Do what you do with passion

I had posted my usual motivational tweet one morning… “Do what you do with passion or not at all”, to which someone sarcastically tweeted back, “I’m cleaning today, should I do that with passion too?” I said, “Absolutely yes”. Sure, it’s not, the most exciting of tasks, but still… why not? I would think you would want a clean looking house. How would you achieve the best possible result if you were grudgingly doing the work? I know I can’t. It’s easy when you are excited about the project or task to get passionate about the work. Not quite the same when it’s a mundane or day to day chore. So how do you get that excitement going?

·       Boost it up – ask yourself if it’s necessary – if not, then don’t do it. If it’s necessary, then get it done. Boost it up to liven the time doing it. I use music to boost up any tired old chore. Cleaning is a perfect example. With good music, I do feel passionately doing the most mundane of tasks. A little bit of wine helps too and sometimes more than just a little.

·       What’s next?  - it helps to think what’s coming up next. At times it’s something more exciting within a project or goal. Get the boring stuff out of the way to make room for the more exciting stuff. Doing with well and efficiently, will only lead to a better experience after it.

·       Two hands are always better than one – I like to include my family and friends in some of the not-so-exciting things I need to do. When we got our basement ready, when we needed to do some major cleaning and purging, I made sure I sourced out help. Didn’t want to keep all the “fun” to myself. It became an event, an exciting one and not so daunting and boring after all.

·       Envision the end – it’s nice to have a vision, with everything. It doesn’t have to be formal or written down but, planning it out in your head and envisioning the result and what it would look like can be good motivation on getting things done and getting them done well.

I must leave to complete another mundane task. Yes, it’s absolutely needed, and I am envisioning the final product to get me going. The end-result involves a very exciting NBA Finals game 5 against the Raptors and Golden State Warriors. Here I go with passion……

Rome wasn’t built in a day

We are painting, doing some small renos and trying to de-clutter all at the same time. The house looks a disaster and will probably look even worse when the real work begins when we replace the flooring downstairs. There are buckets of paint, plastic paper, paint brushes and garbage bags throughout the house. The bedroom no longer a sanctuary and our bathroom doesn’t have a mirror! Yes…. it’s annoying and a tad inconvenient to say the least.

I remind myself daily that transformation takes time. The results will be amazing in the end. I keep repeating the mantra in my head, so I don’t get too frustrated with the chaos we’re in right now. It’s not easy going through it. It feels endless and so chaotic that sometimes it does not make sense. I keep the end vision in mind to get through it along with some other helpful hints.

·       It will get hectic, chaotic and messy. There’s no way out of this, to truly transform. Knowing this helps get through the sticky spots. You know it will be messy. You can expect it. It’s a sure thing so be prepared to hang in there through the ugliness.

·       Don’t expect it to change over night. Transformation takes time and sometimes LOTS of time. Be patient. Keep the faith.

·       There will be small victories through the journey. Enjoy them. We couldn’t see the floor or the back wall of a closet. When we de-cluttered it, the whole space looked entirely different. Spacious, new and inviting. The rest of the space the closet is in, still has a long way to go but the closet is something else 😊 small victories. Relish them.

·       Organize the chaos. It doesn’t have to be one big hot mess. Each room, each task can have it’s assigned plan and chaos. Phase it all out. We chose to move through the house in stages but we weren’t sticklers about moving to the next task until the previous one was complete. We did what made sense. As paint was drying in one room, we de-cluttered the next. Be flexible about the plan and adjust as you go along.

·       Take a breather. Trying to push through and plug away without a break will only burn you out. We had injuries trying to push through. So we take a load off. Sometimes slowing down, does help you move faster and longer. Remember the turtle and the hare story? 

Transformation is not easy and certainly not for the faint of heart. If you truly want a change for the better, personally and professionally, transformation is always needed a few times in your life and career. Just know that “Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous in the end” ~ Robin Sharma

When life gives you lemons…

I was looking for an inspirational/get well soon card today after finding out that a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer. One of them said “When life gives you lemons, you squeeze them in someone’s eyes”. Made me laugh and exactly what I needed to lighten the mood. What do you do, when life give you lemons? It can come in many forms, one of them being that dreaded C word. My daughter’s friend’s mom was also recently diagnosed, and my cousin’s been fighting it for over two years. While I have had my share of challenges, I’ve been luck enough that they haven’t been significantly life altering. So, what do you exactly do? I don’t have all the answers and it will be different for each person. I have learnt from my awesome cousin and friend that you simply keep going, as much as you can, as far as you can.

