause

3.       Inundated with news of the day – pause

4.       Finished a task and before diving into the next – pause

5.       Career changes – pause

6.       In the morning before you start your day – pause

7.       In the hustle and bustle of the day – pause

8.       Anytime you feel you need it – pause

9.       Before we speak – pause

10.   At the end of the day – pause

11.   Tackling a wicked problem – pause

12.   On your vacation – pause

13.   Before saying yes – pause

14.   Before saying no – pause

15.   With your loved ones – pause. A big pause.

I’ve named only 15 but there’s so many more occasions and reasons we can pause, take things in, reflect and carve out a little break. Here’s to practicing it more…. pause. Namaste.

YOU are the Lead Actor in your movie

Never be the supporting actress or actor in your own movie. You play the lead role so play it. Stop playing second fiddle and back up! Often, we become extras in our own movie, playing alongside others who have taken over the lead roles. Enough already. It’s time to step up and move over to the role you were meant to play. It’s time to take the lead so….

·        Lead – It’s what you are meant to do. It’s your movie. It’s your life, so lead it. Whether it’s becoming a trail blazer or meandering through the world and enjoying your journey through life, it’s up to you to decide. Whatever that decision is, live your best life. Do good. Do your best. Live to the fullest.

·        Commit – Any good actor knows to make it a blockbuster, you’ve got to commit to the role. Give it your everything and make it count. You can’t play a half-hearted character, you must be all in.

·        There will be do-overs – “Cut” the director yells. You get to run the scene again. I do realize sometimes you don’t have the luxury of a do-over. There are tragedies. In those instances, you take the time to heal and you move on to your next scene as hard as it maybe. Most times though, you do get a second chance. Sometimes however, it will take more than a second chance. Do it over and over until you get it right. It’s YOUR movie. It’s YOUR life.

·        Practice – Contrary to popular belief, it does not make perfect, but it will get you closer to it. Practice, over and over again. The more you practice, the better you get.

·        Change – As often as you want, as often as you need, change your story, change your scene. You are not only the lead actor but also the editor, director and producer all wrapped into one. At times though, change will happen without your direction. That’s just life keeping you in your toes. Re-adjust. Assess where you go next. It’s your movie, make it your own.

Too often we take a back seat in our own life. Letting others direct it the way they want. I just wanted to remind you that YOU are in fact the lead actor in your movie, in your life, so take centre stage. Lead…. “And action”….

Say it loud…… THE RAPTORS ARE THE 2019 NBA CHAMPS!

The Raptors are the 2019 NBA Champs!!! I like saying that. I will always remember where I was, who I was with and that glorious feeling of the “Sixers” (the 416ixers) winning in six. Two million people showed up for the parade to celebrate their historic win. This post is not about how great or historic that win was. We all know it was and then some more. It’s not about all the nail biting games they clinched leading up to it. It’s about how one man had a vision and moved his team towards executing that vision ever so well. It’s about leadership. The one big reason, in my humble opinion, why the Raptors won the Larry O’Brien trophy.

Most people did not understand or agree with the firing of former Raptor’s head coach Dwayne Casey, who had just been awarded Coach of the Year. Most people did not understand and hated the trade of fan favourite and star player DeMar DeRozen for Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green. It did not make sense to most, but to President of Raptor’s, Masai Ujiri, it made perfect sense. He was the leader that made the 2019 NBA championship possible. He executed pure and simple leadership.

·       Vision – He had a vision for the team and executed it with precision. He communicated that vision over and over, never giving up on it even when the team couldn’t see it. When the reality of it seemed like it was slipping away he still communicated that vision. He bought into the vision and kept selling us that vision at every opportunity he got. Yes, we all bought into it.

·       Seizing Opportunity – It was risky signing Kawhi Leonard coming off an injury, yet he seized it. A risky move, that later would pay off with an NBA championship and making Leonard one of the most valuable players in the sport.

·       Get the right people on the bus and get the wrong people off the bus – It’s a Jim Collin’s quote from his book “Good to Great”. If you haven’t read it, read it! It’s a great one. I’m sure it wasn’t easy letting Casey and Derozen go. To execute his vision and have it fulfilled however, it was needed. He needed to change up the dynamics of the team, change the leadership within it, so he could move it forward. He let them go, moved up Nick Nurse to head coach and brought in key players to fulfill his vision. After winning the championship he did give credit to both Casey and Derozen who were instrumental in the road towards the championship. Classy leadership!

·       Passion – He never lacked passion, in his pursuit of his vision, in the communication of his vision and the way he led. At times, he got into hot water trying to rally the team a little “too passionately” before crucial games.

·       Trust - He trusted his team, even when it seemed to not go as well. He was steadfast in his belief and trust in their capabilities and what they can achieve together.

If you follow basketball or the Raptors you would know that Kawhi Leonard, did not end up signing another season with Toronto. No hard feelings. We thank him for a stellar year and giving the city and the country something, we’ve never had before, an NBA championship. We wish him the best but not too much. We want to see the Raptors win again sometime soon. I trust Ujiri may have something up his sleeve …. I think it’s leadership.  

