You won't be everyone's cup of tea…

Not everyone will think you are awesome,….. and that’s perfectly OK!! Hard to accept but no matter how awesome you think you are or have heard it one thousand times over, there may be a few or just that one and only person that will disagree. Accept it and move on. It really is ok, and life will turn out alright. Really.

It's ok to have a “few” flaws and not be everyone’s cup of tea or coffee for that matter. Embrace it. It’s probably them and not you!! In any event, rather than obsessing about it, trying to be a people pleaser, converter or worse downright ignoring it, reflect, accept and move on.

• Stay true to your values – ALWAYS. Don’t ever change them, tweak them or set them aside to fit into someone else’s mold or awesomeness definition. Do you. The right people will appreciate it, accept it and love you for it. Those are the ones you want in your corner. Let the others go. Your values are important and something to treasure. They make you who you are and is your passport in this world. Don’t change them…. unless they are out of whack. If not, protect them with all your might.

• Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. You are unique. There is no one else like you. Be confident. Don’t be a people pleaser! You can’t stand out if you are always trying to fit in (thanks Dr. Seuss!). It’s ok to be different. It’s ok that some do not accept you for who you are. Love yourself for all your goodness, kindness, quirkiness, mistakes and substance. That is all you. If you don’t already, then take time to love it. Love YOU. If you need further proof, see… http://tehanimott.blogspot.com/2013/04/be-yourself.html

• Other people’s opinions are just that…. other people’s. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion of you get you down. They are entitled to their opinion and you don’t have to accept it. Move on! Don’t allow the opinions of others affect you negatively. It’s quite alright to reflect on it but don’t do it for too long. We are all a work-in-progress so it’s important to reflect on room for improvements on ourselves. It doesn’t mean beating yourself up though. You need the right amount of space and time to reflect and truly move on. Pay attention to where it’s coming from as well. Some opinions maybe important but some belong in the trash.

It’s human nature to look for affection and validation in our day to day lives and relationships. We must come to terms though, that we will not get the love and affection ALL THE TIME, regardless of how awesome and amazing we are. You will not be everyone’s cup of tea and that may be a good thing.

Don’t forget to sign me up for the NHL!!!

Tomorrow will be my son’s very last hockey game of his “house-league minor hockey career”. Personally, I hope he never gives it up and continues to play perhaps at university or pick up with his pals and maybe eventually join the beer leagues. We have had just as much fun, if not more, watching him play, grow and boy did we acquire a whole hockey family with us along the way.

He started out playing soccer at the tender age of three and a half. His first organized sport. I remember sizing him up against the other players on his team. Josh had an athletic-like build and was a strapping three and a half year old. Star player of the team I thought compared to the tiny team mates around him. Both my husband and I were ex-athletes and yes you could say “stars” in our own element. He must take after us I thought as I waited eagerly for the 1^st game of his promising sports career to begin. As the other tiny little boys ran around like bees after the ball, there was my son in the middle of the field picking dandelions with another spectacled boy and blowing the fluffy white wishes at us with glee. “Go after the ball Josh” I shouted, half shocked at my son and half annoyed at the other spectacled boy who I was sure had distracted him from the game. Needless to say, his soccer career didn’t last long thank goodness and we eventually moved onto what became his love, all our loves…. hockey.

He started off half walking and half skating, going the wrong way, falling down every time he took a shot, but boy did he ever try and hustle around that ice. We found it! His sport became our sport and his love became ours. One night as I tucked him into bed he said to me “Mom, don’t forget to sign me up for the NHL (National Hockey League)” …..if only, …a lofty dream for an average house-league hockey player who eventually became the star player in our eyes. NHL was far beyond our hopes. We just wanted a jersey that fit that year!!