·        Take the time you need to heal. Pause, if you can. Catch your breath and assess what your next move will be. Will it be making lemonade out of the lemons you were just dished, or will it be a shot of tequila, followed quickly by that slice of lemon. Time may not be your friend, but it will give you a moment to assess and come up with a game plan of tackling the stack of lemons in front of you.

·        Appreciate the little positive moments you get in between the chaos. Every day is really a gift and should not be taken for granted. Take in the mundane, the not so exciting times and any little relief you get in between. They won’t all be bad, so treasure the positivity and the rays of sunshine as you go through your tiring journey.

·        Take a posse with you. My friend has a community around her of co-workers, close friends and of course, family. She’s building a buddy system, so she is not walking her path alone. For any life events, big or small she will be taking someone along with her, to support her, lift her up or just be there with her.

·        Do what feels right. There is no instruction manual or book to overcome life’s tough blows. Even if there were, they won’t exactly apply to what you are going through. Do what feels right. You will have lots of instructions and advice. Most of it well-intentioned. So, take the good with the bad and come up with your very own way of dealing with the stress, the tasks, the recovery and plan.

·        Ask for help. Never shy away from asking your friends and family for support or help. Most are only too happy to offer a helping hand and just need to be told what to do.

So, when life gives you lemons, what will you do? Maybe just hang in there and remind yourself that “this too shall pass”. I am not sure what exactly I would do, but I do love lemonade and a good shot of tequila.

Persistence

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success – Napoleon Hill

Persistence is defined by the firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action despite difficulty or opposition. It’s undeniably the one factor that overcomes defeat, pushes people to succeed and conquers those so-called unattainable goals. The ability to keep pushing past barriers, struggles, challenges and overcoming the impossible at times, to accomplish what you want, is a worthy and admirable skill. It’s the single trait that allows people to keep moving forward and not take life’s hard blows lying down. I love reflecting on the examples we know well and some not as much. It’s something to strive towards and remind yourself to keep driving forward and getting up every time we fall and fail.  Here’s some fine example of persistence….in no particular order.

1.    Tiger Woods - History was made the other day with Tiger Woods winning the 2019 Masters tournament. He battled a dreadful unhinging of his personal life, a diminishing golf career and physical injuries to come back on top. After his steady demise he battled back to win his first major in eleven years becoming the 2019 Masters champion.

2.       Diana Nyad – At age 64 and on her 5^th attempt Diane Nyad, conquered the swim from Havana, Cuba to Florida. There were some critics and controversies surrounding her unassisted swim following her accomplishment. Still, you can’t ignore the fact that perseverance drove her to complete the swim on her fifth attempt at age 64! Thirty-five years after her first attempt at this feat at age 29 in 1978, it’s nothing but impressive. 

3.       Michael Jordon – “I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” It wasn’t everything but net for Michael Jordon who failed to make his high school basketball team. Not making the team was devastating but it pushed him to keep working harder and to keep persevering. It’s common knowledge how impressive of a career he had in basketball and by far one of the greatest athletes of our time.

4.       Nelson Mandela – After 27 years in prison, Mandela, did not give up hope or the desire to dismantle apartheid in South Africa. Soon after his release in 1990, he led the efforts to end apartheid. His long and gruelling stint in prison did not deter him from achieving his goal and desire for his nation. He was also befittingly called Madiba, Father of the Nation.

5.       Oprah Winfrey – Born into poverty and surviving a horrific childhood, Oprah persisted and slowly became a pinnacle of success and a magnate in the media. Her never say die attitude and positive thinking still resonates and changes peoples lives daily. Persistence is powerful.

6.       Joanne K Rowling – The author of the Harry Potter series, J K Rowling, was a single mom, who lived on welfare but never gave up her writing. She persisted through hardships, a divorce and depression, writing and mapping out her Harry Potter series wherever and whenever she could. The Harry Potter script was rejected by twelve major publishing houses and a couple years later was picked up by a small publisher who gave Rowling a small advance for the book and published only 1000 copies. The rest as you know is history.