Do what you do with passion

I had posted my usual motivational tweet one morning… “Do what you do with passion or not at all”, to which someone sarcastically tweeted back, “I’m cleaning today, should I do that with passion too?” I said, “Absolutely yes”. Sure, it’s not, the most exciting of tasks, but still… why not? I would think you would want a clean looking house. How would you achieve the best possible result if you were grudgingly doing the work? I know I can’t. It’s easy when you are excited about the project or task to get passionate about the work. Not quite the same when it’s a mundane or day to day chore. So how do you get that excitement going?

·       Boost it up – ask yourself if it’s necessary – if not, then don’t do it. If it’s necessary, then get it done. Boost it up to liven the time doing it. I use music to boost up any tired old chore. Cleaning is a perfect example. With good music, I do feel passionately doing the most mundane of tasks. A little bit of wine helps too and sometimes more than just a little.

·       What’s next?  - it helps to think what’s coming up next. At times it’s something more exciting within a project or goal. Get the boring stuff out of the way to make room for the more exciting stuff. Doing with well and efficiently, will only lead to a better experience after it.

·       Two hands are always better than one – I like to include my family and friends in some of the not-so-exciting things I need to do. When we got our basement ready, when we needed to do some major cleaning and purging, I made sure I sourced out help. Didn’t want to keep all the “fun” to myself. It became an event, an exciting one and not so daunting and boring after all.

·       Envision the end – it’s nice to have a vision, with everything. It doesn’t have to be formal or written down but, planning it out in your head and envisioning the result and what it would look like can be good motivation on getting things done and getting them done well.

I must leave to complete another mundane task. Yes, it’s absolutely needed, and I am envisioning the final product to get me going. The end-result involves a very exciting NBA Finals game 5 against the Raptors and Golden State Warriors. Here I go with passion……

Rome wasn’t built in a day

We are painting, doing some small renos and trying to de-clutter all at the same time. The house looks a disaster and will probably look even worse when the real work begins when we replace the flooring downstairs. There are buckets of paint, plastic paper, paint brushes and garbage bags throughout the house. The bedroom no longer a sanctuary and our bathroom doesn’t have a mirror! Yes…. it’s annoying and a tad inconvenient to say the least.

I remind myself daily that transformation takes time. The results will be amazing in the end. I keep repeating the mantra in my head, so I don’t get too frustrated with the chaos we’re in right now. It’s not easy going through it. It feels endless and so chaotic that sometimes it does not make sense. I keep the end vision in mind to get through it along with some other helpful hints.

·       It will get hectic, chaotic and messy. There’s no way out of this, to truly transform. Knowing this helps get through the sticky spots. You know it will be messy. You can expect it. It’s a sure thing so be prepared to hang in there through the ugliness.

·       Don’t expect it to change over night. Transformation takes time and sometimes LOTS of time. Be patient. Keep the faith.

·       There will be small victories through the journey. Enjoy them. We couldn’t see the floor or the back wall of a closet. When we de-cluttered it, the whole space looked entirely different. Spacious, new and inviting. The rest of the space the closet is in, still has a long way to go but the closet is something else 😊 small victories. Relish them.

·       Organize the chaos. It doesn’t have to be one big hot mess. Each room, each task can have it’s assigned plan and chaos. Phase it all out. We chose to move through the house in stages but we weren’t sticklers about moving to the next task until the previous one was complete. We did what made sense. As paint was drying in one room, we de-cluttered the next. Be flexible about the plan and adjust as you go along.

·       Take a breather. Trying to push through and plug away without a break will only burn you out. We had injuries trying to push through. So we take a load off. Sometimes slowing down, does help you move faster and longer. Remember the turtle and the hare story? 

Transformation is not easy and certainly not for the faint of heart. If you truly want a change for the better, personally and professionally, transformation is always needed a few times in your life and career. Just know that “Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous in the end” ~ Robin Sharma

When life gives you lemons…

I was looking for an inspirational/get well soon card today after finding out that a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer. One of them said “When life gives you lemons, you squeeze them in someone’s eyes”. Made me laugh and exactly what I needed to lighten the mood. What do you do, when life give you lemons? It can come in many forms, one of them being that dreaded C word. My daughter’s friend’s mom was also recently diagnosed, and my cousin’s been fighting it for over two years. While I have had my share of challenges, I’ve been luck enough that they haven’t been significantly life altering. So, what do you exactly do? I don’t have all the answers and it will be different for each person. I have learnt from my awesome cousin and friend that you simply keep going, as much as you can, as far as you can.

·        Take the time you need to heal. Pause, if you can. Catch your breath and assess what your next move will be. Will it be making lemonade out of the lemons you were just dished, or will it be a shot of tequila, followed quickly by that slice of lemon. Time may not be your friend, but it will give you a moment to assess and come up with a game plan of tackling the stack of lemons in front of you.