Josh’s hockey career gave us many great times, awesome experiences, drama…oh my word the drama that resulted from the passion of the game, incredible amount of pain when one of his team-mates passed away tragically, lessons that will stay with us forever and most of all it gave us a wealth of fond memories, life-long friendships and a wonderful hockey family. A family that can undoubtedly be counted on THREE things at any time;

1.       A ride to and from the rink

2.       Advice on all things, hockey and life, even when you don’t ask for it

And ABOVE ALL

3.       A RIOT OF A TIME!!!

I remember Josh`s very first goal…I cried. I remember his first punch right smack on the face of a bully on the ice…I beamed with pride…. he was nominated Assistant Captain that year and I was sure the punch had lots to do with it. I remember well when he was nailed against the boards and suffered his first concussion…. I cringed. I will remember his grin on the ice and quick glance at the stands when he scored, which wasn`t that often for a defenseman. I will miss sitting in the cold arena cheering or yelling at the top of my lungs. I will miss the laughs, the tournaments, getting told off by the hotel security at those tournaments to keep it down and turn off the karaoke. I will miss the pub nights after the game. I will NOT miss going to the games a whole hour and a half ahead of time, so my husband could prepare the game sheet and get ready to co-coach and manage the team. I will miss very specially watching my #4 Left Defenseman hustling around the ice with the very best of people…. our hockey family, our forever friends.

Tomorrow is his very last game. The team secured an overtime win of a nail biter to move on to the Finals. We all needed a drink at the pub after to calm ourselves down! I don’t know if the team will end up winning the championship tomorrow. Josh’s team won Gold the very first year he played hockey and it would seem a fitting finish ending with Gold. I won’t lie it would be just GOLDEN to win!! In any event, I know what outcome I can always count on…. lots of fun and definitely another awesome memory! Go Spits!!!

Your Heart Does Not Lie!

2013 was a pivotal year for me. After having worked 12 years at my previous company, taking on a new role and a new challenge each year pretty much, I decided to call it quits and take my chances going after new opportunities. People thought I was nuts, having a pretty good gig going on. I loved the people, the place but no longer felt challenged or excited. I had nothing lined up nor was I actively looking right away after I quit. Instead I took the time off, to discover, play, travel and take on new challenges I would not have otherwise experienced had I stayed PUT! Just a few of my highlights;

1.    Gained my PMP (project management professional certification)

2.    Figured out social media and ran some marketing and sales campaigns

3.    Except for Lincoln, I saw all Oscar nominated “Best Picture” movies

4.    Disneyworld with my family…. Loads of fun!

5.    New Orleans!!

6.    Opened up my company and started a blog…which reminds me I have to write more often!

7.    Gained some awesome friends and mentors

8.    Got an opportunity to serve on the board of directors for the Canadian Mental Health Association in Peel region

9.    Landed a terrific new opportunity that affords me the privilege to serve and challenges me with some very exciting projects ahead

10.  My very favourite……LOTS of family time.

I am a NOT a believer of good things come to those who wait. I am a believer of going after what you want. So, go get it!! Don’t wait! Apart from the highlights, here are three very important lessons I took with me this year……

Listen to your heart

Do what feels right to you. You will have tons of naysayers. Learn to tune them OUT! I remember hearing the phrase “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” over and over, again. I tuned it out. I took a risk. A BIG risk and live to tell you that it was sooooo worth it! Do what you want to do and what feels right! Learn to listen to yourself more and tune out the white noise around you. Listen to your heart.

Seek out and cherish your support system

Being a mom of two, a wife, a mortgage holder, a bill payer, I couldn’t just up and quit and follow my speaking heart. I needed the support of my family. I needed them on my side. They encouraged me to follow my heart and when I was ready to seek out my next opportunity, they became my biggest cheerleaders. They cheered me on every single day. Make sure you have a very strong support system. I had the very best!!

Surround yourself with positivity

You are what you think. Guard your thoughts and actions carefully. Surround yourself with positive people. You can’t soar with the eagles if you hang around the turkeys. Figure out who your eagles and turkeys are and pick your company wisely. I surrounded myself with positivity and with people I could learn from, and did I ever learn a ton! Your attitude will determine your altitude and you want to make sure you aim high! Positivity is key!

So, what are some of the things you learned in 2013? Do let me know …..

Your Excitement Can Move People to Change!

The only constant and inevitable thing is change. You can be assured that just when things settle down, they will change soon enough. So, don’t get too comfortable!