7.       Sylvester Stallone – Trying hard to make a living, Stallone wrote the script for Rocky and wanted to star as the main character. He was rejected and was later offered $350,000 for the rights to the script, with someone else as the lead. He didn’t give in and settled for a much lower price for the script but with him as the star. The famous Rocky would not be the same without the persistence of Stallone.

8.       Alex Honnold – If you haven’t watched Free Solo yet, please do. It highlights the sheer grit, courage and persistence of Alex Honnold. He is the first and only person to free solo El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. His methodical and thoughtful planning along with his persistence of seeing it through despite all the risks involved, helped create one of the greatest athletic feats of our time.

9.       Walt Disney – He failed over and over before he succeeded. Several of his business went bankrupt before, Walt Disney became a mogul in the animation world. He believed in his art form and kept pushing through his failures and challenges. His loving creation Mickey Mouse still entertains and spreads happiness across the world today.

10.   Mahatma Gandhi – Lawyer who then become a political and social activist led the charge of gaining freedom in India. Exposed to racial discrimination in South Africa, Gandhi gradually became a social activist fighting for racial equality and rights in South Africa. Returning to his home country, India, Gandhi became synonymous with freedom and civil rights. His persistent, non-violent, non-cooperation movement helped the eventual independence of India.

Have I left off any other examples of persistence? If so, please do share!

Put down that phone.

It’s the age of the smart phone where you see everyone engrossed in their hand-held devices. If you just sit back and observe people around you, wherever you are, you will notice how almost everyone is buried on their phones. Yes, including me. There’d be people beside you, family, friends and strangers waiting for something, in the middle of a conversation, having dinner, watching TV, and all focus is on the phone. I saw a brilliant cartoon the other day on Facebook where people around were portrayed as shadows and the people beside them portrayed brightly and vividly on their phone, oblivious to the real world situations and people around them thanks to that wondrous invention – the smart phone. One time, we were at the airport and witnessed a family of four – mom, dad, two young children about five or 7 years old and all four of them on their devices sitting and waiting in the lounge. “How sad” I thought to myself and was also so thankful I didn’t have to raise my two kids (now adults 21 and 19) with the distraction of the smart phone or iPad. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not ALL bad. There is a purpose and wonderful world within that smart phone no doubt, however, as with anything in life, moderation is key.

There is an increased link to mental health issues, social anxiety and an addiction to social media due to the introduction of the smart phone. That’s another post for another time.

I feel I am constantly reminding my family of the need to put down that phone. At dinner and meal times together, it is an absolute NO, and everyone adheres to it! Overall though, it’s a hard sell. The smart phone gives you that distraction, engagement, entertainment and mindless leisure all at your finger tips….so I am starting the change with me.

·       I give myself periods during the day where I use it and then have time to be completely unplugged.

·       The phone was my train ride buddy – but now, I use it only half way through and switch to a great read for the other half of the ride. I’ve been reading more lately which I quite enjoy. I am currently reading Michelle Obama’s “Becoming” – a great read!

·       The mindless game of Candy Crush has stopped while having a conversation on speaker phone or my headset.

·       It’s been a treat to engage with people and being present fully without having to twiddle my thumbs on the device.

·       When I am watching TV or a movie – I do just that or at least I try my best to. This is still, a work in progress. For the most part it’s, no more picking up the phone and idling through social media during the boring parts or commercials.

·       It’s an absolute NO while enjoying company and hanging out with friends and family.

The phone still is a valuable tool when you want to look things up further to what you are watching or discussing, so that’s not going to stop. It’s a joy though, to enjoy life and people with no distractions. To be fully present. To enjoy and experience the moment just as it is. It’s hard for those, like me, who are accustomed now to the ease of information and entertainment right at your finger tips. It’s a process to unlearn something you just picked up and oh so well too. It’s work-in-progress to me. Now, I will be picking it up to post and promote this blog post and catch up on others, but right after, I am putting that darn phone down.

Drown out the white noise!