·        Appreciate the little positive moments you get in between the chaos. Every day is really a gift and should not be taken for granted. Take in the mundane, the not so exciting times and any little relief you get in between. They won’t all be bad, so treasure the positivity and the rays of sunshine as you go through your tiring journey.

·        Take a posse with you. My friend has a community around her of co-workers, close friends and of course, family. She’s building a buddy system, so she is not walking her path alone. For any life events, big or small she will be taking someone along with her, to support her, lift her up or just be there with her.

·        Do what feels right. There is no instruction manual or book to overcome life’s tough blows. Even if there were, they won’t exactly apply to what you are going through. Do what feels right. You will have lots of instructions and advice. Most of it well-intentioned. So, take the good with the bad and come up with your very own way of dealing with the stress, the tasks, the recovery and plan.

·        Ask for help. Never shy away from asking your friends and family for support or help. Most are only too happy to offer a helping hand and just need to be told what to do.

So, when life gives you lemons, what will you do? Maybe just hang in there and remind yourself that “this too shall pass”. I am not sure what exactly I would do, but I do love lemonade and a good shot of tequila.

Persistence

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success – Napoleon Hill

Persistence is defined by the firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action despite difficulty or opposition. It’s undeniably the one factor that overcomes defeat, pushes people to succeed and conquers those so-called unattainable goals. The ability to keep pushing past barriers, struggles, challenges and overcoming the impossible at times, to accomplish what you want, is a worthy and admirable skill. It’s the single trait that allows people to keep moving forward and not take life’s hard blows lying down. I love reflecting on the examples we know well and some not as much. It’s something to strive towards and remind yourself to keep driving forward and getting up every time we fall and fail.  Here’s some fine example of persistence….in no particular order.

1.    Tiger Woods - History was made the other day with Tiger Woods winning the 2019 Masters tournament. He battled a dreadful unhinging of his personal life, a diminishing golf career and physical injuries to come back on top. After his steady demise he battled back to win his first major in eleven years becoming the 2019 Masters champion.

2.       Diana Nyad – At age 64 and on her 5^th attempt Diane Nyad, conquered the swim from Havana, Cuba to Florida. There were some critics and controversies surrounding her unassisted swim following her accomplishment. Still, you can’t ignore the fact that perseverance drove her to complete the swim on her fifth attempt at age 64! Thirty-five years after her first attempt at this feat at age 29 in 1978, it’s nothing but impressive. 

3.       Michael Jordon – “I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” It wasn’t everything but net for Michael Jordon who failed to make his high school basketball team. Not making the team was devastating but it pushed him to keep working harder and to keep persevering. It’s common knowledge how impressive of a career he had in basketball and by far one of the greatest athletes of our time.

4.       Nelson Mandela – After 27 years in prison, Mandela, did not give up hope or the desire to dismantle apartheid in South Africa. Soon after his release in 1990, he led the efforts to end apartheid. His long and gruelling stint in prison did not deter him from achieving his goal and desire for his nation. He was also befittingly called Madiba, Father of the Nation.

5.       Oprah Winfrey – Born into poverty and surviving a horrific childhood, Oprah persisted and slowly became a pinnacle of success and a magnate in the media. Her never say die attitude and positive thinking still resonates and changes peoples lives daily. Persistence is powerful.

6.       Joanne K Rowling – The author of the Harry Potter series, J K Rowling, was a single mom, who lived on welfare but never gave up her writing. She persisted through hardships, a divorce and depression, writing and mapping out her Harry Potter series wherever and whenever she could. The Harry Potter script was rejected by twelve major publishing houses and a couple years later was picked up by a small publisher who gave Rowling a small advance for the book and published only 1000 copies. The rest as you know is history.

7.       Sylvester Stallone – Trying hard to make a living, Stallone wrote the script for Rocky and wanted to star as the main character. He was rejected and was later offered $350,000 for the rights to the script, with someone else as the lead. He didn’t give in and settled for a much lower price for the script but with him as the star. The famous Rocky would not be the same without the persistence of Stallone.

8.       Alex Honnold – If you haven’t watched Free Solo yet, please do. It highlights the sheer grit, courage and persistence of Alex Honnold. He is the first and only person to free solo El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. His methodical and thoughtful planning along with his persistence of seeing it through despite all the risks involved, helped create one of the greatest athletic feats of our time.

9.       Walt Disney – He failed over and over before he succeeded. Several of his business went bankrupt before, Walt Disney became a mogul in the animation world. He believed in his art form and kept pushing through his failures and challenges. His loving creation Mickey Mouse still entertains and spreads happiness across the world today.

10.   Mahatma Gandhi – Lawyer who then become a political and social activist led the charge of gaining freedom in India. Exposed to racial discrimination in South Africa, Gandhi gradually became a social activist fighting for racial equality and rights in South Africa. Returning to his home country, India, Gandhi became synonymous with freedom and civil rights. His persistent, non-violent, non-cooperation movement helped the eventual independence of India.

Have I left off any other examples of persistence? If so, please do share!