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often – Winston Churchill

The last project I completed involved an implementation of a brand-new investment product and a new Customer Relationship Management system. The word around the water cooler was that it was the “project from hell”. There were times mid-project that I too believed it. Murphy certainly poked his head not once, not twice but several times during the 3+ year span of the project. It was essentially a strategic initiative (somehow initiative sounds too light of a word) that summed all the changes that the company had ever gone through and delivered it in one giant swoosh. A new system, new product, new processes, new ways of doing business, new rules and regulations, new project methodology, new project teams and members, some of them lived across the pond...…literally, and did I add, business transformational! There were some bumps along the way. With all of the ups, downs and turnarounds, the new product was eventually delivered, the system was launched, and the people lived! I was the Project Manager of the “Change” stream, which most saw as a chore, an afterthought or a “nice to have”. WHAAATTT!!   

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance – Alan Watts

People did start to dance eventually. They danced and even sang to the rhythm of change, some holding hands even to the finish line! The venue, the music, the dance steps people followed, were carefully thought out and executed. It started early and was repeated often. The music changed, the steps including the players changed, but, there was always music, there was always a dance and a conductor to lead the group.

To lead significant change, the kind that’s business transformational, one can list several “MUST Dos”. There are books upon books written on how to get people from here to there and in no means am I suggesting my outline of steps below is it or better than what’s out there! Absolutely not!! They were what I observed and felt that worked for me when leading change. I write it in hopes that it will perhaps help you lead change. So, here’s my short list of MUST Dos;

1.

    1. 1111

1.    What will change look like, a.k.a your vision?

 

What will change look like, a.k.a your vision?

I need to envision the beach and the hotel before I even consider taking a vacation there. I am not the backpacker type. I do enjoy my creature comforts and as such, need to envision what it will look like before inertia begins. Added to that, I usually travel with my family and there’s no way of convincing them to come along unless I really believe it. You do have to know what change will look like, what your vision is, so you can paint a picture for your team. Giving them a picture allows them the benefit of envisioning it too.

Create a need and urgency for change!

It would be impossible to move people forward willingly and successfully without defining the why. Unfortunately shoving them forward is NOT an option!! Explain the need and urgency for change and people almost always will follow. Some will even step up and be your change agents who will help you in leading change. There may be several reasons for change; however, staying ALIVE most often is the reason for great and massive change. Make sure you explain that, and it’s clearly understood. Do that successfully, and you will have an eager group ready to help you lead the change.

Get people on board

You need people. You need people on board with you on the train to change. Look for those change agents. They are your hidden gems in getting everyone else excited about change. Most people don’t like change. But you will find a few who don’t like the status quo. They are the ones who thrive on change and chaos. Bring them on board with you first and it will be easier to move everyone else along. Your attitude about change is HUGE. As a change leader, you set the tone for people to follow. If you are hesitant, then no one else will really buy your need for change. Get excited and inspire people into action.

Plan, Do, Check and Act

This is usually applied to quality, but also works when leading change. You must plan how you will execute the transformational change needed. You then execute the change. You check along the way to see if it worked, and then you act on what worked and what didn’t. Do it frequently throughout the process. Change is constant and so is the process of change.

Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

Do it early and do it often. Be direct! You don’t want your message diluted or misconstrued. Use a variety of methods, media and forums to communicate. Communication is not necessarily a memo, email or presentation. Be creative with your communication. Have events, games, town-halls leading up to change. Keep it exciting. Keep them wanting more.  

 “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

Leading change is not easy. You need to live it, believe it, and breathe it, day in and day out. You will need to be a fearless, skilled and strong driver wearing a coat of Teflon. People will need to see the change in you and want to be a part of that change. Your attitude is EVERYTHING!

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

The quote was inspired by Marianne Williamson’s poem; Our Deepest Fear. Thanks David Hain for the history lesson! If you haven’t read the poem yet, I strongly encourage you to read it.

So, what are your thoughts on leading change? What change leadership methods worked for you? What didn’t? Would love to hear your thoughts and ideas……

Yep, I have a horn of plenty!