Ever had that nagging noise in the back of your head like a humdrum of a fan in the background? It usually comes on when a brilliant idea pops up or you want to go after something you’ve always wanted. Your passion, your dreams or goals perhaps. It’s an annoying buzz of negativity, what ifs and I don’t think it’s doable running low, slow and steady in the back of your mind. Drown it out! Yes, yes, it’s hard. Easier said than done I know, but, keep at it and it becomes easier and easier every time you do. Keep building that muscle of pushing out the noise. Soon it will become a habit and an instinct that helps you keep moving ahead with your ideas, goals and plans. Learn how to quieten the white noise when you have things to accomplish. Here’s how;

·        Take a break – Seems counter-intuitive but it really DOES work. Go for a walk. Take in nature. Just sit and still your mind with a cup of tea or coffee. Read a book. Do something to change the scenery. Don’t think about what needs to be done, just enjoy the moment, stay calm and try to quiet the mind by not thinking about what needs to be done, your idea, goal or plan. Just enjoy the moment just as it is. It may take a few hours, it may take a couple of days but tale the time needed to give yourself and your mind a break. Then get back at it.

·        Plan it out – “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail” ~ Benjamin Franklin. Plan out your idea or goal. Jot down the high-level steps, your details in-between, create a task list. It’s a great way to drown out the noise. Keep working towards your goal by pouring your mind and planning towards it. You won’t hear much of the noise planning out your big dream. Remember a dream is just a dream until it’s planned out and followed through by action to make it a reality.

·        Give in to it – Yes – it’s completely opposite of bullet #1, but, that white noise may be something you need to pay close attention to. Write down ALL the what ifs, the negatives, the issues and challenges. Think about ways to mitigate them. Write it out. Every time they come out, work out a strategy to overcome them. If you can’t come up with a strategy to overcome them, then action bullet #1 😊 it’s amazing what you can accomplish by just giving yourself a quick break.

·        Get help – Have a close circle of friends, family and encouragers. Seek out the most supportive in the lot and talk it out. Having a friendly ear always helps dispel any doubts. They can also help discern the real issues versus just random worries. Beware of the negative Nellies. See more here http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/05/dont-get-sucked-in.html They do have a purpose, but you are looking to move forward, so seek out the positive and encouraging allies you need during this time.  

Most often we don’t realize our purpose, dreams and goals, not because we can’t, but because we give into that white noise in the background. While there’s always value of listening in, there is more value in pushing through all that hum drum noise and realizing whatever it is you want to realize. So, shush that noise already and push through. Your passion project awaits.

You won't be everyone's cup of tea…

Not everyone will think you are awesome,….. and that’s perfectly OK!! Hard to accept but no matter how awesome you think you are or have heard it one thousand times over, there may be a few or just that one and only person that will disagree. Accept it and move on. It really is ok, and life will turn out alright. Really.

It's ok to have a “few” flaws and not be everyone’s cup of tea or coffee for that matter. Embrace it. It’s probably them and not you!! In any event, rather than obsessing about it, trying to be a people pleaser, converter or worse downright ignoring it, reflect, accept and move on.

• Stay true to your values – ALWAYS. Don’t ever change them, tweak them or set them aside to fit into someone else’s mold or awesomeness definition. Do you. The right people will appreciate it, accept it and love you for it. Those are the ones you want in your corner. Let the others go. Your values are important and something to treasure. They make you who you are and is your passport in this world. Don’t change them…. unless they are out of whack. If not, protect them with all your might.

• Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. You are unique. There is no one else like you. Be confident. Don’t be a people pleaser! You can’t stand out if you are always trying to fit in (thanks Dr. Seuss!). It’s ok to be different. It’s ok that some do not accept you for who you are. Love yourself for all your goodness, kindness, quirkiness, mistakes and substance. That is all you. If you don’t already, then take time to love it. Love YOU. If you need further proof, see… http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/04/be-yourself.html

• Other people’s opinions are just that…. other people’s. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion of you get you down. They are entitled to their opinion and you don’t have to accept it. Move on! Don’t allow the opinions of others affect you negatively. It’s quite alright to reflect on it but don’t do it for too long. We are all a work-in-progress so it’s important to reflect on room for improvements on ourselves. It doesn’t mean beating yourself up though. You need the right amount of space and time to reflect and truly move on. Pay attention to where it’s coming from as well. Some opinions maybe important but some belong in the trash.

It’s human nature to look for affection and validation in our day to day lives and relationships. We must come to terms though, that we will not get the love and affection ALL THE TIME, regardless of how awesome and amazing we are. You will not be everyone’s cup of tea and that may be a good thing.