Cornucopia; commonly seen around Thanksgiving time, is a symbol of abundance, plenty, fruit, nourishment and colour. It was around the Canadian tables, mid-October, and will show off its’ autumn hues again on the American tables, end of November. Coming from an Asian country I knew nothing of its’ symbolism and existence until I settled in Canada. It is a great reminder of things to be thankful for, the one day of the year. If only it permanently stays the full 365 days of the year and 366 days every leap year!! Would it then help us remember the abundance in our lives? The things we take for granted daily? The little things we should be thankful for that others may not have the privilege to experience or have?

Alli Polin reminded me of this with her blog on “Ditch the Stress; Choose Gratitude” If you haven’t read it yet I highly recommend you do. I did, which inspired this post on being thankful and here is my list of things I am VERY thankful for;

1. My Husband, Son and Daughter…yes that’s three but they are all #1 on my list and the reason for ALL I do and am.
2. My Dad, Mom, Sister and Brother (I hate the word brother in law) in Texas, who know, that even though I don’t say it often, I love them with all my heart.
3. Wonderful, crazy, fun and awesome friends. They keep me young and happy.
4. My God. My faith!
5. I am thankful for the roof over my head. I see people on my daily commute who live under a bridge in Toronto. They are people just like you and me, but some circumstance in life got them there. Don’t judge!!
6. My country. Yes, even in winter I love it!
7. My job, which I don’t consider a job. It’s my opportunity to serve.
8. Good health.
9. My church community.
10. Social media and the amazing people I connect through it. They inspire me daily on my commute to work and back home. Also, without it, I wouldn’t be writing this post.
11. My online communities; #LeadWithGiants, #LeadFromWithin and #HRockstars. They keep me learning and motivated.
12. The honourable men and women that serve to protect us and our freedoms.
13. Shoes and handbags…. thank you sister for making me appreciate them!
14. Hockey games, specially my son’s! It keeps my vocal cords strong.
15. My daughter’s Cheerleading. It keeps us traveling often.
16. The Canadian Mental Health Association, Peel and the Board members I serve with. They have given me an opportunity to do something good.
17. Music…. all kinds of music.
18. Good food.
19. A seat on the GO train. It’s a precious thing in the morning.
20. The great times I have with my family.
21. Board games which happens to also contribute to #18.
22. Good movies. Gladiator is #1 on my list of faves.
23. Joe, the paper man near the subway, who always smiles and says good morning to everyone bustling by. I wish more people would smile back at the very least!
24. My life, just the way it is!
25. Swimming. It has taught me a TON. I now miss those grueling days dearly.
26. Family vacations.
27. Lilly at Tim Horton’s. She always serves me my coffee with a GIANT smile.
28. Tim Horton’s coffee. It’s certainly not the best but gives me comfort.
29. I am thankful for YOU, for reading this.
30. My family as a whole. They’ve shaped me and continue to do so everyday!

Thanks again for reading! I hope it has inspired you and was worth your time. Do jot down your list of things you are thankful for. I did! Thanks, Alli Polin for that inspiration!

Chance connections aren’t really by chance, they are meant to be!

“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous” – Albert Einstein

Last Thursday I was walking down Yonge Street in Toronto heading for an 11am meeting when I ran into a throng, quite a large throng I may add, of business men and women all suited up with clip boards in hand walking to who knows where. I was wandering what the big occasion was…. was it a tour group, real estate agents checking out the new condos being built, a convention going on I didn’t know about? I happened to walk along-side a lady that was part of the throng and started up a conversation.  We exchanged the usual pleasantries, talked about how great that it wasn’t raining and continued walking along the street. I found out the “throng” had just come out of a company meeting and that she was working on several projects. I asked her how the project was going and what her role in the project was. “Funny” I said to her “I am in fact a project manager.  I know just how it feels working on a challenging project”. Projects, project teams, deliverables, milestones…. kind of language are near and dear to me. She asked me where I work, to which I responded, “I am in transition and looking for my next opportunity”. She then excitedly suggested I run up two blocks to the head of the throng, to meet with the recruiting manager. Not an easy feat in heals and a tight skirt in the heart of busy Yonge Street sandwiched with people beside and ahead of you. Thanks, but no thanks!! I gave her my business card, asked her to pass it along to the recruiting manager and asked her to keep in touch. The latter being the most important. I love meeting people, building relationships and maintaining those relationships. Some of those relationships have become some of my closest friends, trusted advisers and one of those relationships, ended up my husband! So, I don’t take chance meetings lightly in the least bit.

The next day I had an email waiting for me from my newly found friend letting me know that she’s passed my information over to her recruiter. I then got a call later that day, from the recruiting manager himself discussing the future opportunities, company culture, and turns out, he happened to know three of my former bosses that I loved working with! It’s a small world after all!

I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe that things certainly happen for a reason. I believe that chance meetings grow into infectious connections. In a time where we are inundated with noise, information, throngs of people and just our day to day busy lives, it’s so important to connect, be it short and so called “coincidental”. These connections will eventual grow, become infectious, help tie our talents and ideas and ultimately bring us closer to helping each other out. Next time you are walking next to someone, make sure you walk with them, take a moment to say hello and be open to the wondrous possibilities!

You learnt Networking in Kindergarten…. You just need to bring it out!

I have been silent for a while and was wondering what to blog about. I started on a post only to switch gears to talk about…. networking. Since of late I have been attending a lot of self awareness and entrepreneurial workshops. One of the workshops was on self branding and networking. As I sat eager to absorb all what was in store, I looked around the room, observing everyone’s reaction to the speaker. About half the room was wide eyed and bushy tailed, the other half nervously shifted, looking around the floor and at everyone but the speaker. The information was an easy digest for those wide eyed bushy tailed folks, but quite extreme for the other half. I heard one say “I am not in sales, it’s just not for me”. Hmm, don’t we sell something at some point in our illustrious lives? Didn’t we all have to sell chocolates or raffle tickets for our school club or sports team? Didn’t we have to sell our parents on the latest video game, toy, gear or social event we ABSOLUTELY needed? For those of us parents, haven’t we sold our kids on programs, books and lessons that were CRITICAL to their development and growth? “It’ll be lots of fun” I’d say making sure my tone and excitement matched the desired outcome. I digress….. back to NETWORKING.

First what is networking? It’s building and maintaining relationships. It’s making new friends and keeping the “old” ones. Networking is vital to starting and maintaining a business, to gaining satisfactory employment and contributing to your community and society. It started in kindergarten and that we do it everyday without us even realizing it. My hope is that we recognize it, do it with intent, be authentic and don’t focus on getting but also giving in return. The bolded words need the most focus. Focus on the giving and it will be a pleasure to network, any time and anywhere. Be authentic and it will feel smooth as butter. So, here’s what we ALL learned in kindergarten that will help us network and be better relationship builders! 

• Ask your friends if they want to play. Then ask your friends to bring their friends to play next time. Soon you will be playing with your newly found friends and all you had to do was just be introduced. Haven’t we done that playing in the sandbox? You invite your good friend Jenny, then she invites her friend Sammy and soon you and Sammy are hanging out. The same goes with relationships today. Connect with your friendly circle, who will then introduce you to their friendly circle and before you know it you have a bigger friendly circle to play with.

• Share your toys! Sharing is caring and it’s never fun to play alone. You have talents, stories, ideas, skills, experiences and passion, which are your grown-up toys. Share them and share them willingly with people. You never know when you will be called upon to share them. Your passion and willingness are key! Share them grudgingly and my guess is that you will be enjoying your toys all by yourself. Share them willingly and passionately and you will be sharing a whole lot!

• Ask questions! We stopped asking loads of questions somewhere between kindergarten and high school, not sure why. Go back to kindergarten and be child-like in your questioning. Ask them what they do, what they like about it and what they don’t. Ask them what “toys” they have and share with them the “toys” you have. Didn’t we all do that? “I have a school house with a bell on it at home we can play with, what do you have?”

• Be nice! Be yourself and Smile! Yes that’s 3 bullets wrapped into one. 

As I end this know that I am smiling. I am myself and dare I say most times I am NICE! Happy networking all!